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Guards: An appreciation topic

    • 233 posts
    June 19, 2017 9:25 PM EDT

    Guards. Guards, the ones who protect the towns with their lives. They have no magic; no Fus Ro Dah. They have no powers. The arsenal of the guards consists of their armor, and their sword, and their brains. The Guards never get enough credit for what they do. They heroically save the citizens they protect. They can take immense pain - evident from their tolerance of arrows in the knee region (it really hurts, try it) When a dragon burns Whiterun, who'll save you? The Dragonborn? Screw that guy, man. He's too busy accidentally hitting chicken and stealing cups. The Guards will protect you. 

    I created this thread on behalf of the guards. Share your moments were you saw a Guard, a simple man in simple armor, doing something heroic. Post your experiences, to give the Guards what they deserve.

    And if you can't, at least donate to the Arrow-In-The-Knee cause, to stop poor guards from being shot in their legs - everyone has the right to be an adventurer.

    This post was edited by Wulfhedinn at June 19, 2017 9:48 PM EDT
    • 39 posts
    June 19, 2017 11:24 PM EDT

    One of my favorite stories is a little hard to articulate. So, first of all, it was late so I was a bit slap happy. I was about to be heading to bed after selling all my extra loot. As I entered Whiterun, I cursed my luck as it was nighttime which meant the dreaded vampire spawn was likely (this was early in the game testing for one of my mental builds that I haven't put to paper yet). Of course, it was just Lydia, me, and a single guard versus 2 thralls and an armored master vampire. We actually took care of it pretty quickly. The fun part was at the end when it was just the master yet. Here I am trying to finish him off and the guard non-chalantly puts his battleaxe behind the vampire's head and proceeds to do one of the best vanilla kill-cams IMO. The repeated headbutts. He crushed that vampire scum all the way to Molag Bal. I might've burst out laughing but I have always respected those warriors since. #GuardLife

    • 233 posts
    June 20, 2017 12:13 AM EDT

    I created the topic, might as well give it a go!

    My favourite story comes through a playthrough as my current character, who coincedentally roleplays as a guard of Solitude. I was walking through Solitude one night when a dragon comes swooping down, burning and roaring and generally being a bit of a dickhead. The people are still out, and two get burned in the first few minutes. I raise my crossbow, but I'm out of arrows. Sceolang is sitting next to me. I reach for my normal bow - but no arrows either. My sword is pointless, and I have almost no magicka. The dragon screams fire at me, and sceolang suddenly is about to be burned to death. I can't move him - you know how follower's are. Suddenly, out of no where, a guard jumps into the flame, shooting his bow. He's instantly burned to death. Sceolang runs out of the way. The other guards form a protective shield over the dead body of their comrade, and they shoot the dragon down.

    later that night, I dragged the guard all the way to the place you burn King Olaf, and i roasted the guard on a pyre so he could go to Sovngarde as a true hero.


    This post was edited by Wulfhedinn at June 20, 2017 12:23 AM EDT
    • 523 posts
    June 20, 2017 11:13 AM EDT

    So I was werewolfing it up one night, going from settlement to settlement and tearing shit up. Coincidentally, I was also Thane of the Hold I was in (I think the Rift?). At a farmstead I was getting absolutely destroyed, I hadn't taken many werewolf perks and I was around mid-level. The mess hall must've served Weetabix or something because 3 guards were fearlessly bludgeoning me. As I died I imagined my character's body morphing back into their thane... And them absolutely cacking themselves. 'The Thane?! Oh shit, no one's gonna believe us. Quick quick hide the body!'

    Then I felt bad, and I didn't go on a rampage for months after because I felt bad.

    • 233 posts
    June 21, 2017 8:45 PM EDT

    That's good. That's very good.

    • 1464 posts
    June 22, 2017 6:55 PM EDT

    Guards are fine specimens of manhood, handsome and brave, sporting three-sided cock ticklers before The Village People made it a good look!