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Contest Build: Wrong Set Right, Part II

Tags: #Character Build Crusader  #Character Build Enchanter  #Character Build Battlemage  #Character Build Hero  #Race:Dunmer  #Contest Bronze  #SE Rank:Novice  #Judged Contest 
  • Member
    July 6, 2018




    Race: Dark Elf

    Gender: M

    Stat Spread: 1 | 3 | 1

    Only moderate amounts of stamina and magicka are required for power attacks, bashes, and spells on the battlefield. All other points must go into health to make up for Suryn’s lack of investment in armor perks.

    Standing Stone: Lover ⇒ Lord and Steed

    The Lord Stone and the Steed Stone are an ideal combination for Suryn, making up for his lack of strong armor and ensuring his mobility on the battlefield.

    Alignment: Neutral Good

    Suryn is an idealist who believes the best of everyone, even those who have committed awful deeds; He is unafraid to dole out justice but will always offer mercy as his first choice to evildoers.

    Major Skills: Two-Handed, Block, Destruction, Restoration, Enchanting

    Level: 40


    “After the dissolution of the Tribunal Temple, House Indoril was left weak. Due to the machinations of House Hlaalu, and fulfillment of the Nerevarine prophecy, we had no power, no influence. The new temple placed Hlaalu royalty in positions of power, whereas the previous high-ranking priests and priestesses were given subordinate jobs. For all intents and purposes, House Indoril was finished.

    That is, until my grandfather started the Extricators. Veteran warriors and priests of House Indoril, they managed the New Temple and eliminated threats, balancing justice in one hand and mercy in the other; or so my father told me. Naturally, I wanted to grow up to be an Extricator ever since I was little. But those happy days didn’t last forever.”

    -Suryn Indoril, Journal 








    Foolish are the warriors who make use of shields. Shields, while useful tools, only engender passivity, whereas two-handed weapons provide aggressive and powerful options in combat.

    Perks: Barbarian 5/5, Champion’s Stance, Devastating Blow, Great Critical Charge, Sweep, Warmaster


    Somewhat erroneously named, the block skill tree allows Suryn to perform advanced combat maneuvers such as parries, ripostes, and disarms.

    Perks: Shield Wall 1/5, Quick Reflexes, Power Bash, Deadly Bash, Disarming Bash


    Fire cleanses, fire brings life, fire burns away impurity. Destruction magic is a tool to be used, not a thing to be feared. Fire spells provide both ranged and melee combat options for agile warriors such as Suryn.

    Perks: Novice-Adept Destruction, Destruction Dual-Casting, Impact, Augmented Flames 2/2, Intense Flames


    Restoration is a prime requisite of the Extricators. Suryn can use restoration magic not only to heal himself and remove physical fatigue, but also turn and destroy lesser undead creatures such as draugr, vampires, and skeletons.

    Perks: Novice-Adept Restoration, Restoration Dual-Casting, Regeneration, Necromage, Respite


    A skilled enchanter is invaluable to Indoril’s Extricators. Suryn can imbue both his armor and his weapons with effects he himself is unable to replicate through use of magic.

    Perks: Enchanter 5/5, Fire Enchanter, Insightful Enchanter, Corpus Enchanter, Extra Effect





    “Go, go, go!”


    The cloaked warriors burst forth from their hiding places about the ruined dais. With a flash of steel they swiftly cut down the three vampires without giving them the ghost of a chance to retaliate. Suryn glanced around. The cavern seemed clear; All the vampires had either fallen or fled from the battle. The Volkihar had ambushed a Moth Priest near Dragon Bridge and brought him here for interrogation. He took a step towards the scintillating barrier that enclosed the robed man.


    Suryn held up a closed fist, signalling for his men to stop. Something seemed off. They had encountered little resistance on their way in. Could a handful of vampires really take down an entire troupe of Imperial soldiers?


    Almost as if in answer, a shard of ice flew down from the ledge above, taking one of the Dawnguard scouts in the throat. The other two soldiers and Suryn instinctively ducked, but one of them was too slow and caught another icy projectile in her vitals. He heard a foul chanting, and the corpses of his fallen friends began to shamble to life and attack his last remaining soldier with a hungry violence. Acting quickly, he leapt across the room and cut them down , but it was too late for his ally. He directed his attention to the location the spells were coming from, and he could hardly believe his eyes.


    “Malven?” he asked incredulously. After all this time, he had finally found her. “Sister, is that you?”


    The figure walked slowly down the stairs. Ice crystals crackled menacingly at her fingertips. His sister, it seemed, was not interested in talking to him.


    “Mal, I know you’ve been wronged. But it doesn’t have to be this way! Come home with me, and we can start over again,” he pleaded.


    Before he could beg any further, she unleashed an onslaught of blows upon him with her spells and mighty mace. He backpedaled, not wanting to hurt her but doing his best to defend from her attacks. His foot slipped of the back of the platform and he fell onto the hard ground fifteen feet below. Malven channeled one last icicle, and hurled it at him while he was prone.


