Which do you think is more important? Backstory, or in-game actions? Do you find yourself relying on one or the other more as you roleplay or create profiles?

Backstory in my characters has never been a huge issue. In open world RPGs like Skyrim or Fallout, I only have the vaguest notion of what happened before the start of game. So really it is the in game actions which help define character for me. 

Have you ever tried to work around the preset backstory? How did it work out? Do you have any tips for working around the Nora and Nate backstory?

I enjoy pre-existing backgrounds. I tend not to work around them but embrace them. That said I do enjoy subversion. If there is a seem to be unravelled I enjoy pulling at it and others who do the same. Goldie's role playing as a synth is a good example of this. 

What events do you think make good character-defining moments? Have you experienced any of these?

Not nearly as much as I hoped I would. I have always enjoyed the bleakness of Fallout, that feeling of total futility. The audio tapes you find are my favourites, especially the ones which tell a sad tale. I guess they are less defining for the character but they add to immersion which sort of makes me feel in character. How will he or she react? Try and spread some goodness in a forsaken place? Or feel the utter futility of any positivity? 

Ah, a conversation that I'm mentioned in, how has my radar not picked up on it yet  My opinions here are more general, well for the ones that can be, so I'll try and separate my general thoughts and then how I approached Fallout 4 (On the other hand...some people won't like me doing that)

Which do you think is more important? Backstory, or in-game actions? Do you find yourself relying on one or the other more as you roleplay or create profiles?

That's a difficult question...For me, a Backstory is, what makes my character mine, the in-game actions for most games (especially Fallout 4) are rather linear, there are maybe 3 paths to each quest, each choice you make is limited in terms of how much it effects the quest at best, and when it does effect the quest it's usually in terms of rewards. To me, that limits a game massively, it isn't like real life where we could theoretically do anything when Joe from accounting tries to shake your hand, we have a strict number of responses we can give, and with that a set number of outcomes. 

A backstory however, can usually (at least in games I tend to write builds for) can be a lot more pliable. You can have a near infinite series of actions, responses and outcomes that will allow you to create literally any character. However, here comes part of my problem with Fallout 4, to me being locked into that beginning is, well massively restricting, more than even The Witcher (where at the very least your backstory is based off the actions of two previous games, each little thing changing something about Geralt) which is an example people usually use as a counter. Anyway, I'll rant about that in the next question ... To me a backstory represents a never-ending supply of interest that in-game actions just can't give.

Have you ever tried to work around the preset backstory? How did it work out? Do you have any tips for working around the Nora and Nate backstory?

MWAHAHAHA, free reign to rant a little. I have tried to work around the preset backstory, but in my eyes your still left with that incredibly thick barrier that still guides how you do things. At the heart of it, the game forces me to acknowledge that at the moment, Nora is a stay at home mum with a law degree and Nate is involved with the military in some way. You will always be forced into acknowledging this in your character by the game. Throughout what little (only 20+ hours) of Fallout 4 I played, there were many times when you were reminded of this beginning, hell the entire game is based off of it. 

So nope, I don't have tips and it worked out pretty poorly as evidenced by...well my discussion you mentioned. And I think i'll skip the final question, I really haven't played enough of the game to see any choices, but to me they seem minimal at best. 

brings up a really interesting discussion about whether the parent owes Shaun anything at all. I sided with Shaun on my first playthrough. The whole time, I justified it with what felt like a misplaced sense of guilt.

This is what my first character was tempted to do. Because of the weight of the first decision, I actually had to stop and think for awhile. Would I abandon Preston and the Minutemen, whom I had done so much for already? Or leave Paladin Danse hanging just so I can follow my son's manipulative organization? I eventually made the decision to go with the people that had actually helped me in the wasteland, not tried to kill me. I think my character was better off for it. 

Your first response is pretty interesting, as it's the complete opposite of me. I like to keep a huge backstory in my head with tons of motivation-creating events. In the end, it does get a little difficult to maintain it all, and I find it often shifting. Maybe it would be easier to do it your way after all.

I tend not to work around them but embrace them. That said I do enjoy subversion. If there is a seem to be unravelled I enjoy pulling at it and others who do the same. Goldie's role playing as a synth is a good example of this. 

Yeah, all those little things you can do that make something almost completely new out of the pre-existing backstory are really amazing. That is one of the best, and easiest, ways to make the most out of the backstory, by changing one aspect or adding just one layer. 

The audio tapes you find are my favourites, especially the ones which tell a sad tale. I guess they are less defining for the character but they add to immersion which sort of makes me feel in character.

That was always one of my favorite parts of Fallout too, was how the environment and the actions of others allowed you to infer so much about their situations,

the in-game actions for most games (especially Fallout 4) are rather linear, there are maybe 3 paths to each quest, each choice you make is limited in terms of how much it effects the quest at best, and when it does effect the quest it's usually in terms of rewards.

This is annoying, sure, but I think it's also to the point where you almost have to pretend something entirely different happened. In linear roleplaying like this, taking things in a different context than they were meant is the easiest way to make it your own.

A backstory however, can usually (at least in games I tend to write builds for) can be a lot more pliable. You can have a near infinite series of actions, responses and outcomes that will allow you to create literally any character

Backstories will always be the easiest things to manipulate. However, I also sometime struggle with limiting myself so that I don't have "This character did this, then the next day this, then the next day..." and on and on. 

your still left with that incredibly thick barrier that still guides how you do things. At the heart of it, the game forces me to acknowledge that at the moment, Nora is a stay at home mum with a law degree and Nate is involved with the military in some way. You will always be forced into acknowledging this in your character by the game

I'd suggest you read some of the other replies for really creative ways to work around this backstory. Example: the whole stay-at-home mom thing could have been a spy's cover. In the end though, it can only change so much, as every decision in this game is some form of "where do I go before I get to Shaun" or "Where do I look for Shaun". This definitely was not a Skyrim where everything was free and little was linked to the main quest except for the main quest itself. 

I'm with DB. The lack of writing my own back story is restrictive enough, but the choices are... Ineffective... Most times. I mean hell, I remember the Abernathy farm, telling the guy his daughter deserved to die. "Get off my farm, don't you let me see you ever again! Oh, also can you find my dead daughters locket?"

Where can you find those pre-war records you mentioned? I remember having a conversation with one of those robots in the USS Constitution in which the robot recognized me or something like that.