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Rank the Star Wars Movies

    • 1439 posts
    December 12, 2017 6:13 PM EST

    Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921) said:

    It's entirely skippable for just about any reason IMO. The worst part, in my opinion, is one of Vader's lines. God damn Darth Vader making a pun about Force Choke (You wouldn't want to 'choke' on your aspirations or whatever the line was). Might be fine if you hadn't watched the prequels, but after how depressing Anikan was for the whole third movie, I just can't see Vader making puns. Though, every character was just pretty terrible, except maybe the guy that just didn't talk much. Like it when subpar movies have characters that don't talk.

    Man, dunno. The first test of the Death Star was kind of cool to see on screen, and it was interesting to see what it'd do to just one city. We've seen it destroy planets and giant space cruisers, but the city was kind of great. Bit of a shame that they didn't work in some sort of Imperial conflict there though, everyone seemed entirely fine with destroying a city with tens/hundreds of thousands of people living in it. Seems like you could've worked that in at some point, maybe have him get involved with the Rebels or really anything to say that the Empire isn't all terrible. Because until FA we don't see that, which makes it all the more jarring when we do.

    Or Rebels, but well, Vader, in tge comics at least, DID have instances of a dark sense of humor, among other things, like when he reencountered C3PO after he was dissassembled.

    • 261 posts
    December 12, 2017 6:14 PM EST
    Even in the OT, Vader had his moments. The "apology accepted" force choke comes to mind.
    • 558 posts
    December 12, 2017 6:59 PM EST
    I was really disappointed when I heard Vader with that pun. That hispanic guy's droid had awful humor. I was internally cheering when he got shot to death. Partly because the droid was annoying, and partly because the Stormtroopers actually killed a main character for once. Yeah, I enjoyed the Death Star test shots. Unrelated note, but am I the only one who cringed when the Stormtroopers gave that phony Roman salute during General Hux's speech. Like we get it, the First Order are German Nazis. Corny as hell.
    • 203 posts
    December 12, 2017 7:05 PM EST

    Tenebrous said: Even in the OT, Vader had his moments. The "apology accepted" force choke comes to mind.

    Exactly, in the original three movies, the ones happening just after Rogue one, Vader likes the occasional force choke pun. A lot of time has passed since Anakin from the prequels; in the original movies he's grown in power to the point where he has been considering killing off the emperor and taking the throne for himself, the dark humour would be a simple by-product of that power growth.

    • 71 posts
    December 16, 2017 12:14 AM EST

    Wulfhedinn said:

    Gollum..... you're kidding. I have no problems with your list, except.....The Revenge of the Sith was abhorrent. The entire purpose of the Prequels was to establish the lore. They did that well, but everything else was terrible. The most therapeutic experience of my life was slaughtering Gungans on Naboo in SWBF2. 

    In my opinion, it goes as follows. 

    1. Empire Strikes Back

    2. A New Hope

    3. Rogue One

    4. Return of the Jedi

    5. The Force Awakens

    6. Revenge of the Sith

    7. Attack of the Clones 

    8. The Phantom Menace

    Yeah, Mark Hamill is soemtimes a little off, but this saga was so revolutionary, it was the Sci-Fi movie that brought them into the light, like Skyrim was the RPG that brought them to a mainstream western audience. It's just such a revolutionary movie series. Even Disney is handling it alright. In my opinion, I think Hayden Christensen should burn in a special corner of hell, occupied solely by Jar Jar Binks.

    This right here. Except for maybe wishing eternal damnation upon Hayden Christensen's soul. He has to live with the memory of the films, that should be enough torment. 

    • 558 posts
    December 16, 2017 1:56 AM EST

    Honestly, Return of the Jedi is the only movie you can call abhorrent. The first 30 minutes are pretty awful. I think the idea was to worldbuild in Jabba's Palace, but I was either bored or cringing the whole time. The live performance was cringe-worthy. I despise 3PO and R2 in general, but here their misadventure and servitude in Jabba's palace was simply a drawn out waste of time. The Rancor vs. Luke was really silly. It moved unrealistically slow, and, as an adult, looked fake. The only thing about Jabba's palace that was sort of intriguing was the design of those spider things and Leia in her mask.