    The spell found not his heart as he expected, but shot straight through his right arm, pinning him to the ground as he screamed in pain. Malven hesitated for a moment, almost contemplatively. Then, she turned around and fled the cave, leaving Suryn wondering why.





    Silver Greatsword (Turn Undead, Fire Damage)

    Elven Greatsword (Soul Trap, Absorb Stamina)



    Bonemold Gauntlets (Fortify Two-Handed, Fortify Magicka)

    Bonemold Boots (Fortify Two-Handed, Fortify Stamina Regen)

    Chitin Armor (Fortify Health, Fortify Healing Rate)

    Ring (Fortify Health, Resist Magic)

    Necklace (Fortify Magicka, Resist Magic)








    Isran sat down on the barrel next to Suryn, tightening various straps on his plated leather armor. The orange sun beat down on them as it crested the peak of the cliffs of Dayspring Canyon. The heat was oppressive, yet the sun something the vampire hunters counted as an invaluable ally.

    “You’re quiet today, soldier. You’re not nervous, are you?” Isran asked. In the previous weeks, their conflict with the Volkihar vampires had reached a tipping point. It was now or never to stop Harkon from completing his prophecy. Of course it would have been natural to be nervous. But that wasn’t what was bothering the young dunmer.

    “Isran… I told you that Mal’s my sister,” Suryn said, “But I haven’t told you what happened to her. Before we charge in there cutting everyone down, I need you to know why I’m hunting her down.” Isran grunted. The boy had been off ever since the incident at Forebears’ Holdout. “You see,” he continued, “Malven wasn’t always cold and vengeful the way she is now. We grew up in the New Temple. Our mother wasn’t around when we were little, so the priests there practically raised us while our father was away on important business. She was always dragging me off on these grand adventures,” the wisp of a smile on Suryn’s face turned into a frown. “But one day, she did something that the church considered unforgivable. She found a tome on necromancy, which she insisted on using. I tried to stop her, but she wouldn’t listen, Isran!” Suryn collapsed, resting his face in his hands. “Necromancy is heresy in dunmeri culture. She… they cut out her tongue, Isran. To prevent her from ever casting spells again. I don’t know why they were so harsh, Isran. She was only a child.”

    “She was different after that day. She became brooding, dark. Then, one day, she simply disappeared. Tales began to waft about the land of a mysterious sorceress who would kill and experiment on bodies. After I had completed my training, the New Temple dispatched me bring her to justice. But I know there’s still good in her. She proved that at Forebears’ Holdout. If only I can convince her…” Isran laid a hand on his back. “She’s been hurt, son,” he sighed. “Listen. When we find her, I’ll do everything in my power to get her to surrender. But you need to understand… If she refuses, and you won’t finish her, I will.”




    At his heart, Suryn is a noble knight that believes people to be basically good by default, with a few bad people among them. Although he sympathises with most people of Skyrim, he can’t in good conscience choose one side of a conflict or another. Although bringing Malven to justice is his main priority, he will not turn down a cry for aid if someone needs it. Give coins to beggars, offer to help people with dangerous tasks that they’d be unable to do themselves, and always be polite and kind to people you talk to.


    The combat style taught to all Extricators relies on aggression and precision to quickly neutralize opponents before they can pose a threat. After applying Stendarr’s Aura or Flame Cloak, Suryn will pick off as many targets as he can before charging into battle. In melee range, he will use bashes and power attacks to stagger and disarm opponents to prevent them from attacking. After all, the best defense is an overwhelming offense.

    Quests and Factions

    The Companions

    Following the events at Helgen, Suryn will travel to all nine holds of Skyrim in search of Malven. Once in Whiterun, he will meet with the leader of the Companions and have a respect for them as honorable warriors. He will join them for a time, but not so long as to become a werewolf and join the circle. Their jobs can be a good way to obtain gold early in the game

    The Dawnguard

    After weeks of searching, from Markarth to Winterhold, Suryn is confronted with the impossibility of his task. Skyrim is an entire country, and he is just one man. He knows that Malven is studying undead, so perhaps she has researched vampires too. It seems a long shot, but it’s his best chance, and he isn’t disappointed. The Dawnguard questline and radiant quests will be Suryn’s main focus once he is recruited by them, all the way up to the conclusion of his journey.

    Caves and Crypts

    Suryn knows that the main reason Malven came to Skyrim was to study shadow magic and necromancy. Having learned much from the Companions about nordic burial sites and the cave systems of Skyrim, he will also tend to explore those he comes across in his travels. This will eventually lead him to begin the Lost to the Ages quest and the Aetherial Crown.



    Suryn pulled himself off of the ground, slowly returning to a fighting stance and leveling his sword at harkon once more.

