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Character build: The Bureaucrat

    • 2 posts
    December 7, 2015 7:45 AM EST

    We all know how being a politician may corrupt a man into its meanest and horriblest part. Only a few can withstand the power they have over the nation, and this guy just didn't make it. 

    If you are looking for a selfish charcater whose life is based on earning money in order to live the best possible, with almost zero combat skills but a lot of enemies (especially politicals) you clicked the right link.


    "Racism is stupid. But just keep those slimy Argonians away from me."

    Since your primary skill is going to be Speech, I suggest playing as an Imperial, also for their racial bonus that doubles the gold you find; but if you like the idea of a Nord liar, or a Khajit drug lord, I promise I won't send any assassins in your home. 


    "Power wears out who doesn't have it"

    Given that the average politician can't actually run and is incredibly fragile, and can't even use magic, it's only up to you what to choose. Illusion calm spells will help you when dealing with powerful enemies (you may RP it as some kind of charisma), or maybe you're just very lucky and can escape from every assassination attempt.

    Skills & Perks

    "The inventor of the scream (black metal vocal) is a great benefactor. It allows to sing even at men who are out of tune, as long as they have good lungs."

    Here's what your social gold-driven leech is going to look like at level 25 (I invested a lot of points in Sneak, but if you prefer to kill enemies instead of passing them you can remove some from Stealth and put them in the right/Assassin part. You may not need the Fence perk that much, but when it comes in handy you won't regret it.)

    You are going to use bribery to "convince" guards they were not looking at you when you stole that valuable item, and also to have better prices when you sell it to a shop.

    You will need Sneak in order to avoid combat with both enemies and guards in the earlier stages of game and to steal items.


    "Armor? What IS armor? I've just put a tax on it!"

    You will not use any armor, because it is heavy and cumbersome. Instead, wear some fine clothes (I found out that the Nazeem-type fits well, but is your choice what to wear).

    Now let's talk about weapons. Have you ever heard of a greatsword-wearing politician? The only weapon you can use is a dagger. Just pick the most expensive you see at the blacksmith's and keep it in plain sight: it's a status symbol.

    If you are used to cheat all your equipment with console commands while Imperials are trying to execute you, you may put on Ulfric's gag for a better RP until you get free: a politician's most feared weapon  is his mouth.

    Combat Mechanics

    "In a book, the assassin is always found. In real life, not so often."

    Followers are going to be a crucial part of this build. You can't afford to have a bounty on your head for an omicide -"this is not good for business" as Brynjolf once said- so the best thing you can do is grab either an innocent civilian or a hardened mercenary and send him to the slaughter.

    As you enter Riverwood, help Faendal with the lady and pick him. He's a skilled marksman and nobody will miss him if he falls in battle, leaving even a nice inheritance to you. But his lawfulness is too radicated to steal or kill people: you need a mercenary.Earn (or steal) ad much as 500 gold, send him back to home (if he's still alive) and pick the Dunmer lady in Whiterun. Her first job will be eliminating Faendal, covering in part the expense. (NOTE: Since the followers are NPCs, if you're hidden THEY are hidden, too. This opens up a lot of opportunities for stealing and killing politcal enemies without having troubles!)

    If you see somebody that looks suspicious, just send the follower first. If he gets attacked, hide the best you can and wait for the fight to end. Then go forward. Buy the best weapons and armor for your mercenary, because your life depends on how many foes can your guard defeat before being brutally slaughtered by them. 

    Making Money

    "He had a very strong family sense. He was, in fact, more than bigamous."

    Earning honest money means work hard as a farmer. You are not a farmer, thus you don't need to work like one of these cabbage-eating slaves. This is your mantra: do no work! Faendal won't have any complains taking every last potato plant from Nazeem's precious farm, and selling them back to Severio Pelagia, or emptying barrels and carrying their content until he gets overcumbered. He isn't your friend: he's your serf.

    As you get a mercenary, things will be ready for the next level.

    As long as you are hidden, you can send him to steal valuable items even under the shopkeeper's eyes without a single bounty! This applies also for most of Thieves Guild's jobs, that you want to do because you will soon bribe guards to cancel your crimes in any of the capitals.


    Since you can't rule a city, the closer to a Jarl you are, the better it is. Becoming a Thane will improve your social status, buying a home will allow you to hide contraband or loot without suspects, and getting a Housecarl will improve your lifespan. What more can you wish?

    The Civil War is a perfect opportunity to become a noble either in Solitude or in Windhelm. No matter which side you choose, wait for your forces to rule the area and only then complete the objectives.

    Dawnguard? What is a Dawnguard? Nobody likes ugly Orcs that spam their recruiting messages, nobody knows them but everybody hates them. If you side with them (being a vampire? If guards get the information you'll be dead) is just for the HUGE castle they own.

    Main Quest. You have very poor knowledge of languages -you barely speak English, since you're in Skyrim- and Dovahzul is too complicated to learn. Those guys in High Hrothgar maybe have the patience, but you don't. Only remembering "fus" is too much for your neurons. So don't shout, just speak.

    This is the Italian First Minister (Matteo Renzi) trying to speak English, so you can imagine what your Dovahzul may look like.


     This said, you are free to do whatever you want -you're a bureaucrat! You are above the laws, you can kill someone and bribe the guards to erase your bounty, you can enslave farmers to earn money and if someone gets angry you'll let your "lawyer" talk with him, you can build a majestic house and store in the basement drugs and weapons, you can force your personal slave to steal pretty much everything and you can take the bread from a poor's hands without feeling guilty when you sell it back to him at double price. 

    Some funny stuff to do may include:

    • Killing Nazeem as a political enemy
    • Getting in prison, escape and erase the bounty. It was a miscarriage of justice.
    • Owning Fort Dawnguard as your home without letting Isran know it
    • Own a secret (and illegal) farm of valuable mushrooms, fishes, plants etc. in the wilderness
    • Giving gold to a beggar (public consense), then taking it back as it gets darker
    • Keeping Faendal alive as your serf in what used to be Nazeem's farm
    • Adopting a child and spoiling him with everything he wants. Doing so will allow you to have a worthy heir.

    Boring End Notes that nobody reads

    This was my first build. Since I'm not English (but still I'm better than Renzi in speaking it) I can't ensure that my ortography and syntax are flawless, so if your eagle eye spots any errors let me know!

    I wanted not to create the ultimate warrior, or thief, or whatever it is- but just a character for having funny moments that doesn't kill everyone and doesn't pickpocket clothes off people, and one day I tought: what if a modern politician was teleported into Skyrim? And here you are. I'm not the best writer in the world, but I hope you to enjoy this build at least as much as I did.

    • 321 posts
    December 7, 2015 7:53 AM EST

    Well...uh when I looked at the build title,I was hoping for a "cloak and dagger manipulater" type of build.You kinda lack a perk spread and some pictures.Overall it's a good (and interesting) idea but needs a bit of work.

    • 2 posts
    December 7, 2015 7:57 AM EST

    Yeah, it definitely needs some work. At higher levels, one may advance Illusion or Sneak, depending on the play style, I just tried to make it as versatile as possible.

    • 411 posts
    December 7, 2015 11:12 AM EST
    This belongs in the character building group. Move this.