    The Sarlac Pit scenes were disappointing. Boba Fett, the notorious bounty hunter, getting accidentally killed by a half blind guy. Lando's scene where he was trying to get out of the pit was ridiculous, it was drawn out and not believable. He was shown climbing out of the pit by himself, but for some reason Han needed to throw himself out of the sail ship, too.

    I'm on mobile, so I'll just talk about Endor, now. We spend like 15 minutes with dumb Ewok worldbuilding. C3PO is a god! The man-children -- I mean, children will enjoy hearing C3PO ramble on about things we've already seen to the Ewoks. Don't forget about the badly written and acted reveal of Luke and Leia's siblinghood to Han Solo. "You love him, don't you?" says Han. remember last movie when Leia said "I love you" and Han said "I know"? The flat delivery and pathetic dialogue from RotJ ruined that. "Yes", responds Leia. "Alright", says Han. Ford not even acting here. "He's my brother." Great writing. A Song of Ice and Fire was probably greatly influenced by the incest depicted in the children's film trilogy, Star Wars. Anyways, the writers got busy making the stormtroopers look even more incompetent than ever before. The elite troops of the empire got defeated by rocks and stones thrown by teddy bears. And for some reason, there is a shot of an Ewok that hits himself in the face with a rock, followed by an extremely dark scene where and Ewok gets killed and is mourned by his friend, which is then followed by Chewbacca doing his Tarzan impression. Just a small editing nitpick, but this sequence jerks you around so hard it takes you out of the movie completely.

    Up in space, Palpatine is being dope, and Luke is wasting time. What was he doing up there? He was standing around, being passive and getting Wormtoungued by Palpatine, even though he was on a mission to at least defeat Vader or Palpatine. Now we get to the worst written part of all. In the fight with Vader, Luke turns to the dark side, which is the exact reason he beats Vader. Remember when Yoda said "Dark side is not more powerful, but more tempting". We can throw that out, I guess. And since Luke turned to the dark side, I guess Palpatine succeeded. Oh, wait. Luke just throws away the saber and says, "I'll never join you". The movie is not consistent with the SW universe. As far as choreography, at the end of the fight Luke is seen bashing Vader's saber repeatedly, even though Vader is basically on his ass and is not using the sword to defend himself. This was a pathetic display. Logically, you would think that Luke would just knock Vader's saber to the side to chop his hand off and not take any chances since Luke already had him on his behind. But the writers wanted to show how mad Luke was, so they made him smack Vader's sword a few times for no logical reason. Palpatine just looks retarded when Vader picks him up. His hands are locked in the force lightning position and he doesn't even resist.

    At least Lucas did right and put the living god himself, Hayden Christensen, in the movie as Anakin's force ghost. Now I want to switch this movie's place with ESB.


    This post was edited by Gollum at December 16, 2017 12:00 PM EST
    • 1467 posts
    December 16, 2017 3:31 AM EST

    Watched Last Jedi today, and I'll admit that it's better than Force Awakens. Won't say too much at the moment (since I have no idea how many people have seen it) but yeah, that's all really. 

    • 558 posts
    December 16, 2017 11:58 AM EST

    I haven't seen it, but I have heard that it got a mixed response. I still plan on seeing it even though I think I spoiled for myself. If I don't like this TLJ, then I guess I will give up on Disney Star Wars. I wasn't impressed by the first two.

    • 1439 posts
    December 16, 2017 3:47 PM EST
    While this is just conjecture, it is possible that Luke, unknowingly, used something similar to Vapaad. Basically, Mace Windu created a lightsaber style to channel his enjoyment of a fight and his native planet's Dark Side affinity, and then let it pass after the fight the was done. It's possible Luke temporarily tapped into the Dark Side, but once his anger had subsided, he slid back into the light
    • 558 posts
    December 18, 2017 1:55 PM EST

    @Dragonborn I edited my response to your original comment to go more in depth (saying I liked it because it was great was lame). I didn't really give you much to respond to.

    • 558 posts
    December 22, 2017 6:14 PM EST

    Just watched The Last Jedi today. I liked it more than I thought I would, but it's no The Phantom Menace. 


