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Rank the Star Wars Movies

    • 558 posts
    December 9, 2017 3:51 PM EST

    I just finished watching episodes 1-6 this week in anticipation for The Last Jedi, I guess. Here goes nothing.

     

    1. Revenge of the Sith

    2. Attack of the Clones

    3. A New Hope

    4. The Empire Strikes Back

    5. The Phantom Menace

    6. The Last Jedi

    7. Return of the Jedi

    8. The Force Awakens

    9. Rogue One

     

    I know what you might be thinking, but this is not a troll list. This is a controversial list, so feel free to ask why I ranked certain movies where I did.

    How you would rank the Star Wars movies (include Rogue One or even T.V. shows if you want)?  

     


    This post was edited by Gollum at December 22, 2017 6:13 PM EST
    • 1439 posts
    December 9, 2017 4:09 PM EST

    Am I the only one who felt Mark's acting in the OT felt...Wooden at times?

    • 490 posts
    December 9, 2017 4:25 PM EST

    Gollum said:

    5. The Phantom Menace

    6. The Empire Strikes Back

    How much time have you got to explain this one? Lol

  • December 9, 2017 6:53 PM EST

    1. A New Hope

    2. The Empire Strikes Back

    3. Return of the Jedi

    4. The Phantom Menace (Mainly for Darth Maul)

    5. The Clone Wars

    6. Revenge of the Sith

    7. The Force Awakens

    Rogue One doesn't count and is okay.

    The Animated Movie is pretty good, Star Wars: Droids and Ewoks are dumb but hold a special place in my heart, Star Wars Clone Wars (2003) is amazing and was written and stuff by Genndy Tartakovsky, Star Wars Clone Wars (2008) was also pretty good, and Star Wars Rebels is really good as well.

    • 1467 posts
    December 9, 2017 7:00 PM EST

    I don't even understand how it's possible to think Empire is the worst, especially when compared to Attack of the Clones. Would love that explanation :P Though I kind of do get the idea of putting Revenge of the Sith up higher (not quite 1, but close) but it was just a pretty good movie and gets far too much shit.

    --------------------------------------------

    1 - Empire Strikes Back: Uhhh...I just liked every part of the movie. Not every line or action or anything, but I liked Cloud City, I liked Dagobah, I liked Hoth. Most of the other better movies have one or two parts that I enjoyed, but this had 3. 

    2 - Return of the Jedi: Even though the Ewoks are what people say ruins the movie, I think they're fine. The fight between Vader and Luke is probably one of the best, emotionally speaking in the series and everything about that entire chunk of the movie is just kind of great. The Endor stuff is, for the most part really cool as well.

    3- Force Awakens: Is just a really good movie. Sure it's taken a lot from A New Hope, though really they're allowed to, I think the way they handled the characters is enough to make it interesting. Keeping Snoke, Rey and Luke as more secretive figures is just more interesting than what happens in A New Hope, and it made me enjoy the movie.

    4- Revenge of the Sith: Mustafar. 

    5- A New Hope: Dunno, just not a huge fan. Maybe it just felt far too cheesy compared to the next couple of movies

    6- Attack of the Clones: Sand...that is all. I do actually like a lot of the idea in the prequels, Count Dooku is awesome (a less 'evil' Sith), Obi-Wan, once he's older, is probably one of my favorite characters and I'm fairly sure that Vapaad was created for Mace Windu and that's just an interesting idea of a fighting style.

    7- Phantom Menace: Child actors (bad ones), and only a single fight that makes the movie not shitty (Maul was awesome, can't deny it). Oh and Jar Jar but that's just a mistake gone wrong, not something that should destroy an entire movie

    8- Rogue One: I felt like it just didn't do anything, add anything to the universe and the only legitimately good part was the final scene of the movie with ole Vader.

    • 295 posts
    December 9, 2017 7:05 PM EST

    Henson said:

    Gollum said:

    5. The Phantom Menace

    6. The Empire Strikes Back

    How much time have you got to explain this one? Lol

    Haha, yeah, but everyone is entitled to their opinions. 

    For me?

    1. Empire Strikes Back - I love unhappy endings. Luke stepped up his acting chops in his crucial moments with Vader and the visuals are incredible. You feel cold as shit in Hoth and gross as shit in Dagobah. Even the color palate was diminished, more greys and darker tones. 

