Roleplaying » Discussions


The Interrogation of Farkas

Tags: #Phil  #Interview  #Ilani Silver 
  • Member
    June 19, 2019

    This interview I had with the Farkas of Ilani's A Good Man Goes to War took on a life of its own. I think we both just followed in its wake, pleasantly surprised, wondering where it would lead us xD

    Flickering flames from the torches on the walls made the four helmeted guards of Dragonsreach Dungeon look sinister as they escorted the big man to a prison cell. It was a small space, just enough room for a rickety table, a couple of stools, and a cot against the wall. Simple, hemp garments like those of a prisoner were thrust upon him. "Put these on and sit down, Farkas" Said one of the guards as he stood by a stool. Another leaned against the bars, while the other two stood outside, waiting.

    Farkas does neither. He places the clothes on the stool and leans against the other wall. “I’m not a prisoner and I don’t wear prisoners’ clothing. I still don’t understand why I’m here. Didn’t you talk to Kodlak? I said ‘go, talk to Kodlak.’ That’ll clear everything up.”

    "Put them on. For now you are our prisoner, and we'd rather look at you in those rags than see you in nothing at all. Kodlak said to haul your ass to the dungeon the next time you were found naked and lollygagging. So here you are and here you will stay until we've finished asking you some questions. Now put those clothes on."

    Farkas shakes his head. “Kodlak said next time he heard of me rutting like a wild beast - his words - , he’d have me thrown in the dungeon. I don’t understand why Kodlak doesn’t want me to have fun, but fine. But you didn’t find me doing that, did you?”

    "Put the soddin' clothes on, Companion! Or do you want us to dress you like a little baby? Kodlak wants this to be a decent town for decent folk, as do we. If you weren't... err, rutting, what were you doing. eh? What other reason would there be to be naked? It's downright cold that time of morning."

    Farkas laughs, and stays leaned against the wall. “You’re a terrible excuse for a Nord. It’s not cold here, and it wasn’t cold under the Gildergreen. Now, maybe I shouldn’t have been sleeping there. And maybe I shouldn’t have been naked. But I wasn’t hurting anyone, and I have nothing to hide.” Farkas grins. “If you want to come in here and get me dressed, knock yourselves out. But as I said, I’ve got nothing to hide.”


    "I for one would be a lot warmer and a lot happier with a bellyful of mead. We ain't dressing you. If you can't do it yourself then I guess you'll have to live with leaning your bare ass against that piss-stained wall." (The guard by the stool turns to the other by the door) "Hey, Wilhelm. Go get us some ale. Maybe one for our guest, too, eh? I'll not have him question Nord hospitality under our roof." (Wilhelm returns with mugs and bottles which he plonks on the table) "Care for a drink?"

    Farkas looks interested, but laughs again. “Funny you mention piss and ale in the same sentence. I am thirsty, though. I wouldn’t turn down a mead.”

    "Spoken like a true Nord! that's the most sensible thing you've said since we dragged you here. Didn't put up much of a fight did he, Wilhelm? Steady there big fella. What's your poison, Honningbrew or Black-Briar? Make sure you get this answer right."

    Farkas snorts. “And there you go, talking about poison and Black-Briar in the same sentence. I’ll take a Honningbrew.”

    "Ah, is there any way you'd rather spend the day than drinking Honningbrew Mead?" (The guard reaches into his belt pouch) "Lucky for you I always have at least one bottle on me to get me through the day. Let me pour some for you into that there mug. Drink."

    Farkas walks over to get the mug and drains it in one long quaff while the guards look on in impressed amusement. “Thanks, boys.”

    "Ha! The gods gave you two hands and you use both for your tankard. I can respect that. Now, we're all friends here. Shared a drink and everythin'. Whaddaya say you just tell us what you were doing, nude as the night is long, beneath Kyne's sacred tree? Tell us and we can get out of here."

    Farkas slams the tankard down on the table. “Why d’you need to know? I wasn’t hurting anyone.”
    “Besides, it’s Companions business, what I was doing. I’m not supposed to talk about it.”

    "Hey! We're the law in this city. Disrespect the law and you disrespect me. It's my job to ask questions, and I'm following the instructions of the Harbinger. So it is our business. Now, I know you'll answer our questions because I know something you don't. Wanna know what that is?"

