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The Breton Farm Girl from Cyrodiil - Part 32 is up

• Eviltrain

  
   

  May 29, 2012

  

  HIATUS:

  This message is a bit overdue but the Breton Farmgirl story is currently on hiatus. I actually have one more post in first draft that I haven't touched since prior to the holiday season. Busy with real life at the moment. I might get back to it.

  Tata for Now!

  Part 32 is up. I can imagine some different reactions to this post lying somewhere in the triangle of prurient, lascivious and disturbed. Hopefully I wrote something that speaks to something real and not something out of place.

  Alright, enjoy...

   

  Epilogue:

  Chapter 8:

  Chapter 7:

  Chapter 6:

  Chapter 5: Part 27,  Part 28,  Part 29,  Part 30,  Part 31,  Part 32

  Chapter 4: Part 23,  Part 24,  Part 25,  Part 26

  Chapter 3: Part 18,  Part 19,  Part 20,  Part 21,  Part 22

  Chapter 2: Part 13,  Part 14,  Part 15,  Part 16,  Part 17

  Chapter 1: Part 07,  Part 08,  Part 09,  Part 10,  Part 11,  Part 12

  Prologue-: Part 01,  Part 02,  Part 03,  Part 04,  Part 05,  Part 06
  

   

  *     *     *     *

  A preface to the story

  A young Breton girl follows her dream but loses her way down a twisted path. This is a riff on the Succubus Build by Joshua R. In playing out this tale, I went whole hog and tried to stick as close to TES lore as possible. In the end, the character will end up as a kind of proto-succubus.

  Character development, ie transformation stories, tend to hold my interest better not unlike Mason's Fallen Hero Build. In fact, it was after I read his build back in May that I decided to put fingers to keyboard and belt out the story that I had played over 3 weeks.

  The character hues rather closely to Joshua's build with the exception that I didnt' place any Perk Points into the Stealth/Sneak constellation. I discovered in a first play through as a Thief that I can be quite stealthy with just a handful of perk points in the Stealth tree. Plus, it wouldn't have fit her character anyway.

  This then is exclusively a mage type except the very first 2 perk points were placed in the speech constellation per JR's roleplay guideline. He didn't say to do that per se but it seemed appropriate and I wanted to create a slight handicap.

   

  *     *     *     *

   

  

  HIATUS:

  This message is a bit overdue but the Breton Farmgirl story is currently on hiatus. I actually have one more post in first draft that I haven't touched since prior to the holiday season. Busy with real life at the moment. I might get back to it.

  Tata for Now!

  Part 32 is up. I can imagine some different reactions to this post lying somewhere in the triangle of prurient, lascivious and disturbed. Hopefully I wrote something that speaks to something real and not something out of place.

  Alright, enjoy...

   

  Epilogue:

  Chapter 8:

  Chapter 7:

  Chapter 6:

  Chapter 5: Part 27,  Part 28,  Part 29,  Part 30,  Part 31,  Part 32

  Chapter 4: Part 23,  Part 24,  Part 25,  Part 26

  Chapter 3: Part 18,  Part 19,  Part 20,  Part 21,  Part 22

  Chapter 2: Part 13,  Part 14,  Part 15,  Part 16,  Part 17

  Chapter 1: Part 07,  Part 08,  Part 09,  Part 10,  Part 11,  Part 12

  Prologue-: Part 01,  Part 02,  Part 03,  Part 04,  Part 05,  Part 06
  

   

  *     *     *     *

  A preface to the story

  A young Breton girl follows her dream but loses her way down a twisted path. This is a riff on the Succubus Build by Joshua R. In playing out this tale, I went whole hog and tried to stick as close to TES lore as possible. In the end, the character will end up as a kind of proto-succubus.

  Character development, ie transformation stories, tend to hold my interest better not unlike Mason's Fallen Hero Build. In fact, it was after I read his build back in May that I decided to put fingers to keyboard and belt out the story that I had played over 3 weeks.

  The character hues rather closely to Joshua's build with the exception that I didnt' place any Perk Points into the Stealth/Sneak constellation. I discovered in a first play through as a Thief that I can be quite stealthy with just a handful of perk points in the Stealth tree. Plus, it wouldn't have fit her character anyway.

  This then is exclusively a mage type except the very first 2 perk points were placed in the speech constellation per JR's roleplay guideline. He didn't say to do that per se but it seemed appropriate and I wanted to create a slight handicap.

   

  *     *     *     *

   

• Eviltrain

  
   

  June 11, 2012

  "I'm beginning to really hate the Thalmor."

  I sat on this part 3 for 3 days trying to decide if I should even publish it. I never imagined the Count or the Aldmeri during my original play through because you know, I'm already in Skyrim and trying to figure out why I was in a wagon with strangers.

  The other thing was, with the introduction of yet another set of characters, I sat there wondering how f**king big was this backstory going to get? I'll probably find out about the same time the rest of you do.