    2. A New Hope - my sentimentality and love for Alec Guinness gets me every time. And Leia was a badass. You don't realize the impression she made on girls my age. Then we got Ellen Ripley only a little later. They were some of the first females I saw that were seriously kicking ass, just as smart as the men without resorting to the Mary Sue mechanics and the male-bashing we get in my bottom movie of the list. 

    3. Revenge of the Sith - only really for seeing Anakin fall and the implimentation of Order 66 and its aftermath. Killing kids takes balls. Hated what they did to Amidala, they turned her from badass to wussy mess. So really three and four can switch depending on my mood.

    4. Attack of the Clones - Count Dooku of awesome. Old Farts kicking ass. I loved the Arena fight and Amidala was a badass. Also for funniest line in whole series, Anakin's opinions on sand. The creepiness of Amidala and Anakin's relationship is actually rather cool to me. 

    5. Phantom Menace - Ah Jar Jar almost ruined the movie for me, but Liam. Neeson. and the interesting risks taken with the aesthetics of the series. It's a pretty movie. 

    6. Return of the Jedi - Loved this when I was a kid because I was a kid, but now that I'm past 40, I loathe Ewoks and smile when they die. Most of the principles took holidays from actual acting to earn their paychecks, which is disappointing considering the strength of the acting in Empire, and it leaves me disatisfied. At the same time, I loved crazy lip lady singing her hot latin quasi fusion jazz at Jabba's sail barge, and disliked that the "enhanced version" got rid of her in favor of a broadwayesque review that doesn't scream "gangster sail barge" to me. 

    7. The Force Awakens - I. Hate. Mary. Sues. Men should really hate this movie, some of the most unfair, ridiculous dumbed-down portrayals of men I've ever seen in a movie. I hate this movie for them and I'm a woman. 

    EDIT: Forgot to rank Rogue 1 - I wasn't emotionally invested in any character except the robot. That is bad. This doesn't happen when you write, uh, actual characters instead of just using broad brush strokes to paint a facade of diversity when instead you should just focus on writing. Perhaps the almost but not quite a Jedi, I had some sympathy for, I didn't care about anyone else. I don't even know their names and I've seen the movie twice (because I love my fiance and he wanted to see it again). What does that tell you? I liked seeing Tarkin again. That's sad, when you liked the dude they made digital. Made me want to go see Peter Cushing movies again. 


    This post was edited by The Long-Chapper at December 9, 2017 7:13 PM EST
    • 558 posts
    December 9, 2017 7:47 PM EST

    Henson said:

    Gollum said:

    5. The Phantom Menace

    6. The Empire Strikes Back

    How much time have you got to explain this one? Lol

    My main conflict with The Empire Strikes Back is going to sound like a small nitpick, but the problem is that the problem is a problem in almost the entire film. The issue with TESB is R2-D2, Chewbacca, and C-3PO. After Hoth, they do not shut up. Almost every freaking scene with Luke in Degobah R2 is making incessant noise. Chewbacca is doing the same thing when with the rest of the crew. People rag on The Phantom Menace because of Jar Jar, but at least you could understand what he is saying. R2 and Chewy are just making noise. And hearing C3PO's blubbering on top of Chewbacca's moaning made me want to jam a knife in my ear. Am I really supposed to enjoy watching an hour and a half of this? It's not enjoyable. And, just to get this out there, I loved Hoth, Yoda (EDIT: This sounds like a contradiction, but I worded this poorly. Yoda himself was epic along with the accompanying soundtrack, omitting his introduction to Luke, of course. I hated R2 in these scenes ruining the mood. What is the purpose of hearing beep boop during Luke's training. It subtracts, not adds from the scene), and Vader scenes. Especially the Vader scenes. 

    The only reason I have TPM higher is because I would gladly rewatch it over TESB. And I think that TPM is a pointless (somewhat uninteresting) film which adds basically nothing to the rest of the prequels. All it is is Anikin's origin story. 


    This post was edited by Gollum at December 9, 2017 9:18 PM EST
    • 558 posts
    December 9, 2017 9:14 PM EST

    Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921) said:

    I don't even understand how it's possible to think Empire is the worst, especially when compared to Attack of the Clones. Would love that explanation :P Though I kind of do get the idea of putting Revenge of the Sith up higher (not quite 1, but close) but it was just a pretty good movie and gets far too much shit.

    --------------------------------------------

    1 - Empire Strikes Back: Uhhh...I just liked every part of the movie. Not every line or action or anything, but I liked Cloud City, I liked Dagobah, I liked Hoth. Most of the other better movies have one or two parts that I enjoyed, but this had 3. 

