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I Declare a Rhyming War...

  • July 12, 2017

    Deleted this because I felt it was inappropriate (this is smut, no way around it), reposted (after taking the opportunity to edit it to be even more explicit, nyeh heh heh) at Phil's request. Blame him!! And Karver-jo started it with his talk of crotches, knuckles and pleasure, how else am I supposed to respond?!

     

    Oh, and prepare to have your eyes scoured.

     

     

     

    Wagon thieves and twisted riddles

    Resolve them I cannot, for my mind is a muddle

    Uncovered my position, Karver-jo did, and pinned me down rough

    His coarse hands were so virile and tough

     

    Excited as a schoolboy, he was by my little tunnel

    Moving like a piston, he did pound and pummel

     

    But you, good Lorc, went and exhausted yourself rather quickly

    Were the tales of Orsimer stamina mere fabrications?

    Your collection of coarse hairs was far too prickly

    I hope my next target uses more lubrication

     

    My plan was to assassinate you in the dulled state of afterglow

    But you saw through the facade and dodged my fatal blow

    No matter, a Shadeclaw's tactics of many alternatives comprises

    You shall still die afore the morning sun rises

     

    You have noticed, yes, the festering gash on your cheek?

    Any hour now, and the fever of tetanus will reach its peak

    You do not truly think I would let my blade rust of negligence?

    Still, I freely admit that I underestimated your intelligence.

     

    Farewell, Karver-jo! This short night is one I will forever treasure

    Go to your grave with the remaining tingles of our exquisite pleasure

     

    I see bystanders gawping, staring at this depraved sight in shock and horror

    To you I toss my hair and smirk: what did you expect of me, the folly of honour?

     

    Ahn, still I sigh and shudder

    Feeling his viselike grip, his touch branded on the flesh of my hips

    But now if it's not too much bother

    Could one of you lend me a handkerchief, to wipe his sticky essence from my lips?

  • Member
    July 12, 2017

    Harrow said:

    ...

    Dude! This is likely the most awesomely wrong thing I've read in a fair while :D You're gonna get me such a bollocking, but fuuuuck it, damn it's funny!

  • Member
    July 13, 2017
    I never knew poetry could be so... erotic. XD Phil's enjoying this too much while I'm... well currently I'm just... disturbed. :/
  • July 13, 2017

    KaiserSoSay said: I never knew poetry could be so... erotic. XD Phil's enjoying this too much while I'm... well currently I'm just... disturbed. :/

    Yeah, well...I´m outta here. Forever!

  • Member
    July 13, 2017
    I'm inspired! Harrow's raised the bar now. Erotic poetry is imminent, you have been warned :p In all seriousness, being able to express is a good thing. In most cases.
  • Member
    July 13, 2017

    Meli said:

    A little cryptic, points awarded for to anyone who works out even one line:

     

    Rhyme, rhyme? Sounds more like whine 

    Whine, whine, need more time 

    Time, time, to draw the line 

    Line, line, but still a crime 

    Crime, crime but quite sublime 

    Sublime, sublime, yet oh so fine 

    Fine, fine I wrote a rhyme deep down in Steamscorch Mine

     

    For some strange reason, Phil told me to post it ;-P

     

    Ok, I've been stewing on this all night. The only thing I can guess at is that the following means Moon Sugar:..? If so, then the entire piece falls into place :D


    Crime, crime but quite sublime 

    Sublime, sublime, yet oh so fine

  • Member
    July 13, 2017

    Awwwooo 'Tis I wandering around

    Yep, the sites faithful hound

    I've read the poems from SinJin and more

    Read a few where I could have swore

     

    Although we always reach new heights, 

    Lets keep it to the ground

    Be wary of the Bad Wolf of the Blog's bite

    Tread softly, lest you make a sound....

     

     

     

  • Member
    July 13, 2017

    Sotek said:

    Awwwooo 'Tis I wandering around

    Yep, the sites faithful hound

    I've read the poems from SinJin and more

    Read a few where I could have swore

     

    Although we always reach new heights, 

    Lets keep it to the ground

    Be wary of the Bad Wolf of the Blog's bite

    Tread softly, lest you make a sound....

     

     

     

    Loud and clear, boss :) 

  • Member
    July 13, 2017

    Tread softly, says the scaled wolf

    As if we'd listen to such a thing. 

    To you, who would cast us out 

    And intimidate with your bite,

    Please, we'll get you with our combined might.

  • Member
    July 13, 2017

    Cast someone out? Never!

    Too many maws to feed.

    A quick swipe here, a quick bite there,

    Then we'll relax and feed!

     

    Watch the bloddied puddle

    See it grow in size

    A silly wolf played at Alpha

    He should have been more wise