  "I'm beginning to really hate the Thalmor."

  I sat on this part 3 for 3 days trying to decide if I should even publish it. I never imagined the Count or the Aldmeri during my original play through because you know, I'm already in Skyrim and trying to figure out why I was in a wagon with strangers.

  The other thing was, with the introduction of yet another set of characters, I sat there wondering how f**king big was this backstory going to get? I'll probably find out about the same time the rest of you do.

• Eviltrain

  
   

  June 13, 2012

  Prologue, part 4 was originally part 5. The original part 4 was going to be the confrontation between the Aldmeri Officiate and the Old Crone. But, then I realized I had no idea how I was going to resolve that little situation.

  I had simultaneously, written out another section (this one) showing the Old Crone's perspective right after Nephili left the house to run her errands. This section was almost a throw away though in the sense that I felt I had to write something from the teacher's perspective but maybe as a lead-in into the confrontation inside the Great Hall. Yes, I just contradicted the 1st paragraph but I'm discovering writing is like the WTF thread.

  Then last night, a possible outcome came to mind. Minutes later and in a back asswards kind of way, it dawned on me that I hadn't known what was going to happen between these two protagonists because I had not thought about their backstories and the kind of relationship Tarerane would have with the Empire and the Almeri.

  So, I wrote a whole thing about Tarerane's past life, written in the form of a dry bibliography, and then a follow up write up that focused on a Tarerane's actions prior to the White-Gold Concordat. And finally, I re-wrote the section I'm publishing today, a section that I would have been comfortable publishing sooner in it's previous incarnation.

  I'm glad I didn't.

  Prologue, part 4 was originally part 5. The original part 4 was going to be the confrontation between the Aldmeri Officiate and the Old Crone. But, then I realized I had no idea how I was going to resolve that little situation.

  I had simultaneously, written out another section (this one) showing the Old Crone's perspective right after Nephili left the house to run her errands. This section was almost a throw away though in the sense that I felt I had to write something from the teacher's perspective but maybe as a lead-in into the confrontation inside the Great Hall. Yes, I just contradicted the 1st paragraph but I'm discovering writing is like the WTF thread.

  Then last night, a possible outcome came to mind. Minutes later and in a back asswards kind of way, it dawned on me that I hadn't known what was going to happen between these two protagonists because I had not thought about their backstories and the kind of relationship Tarerane would have with the Empire and the Almeri.

  So, I wrote a whole thing about Tarerane's past life, written in the form of a dry bibliography, and then a follow up write up that focused on a Tarerane's actions prior to the White-Gold Concordat. And finally, I re-wrote the section I'm publishing today, a section that I would have been comfortable publishing sooner in it's previous incarnation.

  I'm glad I didn't.

• Eviltrain

  
   

  June 22, 2012

  Part 7: "Thunder-Cat's Hooooooo!"

  Part 7 was at one point on the chopping block. I have a very specific story arc in mind and I decided/learned that in order to keep the story from meandering, I needed to delete or avoid any story and exposition that didn't directly impact Nephili's mental and emotional progress.

  In many ways, part 7, is really just a transitional element, something to get my character from prologue and into the meet of chapter 1. Ultimately, I decided I needed to do this rather than just skip ahead to Helgen or after Helgen.

  Part 8: "Double rainbow! What does it mean?"

  Part 8 was where I started to face the fact that I was going to be, in some ways, regurgitating Bethesda's stories to some extent. To me, this is boring and not very mysterious to the readers. But, at the same time, the characters progress largely hinges on how the game impacted her as I played her through Skyrim. Basically, it's unavoidable.

  For the 1st DRAFT, I ended up typing out the introductory dialogue from the opening scene and pasting that into a narrative that largely stayed true to the opening scene we all know and love/hate. At first, I was going to use this as a jumping off point and get my story started further into the game. I was going to delete it. It wasn't until a bit later that I realized I could use it to help advance my character. Of course, I needed an angle to do it. I think I found one and I hope you guys find it surprising.

  Part 7: "Thunder-Cat's Hooooooo!"

  Part 7 was at one point on the chopping block. I have a very specific story arc in mind and I decided/learned that in order to keep the story from meandering, I needed to delete or avoid any story and exposition that didn't directly impact Nephili's mental and emotional progress.

  In many ways, part 7, is really just a transitional element, something to get my character from prologue and into the meet of chapter 1. Ultimately, I decided I needed to do this rather than just skip ahead to Helgen or after Helgen.

  Part 8: "Double rainbow! What does it mean?"

  Part 8 was where I started to face the fact that I was going to be, in some ways, regurgitating Bethesda's stories to some extent. To me, this is boring and not very mysterious to the readers. But, at the same time, the characters progress largely hinges on how the game impacted her as I played her through Skyrim. Basically, it's unavoidable.