    2 - Return of the Jedi: Even though the Ewoks are what people say ruins the movie, I think they're fine. The fight between Vader and Luke is probably one of the best, emotionally speaking in the series and everything about that entire chunk of the movie is just kind of great. The Endor stuff is, for the most part really cool as well.

    3- Force Awakens: Is just a really good movie. Sure it's taken a lot from A New Hope, though really they're allowed to, I think the way they handled the characters is enough to make it interesting. Keeping Snoke, Rey and Luke as more secretive figures is just more interesting than what happens in A New Hope, and it made me enjoy the movie.

    4- Revenge of the Sith: Mustafar. 

    5- A New Hope: Dunno, just not a huge fan. Maybe it just felt far too cheesy compared to the next couple of movies

    6- Attack of the Clones: Sand...that is all. I do actually like a lot of the idea in the prequels, Count Dooku is awesome (a less 'evil' Sith), Obi-Wan, once he's older, is probably one of my favorite characters and I'm fairly sure that Vapaad was created for Mace Windu and that's just an interesting idea of a fighting style.

    7- Phantom Menace: Child actors (bad ones), and only a single fight that makes the movie not shitty (Maul was awesome, can't deny it). Oh and Jar Jar but that's just a mistake gone wrong, not something that should destroy an entire movie

    8- Rogue One: I felt like it just didn't do anything, add anything to the universe and the only legitimately good part was the final scene of the movie with ole Vader.

    I will explain why I like Attack of the Clones. The part where Ani and Obi were chasing that assassin in Coruscant all the way through into the nightclub was great. It showed a side of Couruscant we haven't seen before. It looked dirty and slummy. One of the great things about the prequel trilogy was worldbuilding, and you can't deny that. "Wanna buy some death sticks?" was probably one of the funniest moments in Star Wars, period. It totally caught me off guard. Obi Wan's detective mission to find the bounty hunter (Jango) was great. There is nothing like it in the other episodes and we get a bounty hunter who is actually badass. Like Long Chapper, I enjoyed the romance between Anakin and Padme. Anakin was supposed to be kind of creepy, and the reason Padme liked Ani was explained in the movie. If you watch the movie instead of random reviews, a lot of the issues with the film are resolved on their own. Anakin's slaughter of the sand people for revenge was great. We got to see the beginnings of Vader start to form. Not to mention the wonderful, emotional acting from Anakin and Shmi. The soundtrack through all of this was great and used perfectly. I could go on. I will go on. Christopher Lee was great. His scene when he was talking to the imprisoned Obi Wan completely sucked the air out of the room and was very immersive. The arena scene was great because we got to see how each Padme, Obi, and Ani each dealt wth their monster. Jango Fett and Mace Windu were also pretty cool once the Jedi started springing out of nowhere. The beginning of the Clone War was neat to see. I just enjoyed the scale of the battle. The final scene where the star destroyer things were shown as the Imperial March was playing was great. Epic foreshadowing, no? There is less terrible comic relief to be found than in TPM and the OT. Underrated movie. That line about sand isn't even that bad. It fit the context of the conversation. There are far better examples of bad dialogue in Star Wars. 

    Compare this to TESB. Hoth was amazing, then it goes downhill. Solo and co. get chased and hide in an asteroid field (with Chewy uttering a wail every five seconds and C3PO whining as loud and fast as he can. The only reason people like Chewy and the droids but not Jar Jar has to be nostalgia, right?). Luke goes to Degobah and meets Yoda (who for some reason tries to be as annoying as utterly possible when he first meets him). It is hard to get a sense of wonderment when you have a droid that is making more noise than a droid ever has before. Ooh the force--beep boop ewiufnpqiwaub beep boop. Yoda had some sick one liners, though. All of this takes way to long. Let's be honest, who gives a shit about Han hiding in an asteroid field when we could be getting some sweet time with Yoda? Bespin is alright, but it wasn't amazing. They had a bad feeling about it, something bad happened. Darth Vader fight was the best part of the film. Han getting frozen was cool, too. I can understand why people like it, because it appears to have the least amount of flaws of all of the movies. I just can't like it.


