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Sales Pitch for the Walking Cane

Tags: #Event:Weapons 
  • Member
    April 13, 2018

    “Afternoon sir, I can tell you’re a man of distinction.  Looking for a good walking cane, are you?  Please, right this way.

    Walking cane

    This here is our finest model, sir.  You won’t find nothing like this anywhere else, I can promise you that.  What they got over in the Mojave aint got nothing on this.  Too much focus on making it pretty rather than making it useful.

    You see this wood here?  Finest Aspen in the commonwealth, a good stiff wood for supporting yourself with.  Not too bad for whackin’ them kids round the head with, neither.  Others, though, not so good.  So long as you take the care when stepping, you could wrap a touch of barbed wire round the lower end, that’d cause some mighty fine cuts on anyone what came chasing you down.  Course, you could use nails instead, be about as useful as that barbed wire, but you can quite easily catch your own legs on those and that never ends well for nobody.  I did that myself once, went right through my leathers, would you believe it!  Either way, pretty easy thing to do, I reckon anybody who’s not a fool could do it.  And you don’t strike me as a fool, no sir.

    I would advise that you steer clear of, well, anywhere beyond the city limits ‘less you got a proper good gun of some kind.  While this cane is a good one, trust me on that, you don’t wanna be caught out by none of them super mutants or them robots.  If you’re relentless, you can swing this thing all day, and trust me, I have, but it aint gonna do squat against anything much tougher than a dog or a rat unless you’re very fast and quiet.  Able to ‘blitz in’, as it were.

    Anyway, what do you say?”



    Is it a standard end-game weapon?  Well, no, but it does quite well from the early-game into the mid-game point.  The two modifications, barbed and spiked, add the armour-piercing effect making it much more viable, especially considering they don't require any Blacksmith perks, but the base damage is rather low.  It has one of the lower Action Point costs in the game (20 points per swing, the same as a switchblade), and with a good legendary effect (I'm quite partial to Relentless for VATS chaining) it can last for much longer.

  • Member
    April 19, 2018

    Sorry for taking so long Joshua, looks great. Was a good read as well, simple as well as funny. :D

    Swing away Commonwealth, swing away!

  • April 22, 2018

    Excuse me, you east coast unrefined prospector-to-be, but us New Vegas citizens of refined disposition (by which, of course, I mean members of the White Glove Society, as really everybody else is nothing more than Jet fiends and nincompoops) do partake as well in the use of the most elegant of melee weapons, the walking cane. However, unlike you common-smelled brutes, we don't go around sticking barbed wire into our most elegant of armaments.


    On a more serious note, good work; I like how the three people who have participated in the event all have used the salesman approach (although in my case I was going more for a Shamwow feel).

  • May 14, 2018

    Hey Joshua, first just wanted to say that this was a really fun read, could easily imagine some guy coming up to you while playing and trying to sell you Walking Canes.

    Oh and this has been featured this on the Tamriel Vault Twitter Account

  • Member
    May 14, 2018
    Been away for a while, cool things to see you guys like it! But you White Glove guys, sure you have elegance, but we Bostonians don’t have bits of flesh stuck between our teeth (most of us, anyways). It is quite interesting we all went for the sales approach, and that they’re still all very different.
  • May 14, 2018

    Our most refined dining palate is none of your business, good sir. Also Dragonborn, I have noticed that the Tamrielvault Twitter has had two Weapons of the Apocalypse featured... out of three. And it's not even by posting order or list order, I'm second on both. Normally I wouldn't really care (I don't even have a Twitter), but I kinda feel alienated.

  • May 14, 2018

    Oh, if it helps tirrene I featured the last one a few minutes ago. And to clarify the process, I was just grabbing them randomly from the front page (the sidebar) one at a time and wasn't looking into post order, who was posting them, when they were posted or anything like that, just completely random and broken up over time to hopefully give some long-term exposure. 

    But yeah, sorry if it felt like I was alienating you mate, wasn't my intention at all.