Damon Kaine
Now i've been in some pretty hairy situations before but this one really bites, (Pardon my pun). Yet, the Irony is not lost on me, which is why when I was faced with the executioner I couldn't help but chuckle a little. A vampire getting beheaded? That's just way too old fashioned. Brings me back to the days I ran with Clan Berne back in Morrowind. I was so engrossed in my thoughts I dismissed the Looming Black shape flying over the Imperial tower to be just a large bird. Until of course it landed on said tower. Now, I am in no way the oldest Vampire on Nirn. Hell, i'm not even the oldest vampire I know, but in my two hundred and thirty-eight years on Tamriel, I have never once seen a dragon. And i've been places!
You know what my first emotion was though? Indignation. Yep, Because for some twisted reasoning on my part, I was actually offended by the sheer size of this creature. Which I find funny because at the time, I was kneeling in foul, blood spattered mud, positioned quite awkwardly over the headless corpse of some Nord fellow, and garbed in an EXTREMELY filthy Tunic of sackcloth. I could actually feel the ticks and fleas burrowing into my skin, then feeling them borrow out after having a taste of vampire blood which has the texture of... well, lukewarm clay. So not my most prideful moment.
Through all this, My dear executioner was still going to lop off ma' noggin. He was very determined to do his job! Had to respect that.
Thankfully my ally-at-the-moment pet dragon screamed at him and a torrent of cold, rotting Deer-smelling wind blasted him out of the way, and me off of the chopping block. Literally. Dazed, but thankful to be alive, uh, dead... Un-alive? No, undead, that's it. Anyway, thankful to be undead, I scramble to my feet and book it to the tower across the way, hoping to find shelter. Inside there are already several of the other prisoners, some appear to be badly wounded. My gaze lingers on the sizable pool of blood resting at their feet but I shake my head of it. The door slams behind me as two of the Nords exchange questions and exclamations. Not waiting for them to turn to me, I sprint up the stairs, finding another Nord squatting in the debris of a section of the roof which had caved in. Suddenly The wall to my right Explodes as my not-so-much-an-ally-now pet dragon rammed into it and released a river of fire, scalding my face, but also killing the ticks and fleas residing in my tunic so I guess I can't Complain. It must have thought we had been killed or injured because it ceased its attack and flew off to kill/maim the imperials, grabbing the soldiers and tossing them like rag dolls into the sky. Looking to the ground I see the Nord that had been among the wreckage was now not looking so hot, or rather, he was. VERY hot. As in: not so much a person than a steaming pile of bones and ash.
Not waiting to be asked whether I like my skin rare or well done, I vault through the gaping hole in the wall and onto the Thatched roof of the building next to the tower. from there I look out on the scene before me: Most of the buildings were on fire and many of their residents were strewn about on the ground, dead or dying. However, a contingent of Imperial soldiers were still fighting the dragon, albeit poorly. The arrows seemed to bounce off the beast's armor and their firebolts didn't have much of an effect either.
Giving a Salutary Flick of my wrist, (Which didn't turn out as impressive as I thought as my hands were still bound) I jumped from the house to the cliff adjacent to it, and from there, rock climbed around the stone tower (also not as impressive thanks to before mentioned condition), then jumped to the ground on the other side, Rolling as I struck the soil.
I cast about for something to cut the leather bindings on my wrists until I found a jagged rock. After about five minutes frantically changing between awkwardly trying to cut the leather and throwing my head up to the sky to see if I was about to become Vampire à la mode, I sighed and shook my head. Then I deftly cut through the binding using my fangs. Jumping to my feet, I sprinted around the Wall staying low and heading north.
Several hundred Yards away and in the shelter of some Pine trees, I stopped and looked back on the Black column of smoke rising above the battleground. I gave a wide grin, crossed my arms, Looked up at the marauding dragon and said:
"Dragon! You will always remember this as the day that you almost Caught Damon Kai-" But was stopped short as an Arrow thudded into the tree inches from my right ear. taking a deep breath, I turned around to face the three bandits who were brandishing their weapons menacingly.
"Just... one moment. That's all I ask. To have one moment to be proud of myself."
"You'll be so much easier to rob once your dead!" says the one with the warhammer.
"Hang on, does it look like I'm carrying copious amounts of gold? where Am I hiding it? in these rags? or do you just like this shirt? cause you can have it, seriously. In fact-" before I could finish however, I had to duck from another arrow as it whizzed past where my head had been. "WOULD YOU STO- Yikes!" the bandit with the warhammer charged me and swung it at my head. I side stepped and punched him just below his cheekbone.
Now I would like to say that I used the skills I have acquired over the years to disarm and incapacitate all three of the bandits, stripped them of their armor and weapons, took their gold, and looted their camp.
I would like to say that, because that is exactly what I did. so, feeling much more confidant than I did a few hours ago, I marched down the cobblestone road toward what I gathered was the direction of Whiterun, one of the main Nordic cities, and intent on finding somebody to eat.
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