    This post was edited by Gollum at December 18, 2017 1:53 PM EST
    • 1439 posts
    December 9, 2017 9:21 PM EST

    Gollum said:

    Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921) said:

    I don't even understand how it's possible to think Empire is the worst, especially when compared to Attack of the Clones. Would love that explanation :P Though I kind of do get the idea of putting Revenge of the Sith up higher (not quite 1, but close) but it was just a pretty good movie and gets far too much shit.

    --------------------------------------------

    1 - Empire Strikes Back: Uhhh...I just liked every part of the movie. Not every line or action or anything, but I liked Cloud City, I liked Dagobah, I liked Hoth. Most of the other better movies have one or two parts that I enjoyed, but this had 3. 

    2 - Return of the Jedi: Even though the Ewoks are what people say ruins the movie, I think they're fine. The fight between Vader and Luke is probably one of the best, emotionally speaking in the series and everything about that entire chunk of the movie is just kind of great. The Endor stuff is, for the most part really cool as well.

    3- Force Awakens: Is just a really good movie. Sure it's taken a lot from A New Hope, though really they're allowed to, I think the way they handled the characters is enough to make it interesting. Keeping Snoke, Rey and Luke as more secretive figures is just more interesting than what happens in A New Hope, and it made me enjoy the movie.

    4- Revenge of the Sith: Mustafar. 

    5- A New Hope: Dunno, just not a huge fan. Maybe it just felt far too cheesy compared to the next couple of movies

    6- Attack of the Clones: Sand...that is all. I do actually like a lot of the idea in the prequels, Count Dooku is awesome (a less 'evil' Sith), Obi-Wan, once he's older, is probably one of my favorite characters and I'm fairly sure that Vapaad was created for Mace Windu and that's just an interesting idea of a fighting style.

    7- Phantom Menace: Child actors (bad ones), and only a single fight that makes the movie not shitty (Maul was awesome, can't deny it). Oh and Jar Jar but that's just a mistake gone wrong, not something that should destroy an entire movie

    8- Rogue One: I felt like it just didn't do anything, add anything to the universe and the only legitimately good part was the final scene of the movie with ole Vader.

    I will explain why I like Attack of the Clones. The part where Ani and Obi were chasing that assassin in Coruscant all the way through into the cantina place was great. "Wanna buy some death sticks?" Obi Wan's detective mission to find the bounty hunter (Jango) was great. There is nothing like it in the other episodes and we get a bounty hunter who is actually badass. Like Long Chapper, I enjoyed the romance between Anakin and Padme (it was great). Anakin's slaughter of the sand people for revenge was great. We got to see the beginnings of Vader start to form. The soundtrack through all of this was great and used perfectly. I could go on. I will go on. Christopher Lee was great. The arena scene was great and beginning of the Clone War was great. The final scene where the star destroyer things were shown as the Imperial March was playing was great. There is no terrible comic relief to be found. Underrated movie. That line about sand isn't even that bad. It fit the context of the conversation and if anybody hates sand, it's the guy who was raised as a slave on a desert planet. There are far better examples of bad dialogue in Star Wars. 

    Compare this to TESB. Hoth was amazing, then it goes downhill. Solo and co. get chased and hide in an asteroid field (with Chewy uttering a wail every five seconds and C3PO whining as loud and fast as he can). Luke goes to Degobah and meets Yoda (who for some reason tries to be as annoying as utterly possible when he first meets him). It is hard to get a sense of wonderment when you have a droid that is making more noise than a droid ever has before. Ooh the force--beep boop ewiufnpqiwaub beep boop. Yoda had some sick one liners, though. All of this takes way to long. Bespin is alright, but it wasn't amazing. Darth Vader fight was the best part of the film. Han getting frozen was cool, too. But I wouldn't watch this film again.

    Well, the common belief is either A. Yoda was going a bit mad due to isolation and age, as well as testing Luke, or B. In accordance with The Heroes Journey, Yoda played the part of the seemingly irrelevant guide creature who turns out to be a wise mentor 

    • 558 posts
    December 9, 2017 9:23 PM EST

    Meh said:

    1. A New Hope

    2. The Empire Strikes Back

    3. Return of the Jedi

    4. The Phantom Menace (Mainly for Darth Maul)

    5. The Clone Wars

    6. Revenge of the Sith

    7. The Force Awakens

    Rogue One doesn't count and is okay.

    The Animated Movie is pretty good, Star Wars: Droids and Ewoks are dumb but hold a special place in my heart, Star Wars Clone Wars (2003) is amazing and was written and stuff by Genndy Tartakovsky, Star Wars Clone Wars (2008) was also pretty good, and Star Wars Rebels is really good as well.