    “Kodlak wants me to talk? He’s never said anything like that before. Mostly he tells me to stop talking. ‘Don’t be such a chatterbox, Farkas. Be more like your brother, Farkas. Don’t betray your pack, Farkas.’ Gets tiresome. I don’t know what you could do to make me betray my pack. On purpose, anyway.”

    "Pack, is it? Is that what you Companions call each other? That truth potion mixed in with the mead you just necked will ensure we get to the bottom of this. Brewed by Arcadia, that one."

    Farkas swears under his breath. “You would use magic on your fellow Nord? What’s next? Got a justiciar in your pocket you’re waiting to spring on me? If you’re a true Nord, you’ve had your share of mornings like the one you woke me out of. And if you’re a true Nord, you wouldn’t trust that Imperial witch any further than you could throw her. And since you’re not true Nords, the lot of you, I suppose that distance isn’t far at all. Hypocritical bastards, the lot of you.”

    "Save your sermons, preacher. True Nords protect this city from everything from bandits to drunken louts and layabouts like you. Now let's test that brew from the Imperial witch. That makeup you wear. It's awful pretty, where'd you get it?"

    “Carlotta, asshole.” Farkas looks horrified. “Fuck.”

    "Ha! Who would have thunk? Farkas and Carlotta! I owe Arcadia a drink! Let me guess, you buy the stuff off Carlotta at the tavern like the other ladies?"

    Farkas rolls his eyes and sits on the cot. He wags his finger at the guards. “Oh, no. You’re not getting any of that ‘ladies’ bullshit off on me. Those women deal with more shit than you ever have. And I’m saying this since I’m in here, and not Mikael. Have you louts ever talked to that milk-drinker? He’s the one who needs a truth potion down his gullet, not me.”

    “And I’m not the only one. Vilkas uses the same design as me.” (Farkas frowns, noticing one guard punch a guard who’d started laughing) “That whirligig on Kodlak’s face? Carlotta designed that one, too.”

    “But if you’re looking for stories...” Farkas crosses and uncrosses his legs, and grins. The guards back up. “you won’t find them here. I don’t get involved with women here. Where I live, I mean. Too complicated. Nothing tends to work out like it should, and then I’ve got an angry woman within shooting distance of Jorrvaskr. Have you seen all the weapons we keep there? No, not even for Carlotta.”

    "Aye, your words have the uncomfortable ring of truth. I'd not cross a Whiterun woman in a hurry. It's said you don't know a Nord woman until you've had a fistfight with her. A wise man tries to know as few of them as possible. Wouldn't mind getting to know Ysolda, though. I've heard she knows her way around a mammoth's tusk! Alright Companion, if your actions last night weren't the result of a dalliance with a local lass, then what by Shor were you doing 'neath the Gildergreen in your Kyne-clothes? Kicked out of Jorrvaskr for farting?"

    “You kiss your mother with that mouth?” Farkas lies down on the cot, arms crossed under his head. “I wasn’t even in Jorrvaskr last night. Well, not after dinner anyway. And let me tell you, everyone else wanted to know where I was going, too. But I didn’t tell them. They would have wanted to come along.” Farkas pauses. “Fine. I was in Helgen.”

    "By the gods, man, at least cover yourself with a blanket! Helgen, huh? That's a fair ways off. Never been myself, heard they do strange things to their mead up there. What's the big secret you're even keeping from your Companions? Got a fancy man that aways?"

    “If I was in Jorrvaskr now instead of here, you wouldn’t have to look at me. There’s a truth for you. And another- I’ve never had a complaint before, from a woman or a man. You’re protesting a little too much, maybe?” Farkas grins. “That was some good mead, though. And Helgen’s not that far. Had a job in Helgen a year or so back. Met a few women down there, including a priestess of Dibella, and I’ve got an open invitation. It was a good night.”

    "A priestess of Dibella? You're shitting me! Lucky git. I knew I chose the wrong career. I used to be an adventurer like you before I... Never mind. Must have been an awful short night for you to make it back here to Whiterun before sunup. Your priestess tire you out before dusk?"

    “She did. That’s probably why I was asleep under the Gildergreen. But not before dusk. I didn’t even get to Helgen until after dinner. And didn’t leave until nearly sunrise. So, I mean, I had a good night. Got the stamina for it and everything.”