  For the 1st DRAFT, I ended up typing out the introductory dialogue from the opening scene and pasting that into a narrative that largely stayed true to the opening scene we all know and love/hate. At first, I was going to use this as a jumping off point and get my story started further into the game. I was going to delete it. It wasn't until a bit later that I realized I could use it to help advance my character. Of course, I needed an angle to do it. I think I found one and I hope you guys find it surprising.

• Eviltrain

  
   

  June 27, 2012

  Part 9 was originally drafted as a character piece for Lydia. In fact, I have a completed part. It started with Lydia eating an apple in the marketplace and turned into her getting the low down on what was happening from Commander Caius. I didn't like it. I sat on it for 3 or 4 days and realized it was nothing but exposition with Nephili only coming into view in the last paragraph.

  This one I think cuts to the meat of Nephili's and Lydia's first meeting. It turned out to be WAAAY more antagonistic than in my original play through / original vision. Should make for some good times then...

  Part 9 was originally drafted as a character piece for Lydia. In fact, I have a completed part. It started with Lydia eating an apple in the marketplace and turned into her getting the low down on what was happening from Commander Caius. I didn't like it. I sat on it for 3 or 4 days and realized it was nothing but exposition with Nephili only coming into view in the last paragraph.

  This one I think cuts to the meat of Nephili's and Lydia's first meeting. It turned out to be WAAAY more antagonistic than in my original play through / original vision. Should make for some good times then...

• Eviltrain

  
   

  June 28, 2012

  For part 10, Clement Billhorn's wonderful story posts started to infiltrate my psyche and the tone of this post started to sound like his. After my first pass, I started making all the lines more sarcastic, observational, funnier (to me at any rate.) I got rid of most of the sarcasm later as I focused on making the assassin creepier.

  Seriously, read his stuff, it's good.

  For part 10, Clement Billhorn's wonderful story posts started to infiltrate my psyche and the tone of this post started to sound like his. After my first pass, I started making all the lines more sarcastic, observational, funnier (to me at any rate.) I got rid of most of the sarcasm later as I focused on making the assassin creepier.

  Seriously, read his stuff, it's good.

• Eviltrain

  
   

  June 29, 2012

  For part 11, I tried to focus mostly on showing two people with different view points about the same event. I'm figuring that I can make the cross talk that happens between these two might give me what I need in terms of story... later down the line.

  For part 11, I tried to focus mostly on showing two people with different view points about the same event. I'm figuring that I can make the cross talk that happens between these two might give me what I need in terms of story... later down the line.

• Eviltrain

  
   

  July 5, 2012

  Part 12 ended up being double sized. Just couldn't split it. This closes out Chapter 1 and the next will focus on Nephili making her way into and out of Winterhold. The way I set part 12 up... I'm not sure it works or not. It reads all right, I usually make sure of that (grammar, getting rid of sentences that sound odd, etc) but it's hard for more to say if this thing had any tension to it. Or at least enough for people to read to the end and feel satisfied. Oh well. Onto the next chapter.

  P.S. Thanks for reading you guys. Really, it's amazing how many knots I get in my stomach if I don't get any readers or reader reaction. 

  Part 12 ended up being double sized. Just couldn't split it. This closes out Chapter 1 and the next will focus on Nephili making her way into and out of Winterhold. The way I set part 12 up... I'm not sure it works or not. It reads all right, I usually make sure of that (grammar, getting rid of sentences that sound odd, etc) but it's hard for more to say if this thing had any tension to it. Or at least enough for people to read to the end and feel satisfied. Oh well. Onto the next chapter.

  P.S. Thanks for reading you guys. Really, it's amazing how many knots I get in my stomach if I don't get any readers or reader reaction. 

• Eviltrain

  
   

  July 11, 2012

  And... I didn't properly archive my random thoughts for Part 13. Ah well, if anyone's interested, they can read my brain barf for part 14...

  And... I didn't properly archive my random thoughts for Part 13. Ah well, if anyone's interested, they can read my brain barf for part 14...

• Eviltrain

  
   

  July 15, 2012

  Part 14 is finally done, Done, DONE! I'll put it this way, once I got to the College, I had to write a back story for 7 characters and locate on a timeline stretching back to Second Seed the happenings and actions of 10 characters just so I could write this damn post...

  Also, this post and the upcoming post 15 was hard to write from a "I want the readers to be excited" stand point. This thing went through at least a dozen drafts and the first one read more like a dry laundry list of events as discussed by the apprentices at the College. Hopefully what I published is a bit more exciting.

  Enjoy! (i hope...)

  Part 14 is finally done, Done, DONE! I'll put it this way, once I got to the College, I had to write a back story for 7 characters and locate on a timeline stretching back to Second Seed the happenings and actions of 10 characters just so I could write this damn post...

  Also, this post and the upcoming post 15 was hard to write from a "I want the readers to be excited" stand point. This thing went through at least a dozen drafts and the first one read more like a dry laundry list of events as discussed by the apprentices at the College. Hopefully what I published is a bit more exciting.

  Enjoy! (i hope...)