The Elder Scrolls Online » Discussions

Tenebrous and Friends in ESO #1

Back to Topics
This topic has been closed.
  • Member
    May 19, 2018

    Tenebrous and Friends in ESO: The First Adventure

    Ian S. McClure


    Tenebrous: Hey guys! So, this thread will be a little experiment of mine. Similar to my on-hold Travels thread, this’ll be a totally sarcastic “guide” to the storylines of ESO; chiefly, the Daggerfall Covenant quests and the Main Quests. How is this different from the Travels of old, you ask? Well, allow me to-


    Dahra Civom: When do I kill people? Or drink rum?


    Tene: Damn it, Dahra! I’m trying to introduce the audience to how things will work.


    Dahra: Well, excuse me, Mr. Omnipotent. I’m stuck in some boat, unable to move, because you’ve trapped me in…


    Tene: Character menus.


    Dahra: Yeah, that! Why’d you have to create me as an alcoholic!?


    Tene: Dramatic effect, my dear. Anyhoo, as I’m sure you’ve all noticed, my snarky commentary is augmented by my own in-game character! She has a personality, backstory-


    Dahra: A massive thirst for rum…


    Tene: And that, yes. Mechanics-wise, she’s a Redguard StamSorc who I hope to have specced for group content.


    Dahra: ...What.


    Tene: All part of the game, don’t worry about it. We’ll earn gold! Glory! Power, even! And we’ll save the world, to boot!


    Dahra: OK, is there rum and/or murder?


    Tene: Of course.


    Dahra: grins in a troubling fashion


    Tene: This ought to be fun...



    Tene: Right, time to introduce how I plan to structure this. In a deviation from the Travels format, I plan on being a bit more organized with this. Therefore, this is the plan:


    Opening Commentary: Here, we simply have a maybe-relevant conversation between myself and Dahra (who is also me, kind of…), covering anything from previous events to lore to what I had for dinner last night.


    This Episode, on T&F: This part is where I introduce what the next two sections will cover; usually the Quest(s) we did, but sometimes other stuff like exploration or dungeons. This won’t have any comments from Dahra.


    Events Recap: This is the equivalent of the text bodies from Travels, where we snark our way through the events of our Quests and stuff. This’ll be less of us conversing and more like running commentary (think a written Let’s Play), with captioned screenshots sprinkled throughout.


    Gallery: Finally, we have additional screenshots taken during the events, as well as other images relevant to the content. Mostly.


    So, let’s see how this goes, shall we? Oh, have an image of Dahra:

  • Member
    May 19, 2018
    Creative and refreshing, this should be good!
  • Member
    May 23, 2018

    Tenebrous: Yo, Dahra. I got a question for you.


    Dahra Civom: ...Ian, you’re some kind of powerful being from a higher realm of existence, who literally created me. Why can’t you answer it yourself?


    Tene: Oh, come on. A bit of rhetorical discussion is good for you! Now then. What do you think happens when a vampire drinks the blood of a skooma addict? Does he/she get high?


    Dahra: Well, seeing how they’re not really alive, I’d assume no. They don’t have any way of digesting it. Or however that shit works. I’m a drunkard, a mugger, a killer, and I’ve streaked through a temple, but no way am I touching drugs… Uh, anyways, my answer is no, they do not.


    Tene: But there are records of vampires that can be poisoned. Plus they can drink potions fine.


    Dahra: I’m no alchemist, but don’t potions work with some magical shit in the ingredients? Hell, maybe poisons work the same way, f*ck if I know.


    Tene: There are also vampires immune to poison, though. Maybe it depends on the breed or something.


    Dahra: Or, maybe—just maybe—Molag Bal is f*cking the mortal laws of our world, because he’s a Daedra who does that a lot. Oh, and an asshat.


    Tene: Huh. That makes sense, actually.


    Dahra: That’s why I mentioned it.




    This episode on… Tenebrous and Friends!


    We start off the momentous and heroic Covenant quests, by working with pirates and a thief for a hefty sum of relatively quick coin, as well as something to do on Stros M’kai. While pretty, it is not recommended as a tourist location, because the crime rate is through the roof, and “law” enforcement doesn’t give a shit. Anyhoo, we complete the “Tip of the Spearhead” intro quest, and help a remorseless womanizer evade the authorities in “Innocent Scoundrel”.





    Tene: So, our adventures begin aboard a ship, the Spearhead, where Dahra was apparently taken after escaping Coldharbour and traveling the expanse of space and time, upon which she was rescued by the ship’s captain.


    Dahra: Heheh. “Spearhead”. I guess the sailors were at sea for too long…


    Tene: Go and talk to the Argonian. Worthy of note is that the Covenant is far more open-minded than the other Alliances, so you’ll spot a wide variety of races about. Once that’s done, we head out of the ship, basking in the warm sunlight of the desert island. It’s rather pleasant, in it’s own way.


    Dahra: incomprehensible screeching


    Tene: Also, go talk to one of the crew, a Khajiit named Master Kasan. Dude is actually a swell guy, and is a privateer with years of experience. He’s quite the badass, having taught the captain, Kaleen, everything he knew.



    Does that look like the face of mercy?


