My good reader,
First and foremost, please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Markus Blackwell, and all throughout my life in Tamriel I have enjoyed a plethora of noteworthy adventures -- such is the customary lifestyle of a master thief like myself. To be perfectly honest, I feel neither shame nor guilt in outright admitting my profession of choice; it is a life that has served me well, and I have no obligation to lie about it whatsoever. True, there is always the obligatory eye of the law to be concerned about, but really... what is an eye to one who can disappear completely if he so chooses? Nay, I have written this document as a means of recording my most memorable experiences as a man living outside of the law, stealing from nobility and claiming even the most heavily guarded treasures. For I am no mere pickpocket stealing from the average middle-class citizen... no, my friend, you have the honor of reading straight from the written words of the most infamous outlaw in the history of Skyrim: the Black Phantom.
Now surely you've at least heard what the guardsmen say? "A flash of shadow, and he's gone... and so are your valuables." I've grown rather fond of that saying. Yes, throughout my many years of high-profile larceny, I've made quite a name for myself as a thief; I attribute this mainly to my personal outlook on the act of stealing in general. If you'd allow me to indulge myself for a moment, I should like to share my opinion on the matter; as far as I'm concerned, any fool can simply pick up an ax and mug a hapless nobleman on the road. It'd be even simpler just to sever his head and take whatever's on his person! But does this make you a thief? Far from it. For this is not the work of a thief, but a bandit... scum of the criminal underworld, the lot of them. Undisciplined, unrefined, and completely lacking any sort of talent whatsoever. Imbeciles such as these are nothing more than simple-minded thugs that serve no purpose but to give proper thieves a bad name (just ask Mjoll the Lioness, in Riften... I swear, that woman can't even tell the bleedin' difference!). For an individual to call his or her self a proper thief, the rules (in my eyes at least) are as follows:
1. Never murder an innocent person just to claim your prize; a trinket can be replaced, but a life cannot. If you cannot steal without whetting your blade with innocent blood, then I suggest you either seek out the Dark Brotherhood or ply your trade as a simpering bandit!
2. Never steal from the poor; this is a more universal rule, put into place by the finest thief in the history of Tamriel, the Grey Fox of Cyrodiil. The poor and impoverished citizens of Skyrim barely have enough money to live off of -- if anything we should be giving to them, not taking from them.
3. Never steal from the dead; the deceased are to be reverently honored, not desecrated. Any valuables buried alongside of their bodies are to remain with them; after all, there is no honor in stealing from those who cannot defend their most valuable possessions.
4. Never get caught; whether or not you're successfully apprehended by the authorities is irrelevant. If you are caught in the act of stealing or trespassing, it means that you need more practice before pulling off whatever heist you had attempted. If you've set off the alarm, your prize is no more significant than anything else lying around; it is not truly won unless you've stolen it silently.
5. Never mistake tomb raiding for larceny; yes, the myriad of tombs and temples all across Skyrim are brimming with ancient treasures ripe for the picking. And yes, you are free to take from them whatever you can find... but what is the point of calling it "stealing" if no form of authority objects to you taking it?
Now some might call me mad for having such a complicated outlook on thievery; all things considered, you'll be depriving someone of their possessions no matter what you do. And yes, this is very true; but the difference here is a matter of skill. Truthfully, anyone can steal something. We can all pick things up, can we not? But if the item in question belongs to another person, and you do not have permission to be taking it, does that not put you in mortal danger if the owner sees what you are doing? Now compare that scenario to what would happen if you took the same item... but without the owner ever being aware of the act. Quite a difference, isn't it? And what if we took things one step further -- and stole, say, the Jagged Crown, the Staff of Magnus, Auriel's Shield, or the Crown of Barenziah... right under the nose of the Empire? Or even the very gods themselves? Is that not far more credible than beating a merchant into submission and running off with his coin purse? I certainly think so.
One of my favorite examples of this sort of thing can be read from a book called "Purloined Shadows", wherein a master thief -- Emer Dareloth, presumably (and if you've no idea of who that is, I suggest you do your research) -- managed to deceive the mistress of murk herself: Nocturnal, the Daedric Prince of mystery and darkness. For not only did Dareloth manage to steal from a god and live to tell the tale, but it was his legendary feat that began the legacy of the Grey Fox himself, for what he stole from Nocturnal was none other than her very cowl! That's right -- it was Emer Dareloth who first donned that infamous mask, and adopted the persona that every self-respecting thief on Nirn aspires to be like! And he did so without the use of mugging, or making senseless noise -- rather, he operated as a professional. Ruthless, yes, and I certainly don't suggest imitating that little stunt he pulled with his partner, but he accomplished his feat regardless.
Well, that concludes my perspective on the art of larceny. I would surely tell more but I really must be off; as of this writing, I've prepared to heist the recently-opened Dwemer Museum in Markarth. Its most famous exhibit, an authentic dwarven crown, is said to be immensely valuable, to say nothing of the thing's history. And so, my good reader, I bid you farewell... for the moment.
~Yours in the shadows,
Markus Sergius Blackwell
