...Okay. Okay. I am deeply impressed.
Your layout and presentation change is very well done. You've cut out a lot of dead white space and the build reads and flows much more smoothly compared to before. It feels tighter and more precise, if that makes sense. (As you can tell, I'm also a little better at giving precise feedback than I used to be. It was... a hard lesson. Thank you so much for being patient with me.)
I'm going to run down the build and point out places where I THINK there may be possible, specific build or presentation improvement. After that, but a little later (time-wise), I'd like to run down the entire post word-for-word and point out all the grammatical errors as a sort of quality control. I don't have time for that second one right now, but expect it (and sorry in advance, because I'm a hawk when it comes to grammar edits).
But before that, let me say a few things. Firstly, as of now, your build is well-crafted and well-put together. It is already good. Secondly, I am only a soly, and I only know what a soly knows and how a soly acts. I can be wrong; I am often naggy and pushy. And to your build, I am only an advisory. You are the author and you have final decision on any changes that may be suggested and that you may or may not want to make. If you like a suggestion or an idea, implement it. If you don't like it, throw it away. And I need you to remember that this applies to everything I say below. My suggestions have a habit of sounding more like instructions.
Okay, from the top.
The build overview (Race, stat spread, etc) is generally fine. There's substantively little to change, but you should add Dragonrend to your list of important shouts - it is currently missing. I personally would also remove the table of contents (I think it's unnecessary), but if you like it you can keep it, there's no problem there.
Major and minor skills. What you have is generally good, and the descriptions are very solid. What I like to do here is try to offer more insight to which perks are important to the character, i.e. what skills do you prioritise perking or leveling (this is generally clear with the Major/Minor skills division)? Which perks are essential game-changers that you rush into existence as soon as possible? For example, personal experience tells me that the Quick Reflexes perk is absolutely essential to combat with a shield. So for example you might state "The Quick Reflexes perk is absolutely essential to combat against melee enemies, while Elemental Protection offers a solid degree of defense against mages. Both of these perks should be prioritised as soon as possible." Think about that, look through your perks list, and pick out the really important ones, then mention them in the skills description.
Doing this tells the reader which perks are considered essential to the build, and which ones are merely auxiliary. This sort of shapes the build in the early levels (say, levels 10-25) - which perks do I prioritise early on? Which perks make this build what it is, and which perks can we not care as much about?
Including the above information (what perks are essential and make the build) should be sufficient, but if you want to include a full progression snapshot (i.e. if I only played this build to level 20/25, what would it look like?) and progression perk set, that is also fine.
You should also check out this post by Dragonborn1921 (the second post from the top of the page) that considers the use of bold and emphasis to draw readers' attention to important things in the build (also see how, above, I've bolded "essential game-changers"? Example, right there).
Lastly, I would note explicitly the fact that Speech is unperked. If you can dig up three perks to spare, you can perk up to Persuasion and RP'ing it as throwing your rank around, but (1) that requires you to perk Bribery, which is pretty immersion-breaking, and (2) Persuasion in this game is pretty easy anyway. Carry some Speechcraft potions if you must.
Equipment (Armor). Your text here generally sounds very good ("dons the following apparel" is some really badass phrasing and it's strangely fitting). The whole armor section just sounds really badass, in fact.
That said, firstly, there exist Steel Imperial Gauntlets and Steel Shin Boots which are (if I recall correctly) straight improvements over the regular Imperial Gauntlets and Imperial Boots. Listen up, this next bit is important. You need to tell us how you level up your Smithing skill. I'd put it here, after that blurb about improving your armor to legendary, but wherever you think it fits should be fine. This is important because I only know of two main ways to level Smithing in this game - characters which invest in the Heavy Armor side of the smithing tree usually level it with Dwarven Bows, while any characters which command Alteration magic may use Transmute Mineral Ore and jewellery. This character has neither of these options open. A single perk investment in Dwarven Smithing opens up the ability to level up the skill with Dwarven bows. If you've used a different method to improve your Smithing, please tell us, because otherwise we'll be stuck smithing iron daggers which is no longer viable for leveling the Smithing skill.
Equipment (Weapons and Miscellaneous). These sections are generally substantively solid. With that said, regarding the entire equipment section, it's sort of a wall of text right now. You should try to use an image to break it up. You can, for example, hop over to UESP's page with the Champion's Cudgel, put the image into paint.net and rotate it to vertical or horizontal, then put it aligned to the right or the centre. Alternatively I can dump the full Imperial set on one of the game's mannequins, screenshot it, and you can use that.
Squires. Again, substantively, this is very solid. But again, wall of text, look for pictures to break it up. (Ugh, that reminds me, I wanted to take pictures of Lydia, Adelaisa, and Celann for you... slipped my mind. Look out for them soon.)