    "'ang on, you got to Helgen, poked a priestess, forgot your clothes, and got back here in, what, six hours? Is your horse blessed by Kyne or something? I've heard Skyforged steel is superior, but if your Eorlund Grey-Mane is now forging horseshoes I want some! Truth potion or no, this story has more holes it than my armour."

    “Horses?” Farkas snorts. “I don’t care for horses. I know it’s the Skyrim thing to do and all, and everyone loves them. But I can’t make the damn things mind. I point a beast one way, it goes another. No, I’ve got no use for the bloody things.”



    (The guards look at Farkas for several moments of silence, their expressions obscured by the helmets they wore, before finally the one at the table speaks). "Well, unless you sprouted wings and flew, or grew hooves of your own, you must have used magic like some damned knife-ear to get here so quickly. Which is it Companion? Are you a secret elf or some sort of half-horse?"

    “I’m definitely not a half-horse.”
    Farkas thinks for a second and grins. “Nope, not any of those things!”

    "Well I'm stumped. Are you stumped Wilhem? Yeah, he's stumped too. How did you do it?"

    Farkas gets up and walks over to the bars and grabs them, leaning with his arms out straight in front. “ If I tell you, you’ll let me out of here?”

    "I s'pose we could let you out of this cell. I've always hated this one. Not only does it reek of piss, sometimes spiders the size of dogs crawl up from that grate in the corner there. Listen, you can here them skittering around down below. Gives me the shivers. Heh, you should hear the screams in the night when a prisoner realises the company he's got."

    Farkas lets go of the bars and spins around, pressing against them, as far from the grate as he can get. But then he straightens and his spine tenses. “Who else knows about...” He mutters under his breath and slowly creeps toward the grate, in the shadows, away from the guards. He sniffs, and frowns, baring his teeth a bit, and walks back to the bars. “So you want the truth, huh? Balgruuf’s kid talks to some sort of demon in the basement, here. Might want to do your job one day, guys. Belathor’s sleeping with the wives of at least two palace guards. There’s a woman who lives behind the market who I think is an assassin. Pretty sure of it, actually. There’s a Grey-Mane and a Battle-Born having an affair. Might be good to know in case violence comes of it. As it probably will.” Farkas stares at the guard who’d punched the other guard for laughing a few minutes before.

    “Or was it entertainment you wanted? Farkas fell asleep while he was changing again, let’s have a few laughs? Hm. Well, Vilkas sleeps with an Amulet of Mara under his pillow. Not that anything would come of it even if he was using it right. Vilkas was also the one who stunk up the privy last week and blamed it on Aela.” Farkas grins as the guards exchange punches again. “Skjor and Aela spend way too much time in each other’s rooms, although I’ve noticed Aela spending quite a bit of time in the newbloods’ barracks. But until now I’ve kept my mouth shut. I figured private lives were private. None of my business. Well, you guys sure proved me wrong, digging into mine. And worse- using magic. You know how I feel about that.

    Farkas grins and rattles the bars. “You boys done, or is there something else you want to know? Since you also know I can get out of this cell anytime I like. We’re all brothers here, after all.” Farkas inclines his head to a guard in the back. “Siblings, anyway.”
    Farkas looks proud of himself. “Now that I think of it, thanks for that truth potion. It was nice to finally get all that off my chest.”

    "Belethor's what? With who now? What assassin? Demons in the basement? An affair? What's that about an Amulet of Mar.." (The guard who had just been hit takes of his helmet) "Dammit Icebrain, you had to mention my Amulet. Did you honestly think you'd swallowed a truth potion? I swear brother, Kyne hiccupped when she breathed into you."

    Farkas looks horrified, then relieved. I didn’t...that wasn’t a truth potion? Oh, for the love of Dibella, that’s a relief. Ugh, I hate magic.” He smirks at Vilkas. “Stupid? Hah! I figured out what you lot were up to, didn’t I? And as for the Amulet? I told you about those spiders in confidence, brother. That makes us even in my books.”

    (There are peals of laughter as the guards remove their helmets and make way for Farkas. Aela, the other Companion present and one responsible for the new bruises on Vilkas' arm, shakes out her hair) "There you go mentioning Dibella again, Farkas. I never thought of you as a spiritual man but it looks as though you have a favourite goddess. Or is it just the worship you enjoy?"

