Skyrim Character Building » Discussions

Character Build: The Cabbage Farmer

Tags: #Character Build Shouts  #Character Build Illusionist  #Rank:Legendary  #Hall of Fame Build 
  • December 21, 2013

    The Cabbage Farmer

    “Darned dragons and bandits! I could tolerate the rough-housing, the stealing, the murder- but when you burn down a field of cabbages, you go too far. IT’S PAYBACK TIME.”


    This poor, disgruntled farmer just lost his cabbage patch to a big black dragon and has come to one conclusion: The dragon needs to die. An old student of the college of Winterhold, he pulls out the old spell books, packs some ingredients, and embarks on his journey to end the cabbage-killing menace.

    Sadly, the loss of his precious cabbages has unveiled a rather sadistic side of him. While he is more than happy to punch out a few teeth, he is just as content watching things kill each other. His take on poetic justice, I suppose? (In all honesty, I don't think he knows what poetic justice really is...)


    This build exists for a single purpose: achieve 100% shout cooldown and enjoy every second of it as a disgruntled commoner. No weapons, no armor, (mostly) no crafting - just pure, unadulterated sadistic Dragonborn fun-time.


    Many long years ago, you, a poor farm boy, had a dream. That dream was to create a world with only the most perfect cabbages. Cabbages that were moist, smooth, and void of all impure non-cabbage flavor.


    Oh, that dream you dreamed...

    So when you became of age you begged your father to send you off to the College of Winterhold, where you could potentially use magic to realize your dream.

    Your father, instead, called for a priestess to possibly pry your young mind from Sheogorath's grasp.

    Little did he know, he had unintentionally created the perfect opportunity for you to escape, and make it to Winterhold on your own. Huzzah! Even though it takes a grown man a week to get to Winterhold from Riften, it took you, poor cabbage boy, two years. Perhaps there was an ounce of truth to your father's fears...

    No matter. Your magic prowess was enough to get you enrolled in the college, where you worked day and night to uncover the secrets of true cabbage farming. Until you were kicked out for being a, quote-unquote, "LOONY". Spirits undampened, you worked hard on your spells and alchemy and eventually earned enough to buy land to begin the glorious process. It had its ups and downs, but you were on the path to success! You could feel it!

    And then... it happened.

    A noise in the night- the smell of fire! Leaping from your bed you ran out to the fields, praying to the nine, the eight, the seven, the six and who-ever-else that your cabbages were in tact.

    But it was too late...

    A black shadow flies away, a remorseless gleam in his glowing red eyes...

    Your dreams were destroyed, your heart was aching... You've had your share of bandits and evil, but never have you witnessed such brutality.

    The final straw had been strawed. You marched back into the house, grabbed what you could, and set out to destroy the creature that ruined everything...

    Time to say hello to Little Bo-PEEVED

    If only we all were so passionate...

    Race: Any. You're just some cabbage  obsessed  connoisseur- you could be anyone! (do note, however, that Dunmer have boosts in every single stat)

    Equipment: Any Mage's Robes (Arch-Mage for better performance, but it doesn't fit roleplay so you could potentially go with Master Robes of Illusion instead), Jester's/Cicero's Boots, Morokei, and an Amulet of Talos.

    I can hear it now: "What? No Enchanted Rings?". PFT! Rings. You're a hermitted farmer who raves on about cabbages all day- what would you know about jewels? You have no use for jewelry, outside of a symbol of your faith. Rings can snag and rip cabbage leaves - a BIG no-no, but a necklace cannot harm the dear leafy perfection.

    Although this build is meant to be weaponless, please note that the Wabbajack is perfectly acceptable to have as a side, but that's it. No other weapons are permissible. You can't even punch a dude unless it is required.


    Perks can be found HERE


    Sneak - Sneak is a part of this set mostly to set up elaborate traps, which will be addressed later. It's also useful at lower levels when you want to avoid people who actually fight normally.

    Illusion - Illusion spells are perfect for this subterfuge gameplay. Frenzy and Fear are you main tools, with a bit of Invisibility on the side. Illusion is a large part of gameplay for this build, so Vampirism is totally welcomed. Roleplay-wise it makes sense, too - it could've taken you a long, LONG time to discover the secrets to growing the perfect cabbages.

    AlterationYou're weaponless, you're armorless- its a no-brainer. Alteration is for survival, because sometimes Shadow Warrior and/or Invisibility just don't cut it. 

    Destruction - Runes are great, no? Especially those new Dragonborn runes! Ash Rune and Frenzy Rune will be your friends, as will that wonderful new spell Whirlwind Cloak. Shock Cloak is fun and all, but Whirlwind Cloak sends things flying - sometimes off cliffs!