One thing I would consider important here is that you should call attention to the section detailing follower strategies. This is a part of the build that I would consider big and essential, and it's too easy to skip over when skimming. Bold the first sentence, or put in a sub-heading, or something. Just make sure that follower strategis are really, really obvious.
Gameplay. In your first paragraph, I would add a note as to when you, personally, consider it safe to start Dragonborn. The absolute earliest I would even think about it is level 15 with a follower, because you have to be aware that Dragonborn dungeons are leveled to a minimum of like level 30. Realistically20-25 is likely safer, depending on game difficulty.
Your description of horse combat is generally on point. You do mention "charging in with your follower, hitting a few times, then retreating back to your follower," which sounds a bit weird to my ears, because isn't your follower charging in right behind you? If I were you, I'd also go back into the game and double check that thing on mounted power attacks. Certainly it's possible to "charge" your mounted attacks, but in my (admittedly limited) experience those aren't actually power attacks and only serve to let you start attacking earlier.
Any tips on taking on Dragons prior to the acquisition of Dragonrend would be appreciated. Additionally, I would add Dragonrend to your list of Key Shouts (as I mentioned above) because it's just so important to dealing with dragons.
Aside form your first line ("plays similarly to a typical one-handed warrior") you don't have any information on unmounted combat. In fact, wasn't it this build which said "while enemy focus is on you, play defensively with your shield and bash often, then when enemy focus is on your squire, use repeated power attacks for massive damage"? I'm looking for that, but I can't find it, which is weird. If I'm recalling it correctly and you removed it, I'd consider putting it back in; notes like that on how to handle combat are always greatly appreciated.
I would also include some information on how the build fights mages and mage enemies. Outside of the Lord Stone's Magic Resist and the Elemental Protection perk you don't have any real anti-magic tools which could be devastating in high-leveled magic duels and vampire fights.
Roleplaying. I'm not so good with roleplaying sections and feedback on roleplaying sections in builds. It looks fine to me, personally. But maybe I'm missing something and someone else could look it over.
...that about wraps it up. Job well done, and I look forwards to seeing any future builds of yours.
...Okay. Okay. I am deeply impressed.
Your layout and presentation change is very well done. You've cut out a lot of dead white space and the build reads and flows much more smoothly compared to before. It feels tighter and more precise, if that makes sense. (As you can tell, I'm also a little better at giving precise feedback than I used to be. It was... a hard lesson. Thank you so much for being patient with me.)
I'm going to run down the build and point out places where I THINK there may be possible, specific build or presentation improvement. After that, but a little later (time-wise), I'd like to run down the entire post word-for-word and point out all the grammatical errors as a sort of quality control. I don't have time for that second one right now, but expect it (and sorry in advance, because I'm a hawk when it comes to grammar edits).
But before that, let me say a few things. Firstly, as of now, your build is well-crafted and well-put together. It is already good. Secondly, I am only a soly, and I only know what a soly knows and how a soly acts. I can be wrong; I am often naggy and pushy. And to your build, I am only an advisory. You are the author and you have final decision on any changes that may be suggested and that you may or may not want to make. If you like a suggestion or an idea, implement it. If you don't like it, throw it away. And I need you to remember that this applies to everything I say below. My suggestions have a habit of sounding more like instructions.
Okay, from the top.
The build overview (Race, stat spread, etc) is generally fine. There's substantively little to change, but you should add Dragonrend to your list of important shouts - it is currently missing. I personally would also remove the table of contents (I think it's unnecessary), but if you like it you can keep it, there's no problem there.
Major and minor skills. What you have is generally good, and the descriptions are very solid. What I like to do here is try to offer more insight to which perks are important to the character, i.e. what skills do you prioritise perking or leveling (this is generally clear with the Major/Minor skills division)? Which perks are essential game-changers that you rush into existence as soon as possible? For example, personal experience tells me that the Quick Reflexes perk is absolutely essential to combat with a shield. So for example you might state "The Quick Reflexes perk is absolutely essential to combat against melee enemies, while Elemental Protection offers a solid degree of defense against mages. Both of these perks should be prioritised as soon as possible." Think about that, look through your perks list, and pick out the really important ones, then mention them in the skills description.
Doing this tells the reader which perks are considered essential to the build, and which ones are merely auxiliary. This sort of shapes the build in the early levels (say, levels 10-25) - which perks do I prioritise early on? Which perks make this build what it is, and which perks can we not care as much about?
Including the above information (what perks are essential and make the build) should be sufficient, but if you want to include a full progression snapshot (i.e. if I only played this build to level 20/25, what would it look like?) and progression perk set, that is also fine.
