Remember when I said I would do weekly updates? Well that is true, but I decided to release the first update a bit early since I'm itching to hear your guys' feedback on this.

Update changes:

-Revamped the entire first draft. This time I went for a third-person PoV.

-Decided to change the title of the story. Currently I'm going with "Echo(es) of Summer"since it has a nice 'thriller' ring to it.

My apologies for only just popping in Kaiser, I did mean to comment earlier but I've been having real troubles with my internet lately and have barely been able to get onto the site for more than 10 minutes. Anyway, I absolutely love the chapter, everything is just excellently described and the whole thing kept me really gripped. 

I can't really think of anything else to say here Kaiser, it's a bloody brilliant story so far :D

[blockquote][b][url=/profile/Paws]Paws[/url] said:[/b] Ooh, some Assassin's Creed meets Hitman going on! Exciting stuff, especially the brainwashing hint and the music playing in the canis root tea-drinker's mind. Alinor with its crystal towers is perfectly PGE, much like for that, while the assassin himself makes the reader yearn for more info. (Sorry on mobile if this appears as a text wall). A couple of points on the critique area, "stuck up like a thumb" works, but more colloquially it is normally said "sticks out like a sore thumb." Truly a minor point, but thought I'd mention. That and "and he couldn’t ask for a better place more" could be "he couldn't ask for a better place"...? Back to the important stuff, Altmer, music, and numbers. Knowing your lore-mind, is that deeper than brainwashing? Like, the very song itself? If so, then I love that you have included some mathematics as is the Altmeri way. Subtle, again leaves me wanting more![/blockquote]

Yeah my version of Alinor is kinda based off Lis' Straag Rod's, but maybe a bit more liberal on the social life aspects. Numbers and music... they're almost practically the same if you strip them down to its basic form. I'm not going full meta on this story, but let's just say this concept already exists in TES lore, and I'm just expanding the idea.

For your critiques, I had problems using "sticks out like a sore thumb" because it sounds wonky when using past tense. For "and he couldn’t ask for a better place more", it just sounds more appropriate in my opinion.

Totally fair, Kasier :) Sorry if I said the wrong thing. Story is good, let me know wheen there's more.