    A New Hope is the best of the original trilogy, for sure. It isn't very polished, but it had magic that the other films in the trilogy didn't seem to capture.

    • 558 posts
    December 9, 2017 9:34 PM EST

    @Chris I totally believe that Yoda was supposed to be an irrelevant creature that turned out to be a wise mentor . I just didn't enjoy how it was attempted in this film. He wasn't just irrelevant, he was made actively annoying by throwing Luke's supplies everywhere and eating his food for a reason that was not explained (writer probably tried to make the irrelevant creature/wise mentor as big of a surprise as possible. How could this ugly, rude, annoying, uncivilized, unsocialized green thing be a wise mentor? Nobody knows). 


    This post was edited by Gollum at December 9, 2017 9:34 PM EST
  • December 9, 2017 9:54 PM EST

    This should clear up the Yoda thing.

    • 558 posts
    December 10, 2017 2:45 AM EST
    Also, one of the biggest reasons I have episode 2 and 3 the highest on my list is because of the music. The music in those films are just superior to the other films. Truly remarkable and beautiful. The composer seemed to get better as he went along.
    • 278 posts
    December 10, 2017 7:22 PM EST

    Gollum..... you're kidding. I have no problems with your list, except.....The Revenge of the Sith was abhorrent. The entire purpose of the Prequels was to establish the lore. They did that well, but everything else was terrible. The most therapeutic experience of my life was slaughtering Gungans on Naboo in SWBF2. 

    In my opinion, it goes as follows. 

    1. Empire Strikes Back

    2. A New Hope

    3. Rogue One

    4. Return of the Jedi

    5. The Force Awakens

    6. Revenge of the Sith

    7. Attack of the Clones 

    8. The Phantom Menace

    Yeah, Mark Hamill is soemtimes a little off, but this saga was so revolutionary, it was the Sci-Fi movie that brought them into the light, like Skyrim was the RPG that brought them to a mainstream western audience. It's just such a revolutionary movie series. Even Disney is handling it alright. In my opinion, I think Hayden Christensen should burn in a special corner of hell, occupied solely by Jar Jar Binks.

    • 1439 posts
    December 10, 2017 7:25 PM EST

    Wulfhedinn said:

    Gollum..... you're kidding. I have no problems with your list, except.....The Revenge of the Sith was abhorrent. The entire purpose of the Prequels was to establish the lore. They did that well, but everything else was terrible. The most therapeutic experience of my life was slaughtering Gungans on Naboo in SWBF2. 

    In my opinion, it goes as follows. 

    1. Empire Strikes Back

    2. A New Hope

    3. Rogue One

    4. Return of the Jedi

    5. The Force Awakens

    6. Revenge of the Sith

    7. Attack of the Clones 

    8. The Phantom Menace

    Yeah, Mark Hamill is soemtimes a little off, but this saga was so revolutionary, it was the Sci-Fi movie that brought them into the light, like Skyrim was the RPG that brought them to a mainstream western audience. It's just such a revolutionary movie series. Even Disney is handling it alright. In my opinion, I think Hayden Christensen should burn in a special corner of hell, occupied solely by Jar Jar Binks.

    Actually,  Hayden is actually pretty good as a body actor. Also, the fight scenes

    • 260 posts
    December 10, 2017 7:40 PM EST

    First of all, I applaud you for stating your opinion despite the controversy around the Prequel Trilogy. Takes guts, man. I actually haven't seen the prequels, but I'll look into them at some point. I do, however, think Rogue One is really good, though that's in large part due to me liking dark and gritty stuff; I can see how people may not like it. Still, that Vader scene near the end... Hnng.