You should also check out this post by Dragonborn1921 (the second post from the top of the page) that considers the use of bold and emphasis to draw readers' attention to important things in the build (also see how, above, I've bolded "essential game-changers"? Example, right there).
Lastly, I would note explicitly the fact that Speech is unperked. If you can dig up three perks to spare, you can perk up to Persuasion and RP'ing it as throwing your rank around, but (1) that requires you to perk Bribery, which is pretty immersion-breaking, and (2) Persuasion in this game is pretty easy anyway. Carry some Speechcraft potions if you must.
Equipment (Armor). Your text here generally sounds very good ("dons the following apparel" is some really badass phrasing and it's strangely fitting). The whole armor section just sounds really badass, in fact.
That said, firstly, there exist Steel Imperial Gauntlets and Steel Shin Boots which are (if I recall correctly) straight improvements over the regular Imperial Gauntlets and Imperial Boots. Listen up, this next bit is important. You need to tell us how you level up your Smithing skill. I'd put it here, after that blurb about improving your armor to legendary, but wherever you think it fits should be fine. This is important because I only know of two main ways to level Smithing in this game - characters which invest in the Heavy Armor side of the smithing tree usually level it with Dwarven Bows, while any characters which command Alteration magic may use Transmute Mineral Ore and jewellery. This character has neither of these options open. A single perk investment in Dwarven Smithing opens up the ability to level up the skill with Dwarven bows. If you've used a different method to improve your Smithing, please tell us, because otherwise we'll be stuck smithing iron daggers which is no longer viable for leveling the Smithing skill.
Equipment (Weapons and Miscellaneous). These sections are generally substantively solid. With that said, regarding the entire equipment section, it's sort of a wall of text right now. You should try to use an image to break it up. You can, for example, hop over to UESP's page with the Champion's Cudgel, put the image into paint.net and rotate it to vertical or horizontal, then put it aligned to the right or the centre. Alternatively I can dump the full Imperial set on one of the game's mannequins, screenshot it, and you can use that.
Squires. Again, substantively, this is very solid. But again, wall of text, look for pictures to break it up. (Ugh, that reminds me, I wanted to take pictures of Lydia, Adelaisa, and Celann for you... slipped my mind. Look out for them soon.)
One thing I would consider important here is that you should call attention to the section detailing follower strategies. This is a part of the build that I would consider big and essential, and it's too easy to skip over when skimming. Bold the first sentence, or put in a sub-heading, or something. Just make sure that follower strategis are really, really obvious.
Gameplay. In your first paragraph, I would add a note as to when you, personally, consider it safe to start Dragonborn. The absolute earliest I would even think about it is level 15 with a follower, because you have to be aware that Dragonborn dungeons are leveled to a minimum of like level 30. Realistically20-25 is likely safer, depending on game difficulty.
Your description of horse combat is generally on point. You do mention "charging in with your follower, hitting a few times, then retreating back to your follower," which sounds a bit weird to my ears, because isn't your follower charging in right behind you? If I were you, I'd also go back into the game and double check that thing on mounted power attacks. Certainly it's possible to "charge" your mounted attacks, but in my (admittedly limited) experience those aren't actually power attacks and only serve to let you start attacking earlier.
Any tips on taking on Dragons prior to the acquisition of Dragonrend would be appreciated. Additionally, I would add Dragonrend to your list of Key Shouts (as I mentioned above) because it's just so important to dealing with dragons.
Aside form your first line ("plays similarly to a typical one-handed warrior") you don't have any information on unmounted combat. In fact, wasn't it this build which said "while enemy focus is on you, play defensively with your shield and bash often, then when enemy focus is on your squire, use repeated power attacks for massive damage"? I'm looking for that, but I can't find it, which is weird. If I'm recalling it correctly and you removed it, I'd consider putting it back in; notes like that on how to handle combat are always greatly appreciated.
I would also include some information on how the build fights mages and mage enemies. Outside of the Lord Stone's Magic Resist and the Elemental Protection perk you don't have any real anti-magic tools which could be devastating in high-leveled magic duels and vampire fights.
Roleplaying. I'm not so good with roleplaying sections and feedback on roleplaying sections in builds. It looks fine to me, personally. But maybe I'm missing something and someone else could look it over.
...that about wraps it up. Job well done, and I look forwards to seeing any future builds of yours.
The moment you open this build, you're struck by the inspiring opening image: it's this hooded mage-looking guy. The art style (oil painting-esque), no visible eyes, hunched back, supported by his staff, really helps to sell the feel that this character is kind of... weary. And his arm - it's bandaged and covered in lesions. This guy is in a lot of pain. Then you get to the build's opening text: "the tome that you hold in your hand is a chronicle of pain, of torment, and of discovery." It then blurbs on a bit about casting off the chains of magical ethics and inflicting destruction magic upon my own flesh.