    Lord Harkon laughed. "You sorry fools. Did you really think that you could defeat me?" With a wave of his hand, he generated a magical blast that sent the young dunmer flying. "I've waited CENTURIES for this moment. I'm not about to let a bunch of sorry excuses for prey stop me!" He strode over to Suryn lay confidently, and drove his heel down onto the boy's fingers, savoring hearing them crunch into the ground. Suryn screamed in agony, and Harkon wrenched Auriel's Bow from where it was strapped to Suryn's back. "Now," he said, "Witness my prophecy! Watch in awe as I drown out the very Sun!" Harkon took an arrow from the bloody fountain, nocking it and taking aim at the narrow window above.

    But before he could draw the bow, an icy spear seemed to sprout from his very chest. He stared incredulously at the mortal wound, and wordlessly fell dead on the floor. From the shadows of the room stepped a menacing figure clad in chitinous plates and a steel mask. Malven.

    "I knew you'd come," Suryn coughed as he spat up blood. He clambered with great effort to his feet, clutching at his wounds with restorative magic. He limped towards his sister, but was stopped by a firm shove from another. Protecting his sister, seemingly back from the dead, was Arch-Curate Vyrthur of the Forgotten Vale.

    "Lady Blacktongue did not come here to save you, fool," he said derisively. "She is here to claim Harkon's power. With it she will destroy House Indoril."

    Suryn's face contorted with shock. She wouldn't do that, would she? "Mal," he begged, "Please tell me it isn't true. Malven, I know that what the Temple did was wrong. I would never deny that. But to kill eveyone in the temple... You know that isn't right! Please, Mal. Surrender, and come home with me."

    She shook her head slowly from side to side. Surrender was no longer an option for Malven. Only victory, or death.

    "Malven Indoril," he said heavily. "You are hereby charged by the New Temple and House Indoril with heresy, seven counts of murder, practice of forbidden arts, and arson to the greatest degree. The punishment for these crimes is death. How do you plead?"

    The long, sharpened fingertips of Malven's chitin gloves gently pulled of her emotionless metal mask, revealing eyes so full of fury they seemed to have fire in them. She opened her mouth to speak, revealing a perfectly intact tongue fully restored through the use of shadow magic.





    Miss Part I? Click Here!










    Closing Notes

    Whoof. This build has been a long time in the making, so I'm glad it's finally complete. That being said, I can definitely spot some flaws in this build just by myself, so I'm eager to hear everyone else's take on it.

    • Instead of giving the backstory in one location, I sort of sprinkled it throughout, all the way up until the big reveal at the end. Thoughts on this format?
    • I thought the equipment and gameplay sections were a bit bare-bones. Opinions?
    • I've noticed a trend lately where the builds are much more in-depth with story and backstory. Is this a good thing or a distraction from the build in the long run? How much is too much?



  • July 7, 2018

    Cool, yeah so to be fair I have to agree that the Gameplay at least was a little bare bones, the equipment was fine in my opinion but I can't deny the Gameplay was lacking a fair bit, but I definitely think the Backstory and Roleplaying elements were interesitng as well. Whether the balance was distracting or not is really something you decide, personally I shy away from large backstories because I can't write for shit anymore, but if you enjoy it then there's no reason to change your building style up a little you know.

    Just do what you want to though Xenla, that's pretty much the best advice I can give. 

  • July 7, 2018

    1. I like the sprinkled backstory. It’s a good technique, I think. Intriguing. 

    2. Equipment? no. I think that was just right. Gameplay? If you think it was barebones it probably was, but I’m not a great judge of that. I thought the motivations were very appropriately described, adn I could envision what each character would do in a given situation. Not exactly what weapon they would use, or how they swing the sword, but honestly? I don’t want to know that. 

    3. As for too much backstory? For me, there’s no such thing, if it’s done well. And you did it well. I also like that you cut it off at the end, so we can imagine what happened between the two siblings. Perfectly done. 


    the only mistake I can see in my read-through was in the explanation of Malven’s perks: you say Bladesman 5/5 instead of Armsman. Which, it’s right on the chart, so really minor. 

  • Member
    July 7, 2018

    Dragonborn2021 said:

    Cool, yeah so to be fair I have to agree that the Gameplay at least was a little bare bones, the equipment was fine in my opinion but I can't deny the Gameplay was lacking a fair bit, but I definitely think the Backstory and Roleplaying elements were interesitng as well. Whether the balance was distracting or not is really something you decide, personally I shy away from large backstories because I can't write for shit anymore, but if you enjoy it then there's no reason to change your building style up a little you know.

    Just do what you want to though Xenla, that's pretty much the best advice I can give. 

    I really think that the key for me is being careful not to bury the gameplay and technical stuff under a sea of text (which I kinda feel happened here), The technical sections could have been improved without taking away from the build, so there's that. I've got lots of thoughts about this build, but I think I'll wait until I've processed them completely before writing hundreds of words about it :P

    I look forward to the write-up (And the next CB event!)