    This post was edited by Gollum at December 22, 2017 6:15 PM EST
    • 278 posts
    December 22, 2017 7:13 PM EST

    I enjoyed Rogue One, adored The Last Jedi and totally believe that it might be the best since Empire. The cinematography was stunning, chars were great and I think Rian Johnson did an amazing job.

    • 278 posts
    December 22, 2017 7:15 PM EST

    Gollum said:

    At least Lucas did right and put the living god himself, Hayden Christensen, in the movie as Anakin's force ghost. Now I want to switch this movie's place with ESB.

    Stop.

    • 278 posts
    December 22, 2017 7:16 PM EST

    Delidas said:

    Wulfhedinn said:

    Gollum..... you're kidding. I have no problems with your list, except.....The Revenge of the Sith was abhorrent. The entire purpose of the Prequels was to establish the lore. They did that well, but everything else was terrible. The most therapeutic experience of my life was slaughtering Gungans on Naboo in SWBF2. 

    In my opinion, it goes as follows. 

    1. Empire Strikes Back

    2. A New Hope

    3. Rogue One

    4. Return of the Jedi

    5. The Force Awakens

    6. Revenge of the Sith

    7. Attack of the Clones 

    8. The Phantom Menace

    Yeah, Mark Hamill is soemtimes a little off, but this saga was so revolutionary, it was the Sci-Fi movie that brought them into the light, like Skyrim was the RPG that brought them to a mainstream western audience. It's just such a revolutionary movie series. Even Disney is handling it alright. In my opinion, I think Hayden Christensen should burn in a special corner of hell, occupied solely by Jar Jar Binks.

    This right here. Except for maybe wishing eternal damnation upon Hayden Christensen's soul. He has to live with the memory of the films, that should be enough torment. 

    You, Delidas, are a living legend. Let us purge the starways with the blood of Hayden Christensen's whiny twelve year old voice, and then clean it with the blood of every human involved in creating Jar Jar Binks.

    • 278 posts
    December 22, 2017 7:20 PM EST

    Gollum said: I was really disappointed when I heard Vader with that pun. That hispanic guy's droid had awful humor. I was internally cheering when he got shot to death. Partly because the droid was annoying, and partly because the Stormtroopers actually killed a main character for once. Yeah, I enjoyed the Death Star test shots. Unrelated note, but am I the only one who cringed when the Stormtroopers gave that phony Roman salute during General Hux's speech. Like we get it, the First Order are German Nazis. Corny as hell.

    I didn't realise but your opinion is the normal Star Wars fan opinion but flipped upside down. Instead of liking OT you like Prequels. Instead of liking Rogue One you .. like Hayden Christensen? Don't know there.

    What did you think of the Last Jedi?

    *SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER*

    I'm glad they killed off Snoke, otherwise it would be too similar to RoTJ.

    On a side note, I do wish they made the Imperials more competent.

    • 295 posts
    December 22, 2017 8:53 PM EST

    Lol, I saw TLJ too and it was meh.

    As if we could have an even BIGGER Mary Sue. Best part was the*spoiler* team up of Kylo Ren and Mary Sue *end spoiler* and just when I was hoping "OH YES, go in a different direction, PLEASE, GO THERE!", it didn't happen and it made the rest of the movie meh.

    I did like the scenery and effects and the action sequences.  

    • 558 posts
    December 22, 2017 9:56 PM EST

    This = spoiler

    The Last Jedi is easily my favorite Disney Star Wars (really not saying much).

    I liked Mark Hamill in this film.

    They finally gave Kylo Ren some motivation, thankfully.

    I thought Snoke stole the show, even if the throne room was the ugliest set I have ever seen in Star Wars. 

    I honestly felt like Rey was less of a Mary Sue in this one. SPOILER She got mopped by Snoke, and she actually got saved by someone other than herself. Rey was literally powerless against him. Snoke really had her number, I felt. END SPOILER 

    Long Chapper I was so disappointed when it didn't turn out like that. That would have been amazing as hell, and it leads you to believe that it is going to happen, but it ends up being a fake out. There are quite a few fake outs, annoyingly.