    AlchemyAlchemy is here for three reasons: roleplay, health, and for that glorious Fortify Restoration. Alchemy is how your angry farmer will achieve 100% shout cooldown for this build. If you do not wish to use Fortify Restoration potions to achieve 100% shout cooldown, so be it. It's your game, in the end. You can go about it alternate ways, and void Alchemy altogether should you want to. It isn't completely necessary, just easier.


    Stats: MP:HP:St - 3/2/0


    Combat... if you can call it that

    Whoops! A minor tactical error...

    Gameplay is simple: you sneak on the scene, assess the threat, and set up traps for subterfuge and pain. 

    Your disgruntled cabbage man isn't exactly a man of steel, is he? Make sure he has plenty of space to hide, and always strike to kill. Although it would be preferable at times to sneak away without causing a ruckus, sometimes it's unavoidable, and when it is you need to milk every ounce of sadistic pain you can out of the poor suckers. 

    A quick and easy way to dispatch your enemies is to corral them. Set up a quick Frenzy Rune, use Throw Voice, and watch the magic unfold. Then when the last one is standing, battered and bruised, you either zap him with a new Shock Rune that you created while the fighting was going on, or you simply shout him to death. Your call.

    When in a situation where the enemy is more spread out, or in a more elaborate map, feel free to use Fear and Frenzy to herd the cattle to their doom. Either pick them off one by one, in small groups, or get as many of them together as you can and watch the slaughter unfold.

    However, please note that the above gameplay is for humans and humanoids. Dwemer machines, Dragon Priests, and Dragons do not fall for that Illusion nonsense, so you have to get creative... and sometimes downright stupid. Dragon shouts will be your friends in these situations. Ebonyflesh and Whirlwind Cloak yourself, and then unleash hell. Shout left, shout right, shout up and down and every which way. Just remember to have a back-up plan if overwhelmed so that you can either escape or recuperate. 


    Special Moves

    Tactical Repositioning - Whirlwind Cloak + Slow Time + Whirlwind Sprint

    Sometimes you just can't do it. And that's ok! Slow Time and get out of there. Whirlwind Cloak sends anyone in your way off their feet, giving you more time to escape, and Whirlwind Sprint gets you out fast if you need to go very far very fast.

    Corral - Sneak + Frenzy Rune + Throw Voice

    Like a deranged farmer with livestock, you set them up to kill each other. (Cock fighting, I suppose?)

    The Classic Sneak + Throw Voice + a cliff + Unrelenting Force

    One of the few builds I've seen on this site that actually uses this as a tactic. Nostalgic, good fun- what more could you want out of a totally serious fight to the death?

    Sharknado -“Corral” + Cyclone + Unrelenting Force + Popcorn

    Hilarious. In every sense of the word. They're usually too angry to see the tornado, but when the do notice just Fus Ro Dah them into it. When I first tried this I actually shot the Chateau Romani that I was drinking out of my nose, and I'm not even sorry.

    MY CABBAGES!! Ebonyflesh + Whirlwind Cloak + Marked for Death + Dismay + Storm Call + Whirlwind Sprint

    You are become death. You came in like a wrecking ball. You something iconic related to danger here. Cast Ebonyflesh, Whirlwind Cloak, mark your enemies for death, make them cry, send a storm out to get them, and use Whirlwind Sprint to keep them from running away. Literally blocking their every exit with fear, they WILL die in absolute terror. 

    The best revenge tactic.


    And so, armed to the teeth with mind tricks and more, our farmer goes forth to defeat evil in the name of a dream.


    You go, farmer guy. Follow your dreams.

  • Member
    December 21, 2013
    You included the cabbage merchant from Avatar.....insant like!
  • Member
    December 21, 2013

    This is.....

    strangely brilliant... 

  • Member
    December 21, 2013

    A very enjoyable read. At the end of the day, who cares if a build is goofy or not if you had fun reading it!

  • Member
    December 21, 2013

    Lol that was a good one. +1

  • Member
    December 21, 2013


  • Member
    December 21, 2013
    Sniff, this was... Sniff.... Beautiful. It will remain up there with "the Real Gourmet" "the Hold Guard" and the ever popular "punchcat" Cabbage Farmer, glory awaits you. I would suggest naming it more memorable though The Cabbage Tamer The Voice of The Cabbages The Wrathguard of Cabbage You get the idea :) +1
  • Member
    December 21, 2013
    You need to change the title to Character Build:... And maybe lose the long title, just call it The Farmer, then write that in the actual build.
  • Member
    December 21, 2013
    I can't stop laughing now..
  • December 21, 2013
    I am literally grinning ear-to-ear. I'm so happy you guys like it :')