    Tene: Now then, we need to talk to Kaleen, who cheerfully talks about your rescue, the mutiny she recently suffered, and the subsequent lack of crew. The latter of these problems forms the core of the Stros M’kai quests—we need to track down three significant characters for a heist, which will screw over the corrupt and pretty evil head honcho, Bhosek.


    Dahra: And will also let me get indoors, and stop the sun from burning my eyes. Being trapped in Oblivion before recovering on a dimly-lit ship isn’t exactly healthy on my eyesight.


    Tene: Now, we can choose our first target: Neramo, a nutty scholar studying Dwarves, Lerisa, a master of disguise whose ship was crashed, and Jakarn, the aforementioned thief who stole from Bhosek, and thrown into prison. I went with him first. Once you’ve decided, feel free to chat with Kaleen about the island, the mutiny, and the local tavern.


    Finally, a solid reason for being on this damn island!


    Tene: Now, the security measures in the Grave (great prison name!) are quite unorthodox, and their effectiveness is arguable. Y’see, the place has a few guards, and a gauntlet of traps, to deter any escapees who manage to unlock their cell. But if they reach the front door, they’re home free—it doesn’t even have a lock. You’d think that a place like Stros M’kai, a literal haven for criminals, would try a bit harder to contain folks that pissed them off. There is a possibility of a lack of funding (either for legitimate reasons or Bhosek being greedy), though a more logical reason is Bhosek’s established love for horrible, torturous executions meaning a prison isn’t so necessary.


    Dahra: But, if he kills or tortures everyone for minor offenses, why have a prison at all? Seems a waste. Especially since the official punishment for robbing Bhosek is beheading. It’d be simpler to lop off the bastard’s head right there, instead of tossing him into a cell. He’d deserve it too, for not getting away.


    Tene: Hmm. Anyhow, outside the Grave (conveniently near the town, by the way), there were two things of note. First, a Skyshard—always nice to get more skill points. Second is some Altmer lady named Irien, who seems convinced that Jakarn is a wrongfully imprisoned prince of Westtry. Suuure…



    Girl, whoever this bloke is, he’s not worth shagging.


    Dahra: So, entering the Grave, we find some traps. There’s some… Thingies, that shoot fire. Sounds bad, but they turn off after a bit, so we could saunter past. The spike traps are trickier though; unless you’re a great acrobat (and hey, I can teach you, for coin), the average bloke could expect some bloody injuries. The guards in this place seemed uninspired and weak, making them easy to slaughter with impunity. A nice way to test some of my new powers.



    Huh, and I thought mages were puny.


    Dahra: Speaking of which, I got some cool skills. I can execute dudes with electricity, blast them with crystals, and summon a… familiar, I think’s the name. Thanks, Ian.


    Tene: No problem! So, we went and took a nice stroll through the prison, casually killing the guards. While this logically would be highly illegal pretty much anywhere, it seems the Stros M’kai administration doesn’t care that you’re jailbreaking a guy that pissed off their boss. Hey, they probably hate Bhosek too, guy’s an ass. Then, we find our target, Jakarn. He’s basically a more realistic version of the “heroic rogue” archetype. He’s nice in his way, and looks out for his friends, but he’s also remorselessly opportunistic and manipulative. Oh, and he tends to be a womanizer too.



    Hmm. Do those talents involve bloodshed? Because that’ll earn you a bit of respect from me.


    Tene: So, even though the front door remains unlocked, we can’t go out that way. Because of the wrath of the Elven lady. OK, Jakarn also does say there’s guards, but it kind of stretches credibility. So, how will we escape? Simple: There’s another exit, through an open door up a conspicuous ladder. Bhosek continues to prove that he should stick to straight execution, because his prison sucks. Outside, Jakarn convinces us to help him get the stolen gem back… From goblins.



    That actually is a fair reason though. Why didn’t I think of that?


    Dahra: From here on, there’s a lot of dumbass goblins trying to kill you as you invade their cave. They have mages somehow, too. They’re pretty fun to kill, but Jakarn has an annoying tendency to off them before I can. The f*cker.



    The more I see this man, the more I get pissed off…


    Tene: Eventually, you’ll find the goblin chief’s chest with the pretty gemstone inside. Sometimes, he’s there, and is an honestly puny midboss. But hey, EXP is nice, so kill him if he’s spawned. Grab the goods, and make your way to the meetup. There’s some Orc lady working for Bhosek, and you can either hand over the gem or claim you’ve never seen him. While Jakarn is a jerk, we figured Bhosek was jerkier, so we kept it. Then, we head to the meetup place, which is the tavern.



    Yes! Yes! Time to get piss drunk! That always leads to some funny shit.


    Dahra: Oh yeah, the High Elf girl from before is there too. She’s realized Jakarn is awful. Good for her, I guess. So, we hand the gem in, and get a sword and money. Which is cool. Then, some random girl shows up.



    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


    Tene: So, Nicolene, Kaleen’s cabin girl (who, for the record, seems to have a crush on the captain the size of the Abecean Sea) is basically reminding us of who’s left to recruit. Which we were gonna get to anyways, but it’s her time to waste I guess.


    Welp, that's all for this part! Thanks for reading.


  • May 29, 2018

    Oh, I'm liking this Tene. Breaking the fourth wall. Plus, I like Dahra's personality. Cheers you drunkard!