    During the last ten or fifteen minutes they played the Binary Sunset track like three times, and I had to roll my eyes. The score overall was better than the other Disney films, but when you use Binary Sunset and Leia's theme the whole movie, is that really saying much?

    The Finn/Rose stuff was inconsequential to the plot, and although it developed the characters more, it took way too long in a 2 hour and 30 minute action film. The Poe/Holdo plot was pretty meh. Again, it had little bearing on the plot, whatsoever. Luke and Kylo's backstory felt like a stretch coming from the OT, but I'll buy it. Rey/Luke plot was okay. 

    They were going for more of a character driven movie than a plot driven one. I'm just not sure that works in a 150 minute action film.

    There were a few scenes off the top that left me scratching my head: Leia in space, BB8 in an AT-ST, and Phasma dying (Boba Fett 2.0). I also feel like Snoke needs some more backstory. He left as soon as he arrived 

    Also, I thought I would hate the humor in it more than I did, with people calling it "Marvel-esque", but I actually still think that ESB is far worse in that regard.

    EDIT: Also, we really should've gotten a reasonable explanation for Rey's prowess. So I do see where you are coming from Long Chapper. 

     

     

     


    This post was edited by Gollum at December 22, 2017 10:05 PM EST
    • 295 posts
    December 22, 2017 10:52 PM EST

    But I will say this, Chewie is a way better pilot than Han. When Han was driving, that old piece of junk Falcon would get hit ALL the time, but when the Wookie drives, nothing, goes through those salt canyons and evades Imperial fighters like he was taking a pleasure drive down the coast. :D Go Chewie! The only male (I think, who knows? Watch they give him a sex change in the final movie.) character that isn't either dumb, or incompetent, or has a complete about face with regard to character in this whole sequel trilogy. Though he would've achieved a whole level of awesome if he ate a Porg. 

    Porgs are like sand, they're annoying and get into everything. 

    Yeah, that throne room was like a bad episode of original Star Trek slapped with Flash Gordon arena fight scene (the 1980 film).

    I like the binary Sunset track, but not three times. There is a cute joke among musicisans regarding John Williams. 

    How John Williams writes a score...

    John Williams enters the studio, walks to the piano, plays a perfect fifth, leaves the studio. :D

    • 558 posts
    December 22, 2017 11:08 PM EST

    I think that this was the first movie that I actually like Chewbacca in. I might have liked him in Revenge of the Sith, but I can't remember if he was the wookie that did the Tarzan impression or not becaause he did one in Return of the Jedi. I didn't want to say this originally, but there definitely was a theme in The Last Jedi about the females correcting males. Finn got corrected by Rose, Luke got corrected by Rey, and Poe got corrected by Leia and Holdo.

     

    • 295 posts
    December 23, 2017 5:18 AM EST

    Gollum said:

    I think that this was the first movie that I actually like Chewbacca in. I might have liked him in Revenge of the Sith, but I can't remember if he was the wookie that did the Tarzan impression or not becaause he did one in Return of the Jedi. I didn't want to say this originally, but there definitely was a theme in The Last Jedi about the females correcting males. Finn got corrected by Rose, Luke got corrected by Rey, and Poe got corrected by Leia and Holdo.

     

    Yes, that's all I've been noticing, from even the Force Awakens this happens. Make good characters, Disney, but making good characters is not accomplished by making everyone around said characters morons. That's the easy way out. A writer with decent chops wouldn't do that. 

    • 197 posts
    February 7, 2018 12:37 PM EST

    1. Rogue One - I can’t even speak about this movie without tearing up.

    2. A New Hope - of course. My family has watched this movie on video disc, Betamax, vhs, dvd, and Blu-ray. We wore out the vhs and had to buy at least one new copy. 

    3. Empire Strikes Back - saw this in the cinema when it came out. Still have the little cup they gave me with the kid’s popcorn pack. 

    4. The Last Jedi - I have problems with this one, just like everyone else. So many mixed messages between men and women, just perpetuates stereotypes that need to be left in the dust. And it bothered me that Leia was considered such an amazing general, yet she lets everyone below her in rank get away with things that would not fly in reality. No way. Captain Phasma’s character just feels completely out of place in both movies. I do, though, love what happened in the battle between Rey, Kylo, and Snoke. Thought that was brilliant. And what happened with Rey’s parentage. And Benecio del Toro. And the way the movie ended, I loved it. 