    • 558 posts
    December 10, 2017 11:55 PM EST
    @Wulfhedinn Nope, I'm not kidding. Mark Hamill was a little off? His delivery was questionable throughout the OT. Carrie Fisher was also a poor actress. Harry Ford was pretty believable, but as far as a secondary character, Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan was superior. Just to throw this out there, the dialogue was pretty bad in every Star Wars movie. The OT was basically a Western set in space, and the only film that did this effectively was A New Hope. I prefer the more complex, overarching story of the prequels with its amazing score improved the scenes immensely. The prequels wouldn't be half the movies they are without their godly soundtrack. I think Chewbacca should burn in hell, along with Jar Jar, C3PO and R2D2! Episodes 2 and 3 were made better with the lack of or diminished role of terrible comedic characters. These two films were dark, beautiful, and serious. They actually earn the title of Star Wars, while the OT could be called the Luke Skywalker Trilogy. The Original Trilogy was revolutionary, but so was the Prequel Trilogy. They literally were inventing digital cameras, and the CGI was better than many films to come out after.
    • 558 posts
    December 11, 2017 12:02 AM EST
    @Tenebrous Lol thank you. While what trilogy is better is subjective, the prequels get unnecessary hate. Watching 1-6 was enlightening, because I got to see that the OT suffered from the exact same problems that people claim the prequels have. None of these films are amazing. And if you like dark and gritty, you'll like the prequel trilogy. I haven't seen Rogue One, but everyone seems like that Vader scene is one not to miss! I'll check it out for sure.
    • 1439 posts
    December 11, 2017 12:57 AM EST

    Gollum said: @Wulfhedinn Nope, I'm not kidding. Mark Hamill was a little off? His delivery was questionable throughout the OT. Carrie Fisher was also a poor actress. Harry Ford was pretty believable, but as far as a secondary character, Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan was superior. Just to throw this out there, the dialogue was pretty bad in every Star Wars movie. The OT was basically a Western set in space, and the only film that did this effectively was A New Hope. I prefer the more complex, overarching story of the prequels with its amazing score improved the scenes immensely. The prequels wouldn't be half the movies they are without their godly soundtrack. I think Chewbacca should burn in hell, along with Jar Jar, C3PO and R2D2! Episodes 2 and 3 were made better with the lack of or diminished role of terrible comedic characters. These two films were dark, beautiful, and serious. They actually earn the title of Star Wars, while the OT could be called the Luke Skywalker Trilogy. The Original Trilogy was revolutionary, but so was the Prequel Trilogy. They literally were inventing digital cameras, and the CGI was better than many films to come out after.
    Also, McGregor apparently hated the films, calling them "nonsensical mumbo jumbo" or something like that  

    • 1439 posts
    December 11, 2017 1:00 AM EST

    Gollum said: @Wulfhedinn Nope, I'm not kidding. Mark Hamill was a little off? His delivery was questionable throughout the OT. Carrie Fisher was also a poor actress. Harry Ford was pretty believable, but as far as a secondary character, Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan was superior. Just to throw this out there, the dialogue was pretty bad in every Star Wars movie. The OT was basically a Western set in space, and the only film that did this effectively was A New Hope. I prefer the more complex, overarching story of the prequels with its amazing score improved the scenes immensely. The prequels wouldn't be half the movies they are without their godly soundtrack. I think Chewbacca should burn in hell, along with Jar Jar, C3PO and R2D2! Episodes 2 and 3 were made better with the lack of or diminished role of terrible comedic characters. These two films were dark, beautiful, and serious. They actually earn the title of Star Wars, while the OT could be called the Luke Skywalker Trilogy. The Original Trilogy was revolutionary, but so was the Prequel Trilogy. They literally were inventing digital cameras, and the CGI was better than many films to come out after.
    Heck, the prequels were more Space Opera and showed more. Also, theres a wonderful comic based on the original scripts for Star Wars, let me find a link?

    • 278 posts
    December 11, 2017 1:03 AM EST

    Please stop and take back your statements thank you :)

    • 558 posts
    December 11, 2017 1:25 AM EST
    @Wulfhedinn What don't you like about the prequels?
    • 558 posts
    December 11, 2017 9:14 PM EST
    The Long-Chapper said:

    Henson said:

    Gollum said:

    5. The Phantom Menace

    6. The Empire Strikes Back

    How much time have you got to explain this one? Lol

    Haha, yeah, but everyone is entitled to their opinions. 

    For me?

    1. Empire Strikes Back - I love unhappy endings. Luke stepped up his acting chops in his crucial moments with Vader and the visuals are incredible. You feel cold as shit in Hoth and gross as shit in Dagobah. Even the color palate was diminished, more greys and darker tones. 

    2. A New Hope - my sentimentality and love for Alec Guinness gets me every time. And Leia was a badass. You don't realize the impression she made on girls my age. Then we got Ellen Ripley only a little later. They were some of the first females I saw that were seriously kicking ass, just as smart as the men without resorting to the Mary Sue mechanics and the male-bashing we get in my bottom movie of the list. 

