Here's a suggestion for you. When you deal with someone's thoughts or whispers try using ‘Italics’.
Here is an example.
And Charon had come to take that jewel from the men that held the throne, men that ignored the bloody hands that crafted such luxuries and symbols of power. ‘If men cannot respect their history, they still must accept it’. Charon thought making his way up the steps towards the cathedral.
Have a look at this section. It don’t quite read right.
The eye on the side of the impact looked glazed over, Charon assumed he was blind in it. It was restrained hit on the part of the king’s brother.
I only found a few minor errors and fixed them. Just a case of ‘your’s’ used incorrectly.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Looking forwards to seeing it posted.
Here's a suggestion for you. When you deal with someone's thoughts or whispers try using ‘Italics’.
Here is an example.
And Charon had come to take that jewel from the men that held the throne, men that ignored the bloody hands that crafted such luxuries and symbols of power. ‘If men cannot respect their history, they still must accept it’. Charon thought making his way up the steps towards the cathedral.
Have a look at this section. It don’t quite read right.
The eye on the side of the impact looked glazed over, Charon assumed he was blind in it. It was restrained hit on the part of the king’s brother.
I only found a few minor errors and fixed them. Just a case of ‘your’s’ used incorrectly.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Looking forwards to seeing it posted.