    5. Return of the Jedi - again, I saw this in the cinema when I was little, so the Ewoks have never bothered me as much as they do some people. 

    6. The Force Awakens

    7. Revenge of the Sith - my husband thinks this is a great movie, and I will never understand why he thinks so. 

    8. Attack of the Clones - I’ve liked Hayden Christiansen in some things. But no. He looked so uncomfortable the entire time, and I tried to convince myself that was how he was plaxing Anakin, but I don’t think so. He was just wrong for the part.

    9. The Phantom Menace - god. 

    • 558 posts
    April 17, 2018 5:56 PM EDT

    ilanisilver said:

    1. Rogue One - I can’t even speak about this movie without tearing up.

    2. A New Hope - of course. My family has watched this movie on video disc, Betamax, vhs, dvd, and Blu-ray. We wore out the vhs and had to buy at least one new copy. 

    3. Empire Strikes Back - saw this in the cinema when it came out. Still have the little cup they gave me with the kid’s popcorn pack. 

    4. The Last Jedi - I have problems with this one, just like everyone else. So many mixed messages between men and women, just perpetuates stereotypes that need to be left in the dust. And it bothered me that Leia was considered such an amazing general, yet she lets everyone below her in rank get away with things that would not fly in reality. No way. Captain Phasma’s character just feels completely out of place in both movies. I do, though, love what happened in the battle between Rey, Kylo, and Snoke. Thought that was brilliant. And what happened with Rey’s parentage. And Benecio del Toro. And the way the movie ended, I loved it. 

    5. Return of the Jedi - again, I saw this in the cinema when I was little, so the Ewoks have never bothered me as much as they do some people. 

    6. The Force Awakens

    7. Revenge of the Sith - my husband thinks this is a great movie, and I will never understand why he thinks so. 

    8. Attack of the Clones - I’ve liked Hayden Christiansen in some things. But no. He looked so uncomfortable the entire time, and I tried to convince myself that was how he was plaxing Anakin, but I don’t think so. He was just wrong for the part.

    9. The Phantom Menace - god. 

    I wish I got that much enjoyment out of Rogue One.

    I think the reason Revenge of the Sith is rated so highly by a lot of people is because isn't just another formulaic action movie. I can't think of another movie where the bad guys win. I mean, I guess the bad guys get a small victory in TESB and AotC. But in Revenge, they actually win. The handsome protagonist doesn't defeat the dark lord, he becomes the dark lord's servant; he gets horribly mutilated and burned. His wife dies, and he believes that he killed her and their unborn child. He loses everything except his father figure. Except it's his father figure that caused him all of this torment. It stands on its own because it doesn't follow any formula and has what is probably an utterly unique outcome.

    • 1439 posts
    April 17, 2018 6:28 PM EDT
    Hey guys, apparently, the canon novelization of the Last Jedi has Luke call Rey....his niece. Thoughts?
    • 197 posts
    April 17, 2018 7:05 PM EDT

    Chris said: Hey guys, apparently, the canon novelization of the Last Jedi has Luke call Rey....his niece. Thoughts?

     

    a friend of mine said it was how he explained her presence to the caretakers on the island. She also taught me that movies trump all when it comes to canon (A lengthy and unasked-for lesson, I might add).  I guess it could mean something else, though, knowing Luke, some sort of subtext. And Kylo Ren’s obviously super trustworthy, right? But I’m one of those who was happy about Rey’s parentage. It made that kid at the end moving that broom using the force all the more poignant. So I hope it means nothing, and that what we think we know about her parentage is true. 

    • 1467 posts
    April 17, 2018 7:08 PM EDT

    Eh, I watched a video explaining it, but it was just what he said to the little creatures on the planet so they'd let Rey live there (rather than just some stranger). Nothing that interesting really, though it would've been funnier if I didn't know that and it was just Star Wars fucking with people. Well, really that's what it is, just with you know...logic behind it.