    3. Revenge of the Sith - only really for seeing Anakin fall and the implimentation of Order 66 and its aftermath. Killing kids takes balls. Hated what they did to Amidala, they turned her from badass to wussy mess. So really three and four can switch depending on my mood.

    4. Attack of the Clones - Count Dooku of awesome. Old Farts kicking ass. I loved the Arena fight and Amidala was a badass. Also for funniest line in whole series, Anakin's opinions on sand. The creepiness of Amidala and Anakin's relationship is actually rather cool to me. 

    5. Phantom Menace - Ah Jar Jar almost ruined the movie for me, but Liam. Neeson. and the interesting risks taken with the aesthetics of the series. It's a pretty movie. 

    6. Return of the Jedi - Loved this when I was a kid because I was a kid, but now that I'm past 40, I loathe Ewoks and smile when they die. Most of the principles took holidays from actual acting to earn their paychecks, which is disappointing considering the strength of the acting in Empire, and it leaves me disatisfied. At the same time, I loved crazy lip lady singing her hot latin quasi fusion jazz at Jabba's sail barge, and disliked that the "enhanced version" got rid of her in favor of a broadwayesque review that doesn't scream "gangster sail barge" to me. 

    7. The Force Awakens - I. Hate. Mary. Sues. Men should really hate this movie, some of the most unfair, ridiculous dumbed-down portrayals of men I've ever seen in a movie. I hate this movie for them and I'm a woman. 

    EDIT: Forgot to rank Rogue 1 - I wasn't emotionally invested in any character except the robot. That is bad. This doesn't happen when you write, uh, actual characters instead of just using broad brush strokes to paint a facade of diversity when instead you should just focus on writing. Perhaps the almost but not quite a Jedi, I had some sympathy for, I didn't care about anyone else. I don't even know their names and I've seen the movie twice (because I love my fiance and he wanted to see it again). What does that tell you? I liked seeing Tarkin again. That's sad, when you liked the dude they made digital. Made me want to go see Peter Cushing movies again. 

    You're right about TESB. Hoth and Degobah really were visually amazing. A New Hope is unpolished and dated, but it had a sense of camaraderie that the others didn't have. Revenge of the Sith haunts me. Yeah, after rewatching Attack of the Clones, I don't really get a ton the hate it recieves. Dooku was a lot better than I remembered. Qui Gon was great and I really think that it is the most visually stunning Star Wars (except maybe the Gungan vs Droid battle). Lol I actually didn't hate the Ewoks in RotJ. I did, however, facepalm whenever I was subjected to that live performance in Jabba's palace. TFA is really bad. Rey is probably supposed to be a Jedi with amnesia, right? Still doesn't help that she never really had a failure and the supporting cast was a socially retarded white knight that served as comic relief and a washed up Han Solo with awful dialogue. And Chewy! They marketed practical effects and didn't use a single miniature lol. Which white male will J. J. Affirmative Action kill in The Last Jedi? Luke or Kylo?
    • 558 posts
    December 12, 2017 5:38 PM EST
    Just watched Rogue One. It was... a movie? The first half was a mess with pretty bad editing, and the second half lasted too long. Nonstop blasting was annoying (and so was the monk's chanting and his friend's Boromir reenactment). The ending was cool I guess. The soundtrack was kind of lame and Scarif CGI islands were pretty bad. I never thought about Vader taking baths before, but I don't know why I needed to see it in Rogue One. The film is entirely skippable when watching the films chronologically.
    • 1467 posts
    December 12, 2017 6:07 PM EST

    It's entirely skippable for just about any reason IMO. The worst part, in my opinion, is one of Vader's lines. God damn Darth Vader making a pun about Force Choke (You wouldn't want to 'choke' on your aspirations or whatever the line was). Might be fine if you hadn't watched the prequels, but after how depressing Anikan was for the whole third movie, I just can't see Vader making puns. Though, every character was just pretty terrible, except maybe the guy that just didn't talk much. Like it when subpar movies have characters that don't talk.

    Man, dunno. The first test of the Death Star was kind of cool to see on screen, and it was interesting to see what it'd do to just one city. We've seen it destroy planets and giant space cruisers, but the city was kind of great. Bit of a shame that they didn't work in some sort of Imperial conflict there though, everyone seemed entirely fine with destroying a city with tens/hundreds of thousands of people living in it. Seems like you could've worked that in at some point, maybe have him get involved with the Rebels or really anything to say that the Empire isn't all terrible. Because until FA we don't see that, which makes it all the more jarring when we do.