    Farkas leans a shoulder against the door. “I’ve never thought about it before. Like why you call me Icebrain. Maybe you think I’m stupid, but did any of you notice Balgruuf’s kid?” He looks pointedly at one of Balgruuf’s guards. “Seriously, though, check that shit out. That kid is not right. Anyway, you gotta notice the here and now, sometimes. I don’t know if the Divines are real or if it’s all some sort of con, but when I’m with a priestess of Dibella, even if we’re not in bed, she takes everything away, nothing left but what’s happening now. No past,” Farkas’s eyes dim a little, and he meets Vilkas’s eyes and they both nod, “no future. No one to fight, no grabbing at power. Just now, just being. For a little while, at least. If that’s being spiritual...” Farkas shrugs.

    (Balgruuf's guards look at the floor uncomfortably while Aela meets Farkas' gaze approvingly). "I think I get it. It's the same for me when I hunt beneath the moons, I guess. There is no fear, no worry, no feeling of shame as war tears our homeland apart. Just the wind streaming through my fur as the stars shine above, the scent of prey on the wind. Nothing else matters but that one moment as it bleeds into the next, the thrill unmatched. "

    Farkas watches Aela while she speaks, but Vilkas flinches and catches his eye. He nods at Vikas and tries to blink away a guilty expression. “Agreed, sister. Agreed.” Farkas pushes his shoulder off the door. “Speaking of shame - not that I have any, mind, but isn’t it about time I get back to Jorrvaskr? Still not putting those clothes on, but if you have a spare cloak or two, I’ll clean them before I return them.”

    (Wilhelm punches the air) "Finally! If I never see your bollocks again it'll be too soon."

    Farkas yanks Wilhelm’s cloak off, wraps it around his body like a toga, and waves his fingers in front of his own face. “My eyes are up here, son.”

  • June 19, 2019

    Was a really fun read guys. Ilani, I always love the way you portray the Companions and it was just a hilarious read that had some really great character moments mixed in. It was interesting to read an 'interview' that read a bit more like a short story (well, in some ways it sort of is just with a slightly different writing style) and the 'reveal' of the guards being Companions was a really great 'ending' to the interview. 

    Abosulutly loved reading it :D

  • June 19, 2019
    Thanks, Paws, for putting this out! And thanks DB. It was, obviously, super fun to do. :)
  • June 19, 2019

    This is a cool way to present a backstory, I remember coming across this story's Farkas a while back and liking him a lot. The character interactions are fun to read but the best part was all the references/straight up injection of in-game dialogue into the conversation, most of it was hilarious.

    Unfortunately it's all overshadowed by that Farkas pinup pic.

    (who even needs pornagraphy when you have deviantart)

  • Member
    June 20, 2019

    Dragonborn2121 said:

    Was a really fun read guys. Ilani, I always love the way you portray the Companions and it was just a hilarious read that had some really great character moments mixed in. It was interesting to read an 'interview' that read a bit more like a short story (well, in some ways it sort of is just with a slightly different writing style) and the 'reveal' of the guards being Companions was a really great 'ending' to the interview. 

    Abosulutly loved reading it :D

    Thanks Deebs!

    ilanisilver said: Thanks, Paws, for putting this out! And thanks DB. It was, obviously, super fun to do. :)

    A pleasure xD

    The Sunflower Manual said:

    This is a cool way to present a backstory, I remember coming across this story's Farkas a while back and liking him a lot. The character interactions are fun to read but the best part was all the references/straight up injection of in-game dialogue into the conversation, most of it was hilarious.

    Unfortunately it's all overshadowed by that Farkas pinup pic.

    (who even needs pornagraphy when you have deviantart)

    Hey, thanks Harrow! I think what tickled me most was the idea that Carlotta and the ladies of the Bannered Mare deal with more shit than the Companions and city guards have ever seen. I mean, there's Farkas off fighting millennia-old warriors in Ysgramor's tomb, zealous werewolf-hunters, giant spiders, and dragons while the guards have to put up with dragon attacks, vampire attacks, and the psychotic episodes of the game's player-character... But that's nothing compared to what the ladies of the Mare must deal with. Maybe they just don't brag about it but have saved the city from evil liches and made it home in time for supper? Whatever it is, there's a story there!