Forums » The Lounge

Ideas for Dark Fantasy Novel

    • 273 posts
    June 19, 2016 8:31 AM EDT

    This is a plan for the world my novel is set in, the genre is Dark Fantasy, any and all comments, critisisms and ideas are welcome.


    The All-Father

    The All-Father, otherwise known as Te Aulint-Kria, was the first being in the void, the first contradiction to the nothingness. As the first contradiction, the All-Father unleashed the power of Unbound Disparity, a force that he himself exerted in his aura uncontrollably.

    Unbound Disparity

    Unbound Disparity is a force that has existed since the All-Father was birthed as the first something from the nothingness of the void and will exist until the last something is no more. Unbound Disparity is the forming of universes within universes, forever conflicting on the boundaries of each universes existences, Unbound Disparity defines good from evil, light from dark, black from white, it is everything and yet is nothing, forever in perfect balance; without one the other cannot exist.

    The Ethereal Plane

    The Ethereal Plane is the space between the universes created by Unbound Disparity; it would later become inhabited by the Un-Gods and the Elves.

    The Maitrenach

    The Maitrenach is a great body of celestial energy that existed within Relneta, one of the billions of universes formed by Unbound Disparity. The Maitrenach was a great contradiction to the Unbound Disparity, an oddity, even in the billions of other universes. Unbound Disparity combated this with the complete fracturing of the Maitrenach, shattering it into several pieces, which fell into the great clouds of something within the nothingness of Relneta.

    The Gods

    The three largest fragments of the Maitrenach, though torn apart, drifted through the expanse of cloud. The clouds were traces of what could be something and the Maitrenach borne from nothing and torn asunder by something that is nothing, the great celestial energy merged with the potential of the clouds. This caused the birth of Yjorma, Lady of Lightning, who would later be revered as a Goddess of Storms, then came Fhetis, Father of Frost, who would later be revered as the God of Snow, finally came Sothil, Master of the Sand, who would later be revered as the God of the Desert. These deific beings were completely unaware of each others existence, nor did they understand the nature of the Maitrenach that had given them birth.

    The Formation of Aitu

    From the remaining energy of the Maitrenach fragment she was borne from, Yjorma formed the land, stretching flat land, nothing of interest. Fhetis did the same, being formed from the same Maitrenach, however he envisioned a different land, than the others, envisioning land of static, yet finite; he brought forth icy plains and snowy meadows. Sothil followed the same pattern, however, his vision of land was that of sand, crumbling and yet eternal, he formed the barren desert lands and blasted plains. Where the three lands met the three different natures of land caused a grand reaction, blasting back much of the lands and creating a new form, fickle and shifting water and the stretching oceans. Thus, Aitu was formed. Yjorma’s Land was known as Ellinit, Fhetis’ as Fohrundus and Sothil’s as Vurentil.

    The Birth of the First Races

    Yjorma’s element was lightning, and so she used the energy of her Maitrenach fragment to birth Rahmet, her first son, God of Wrath and first of the Giants, the Giants were as powerful and relentless as Yjorma’s lightning. Fhetis’ element was frost and so used energy from his Matreinach fragment to give birth to the Kha-Nen, perfectly adapted to survive the snowy wastelands he had created; his firstborn was known as Vagen who became the leader of the Kha-Nen race. Finally, Sothil birthed the Saenn, a race of dark-skinned humanoids that shared much of their anatomy with snakes, who could survive the harshest heat and the whipping of his sand; his firstborn was known as Keleia, who became the Goddess of Feasts to the Saenn after the Great Manducation.

    The Creation of Nature

    Yjorma’s second child was known as Vhumi, who would be a great influence in Aitu. Vhumi gave birth to all manner of great and small beasts, trees and plants, for this she was often considered a Goddess of Beauty, however her stature was as the Goddess of Life, Fertility and the Sun. The seeds of Vhumi’s miracle of nature soon covered all of Aitu. Vhumi also created the Sun, a ball of limitless energy that fed her creations and gave them life. Ailem did a similar thing to his sister, creating an unlimited supply of magical energy known as the Moon, it caused the magic users souls to regenerate more quickly whilst in it’s light; the time when the sun was out was called the day and the time when the moon roamed the sky was named night.

    The Birth of Magic

    Ailem, the youngest child of Yjorma was as gifted as both his siblings, he invented one of the most influential abilities on Aitu; magic. Ailem was indisputably the most intelligent being on Aitu, his creation was based on manipulating the soul placed within each being that connected them back to the Matreinach. Using parts of the soul allows any and all living beings to manipulate the world around them and perform almost all manner of feats, however it could not be used without intelligence and was very dangerous, since failure could have disastrous consequences. The soul itself would eventually regenerate, but only as long as it remained within a body, the process was sped up by the moonlight. Eventually, the power of Magic seeped into the nature of the world itself and spread to all corners of Aitu. 

    The Discplined Forms of Magic

    Healing magic is used to repair injuries and cure illnesses or diseases, the greater the feat, the more of the soul it drains. It requires the least amount of intelligence out of any of the forms of magic. People who practise this school are known as “Healers” or “Clerics”

    Sealing is an obscure form of magic that is based on trapping a force, being or power within an object or other being, the more powerful the being, the stronger the spell must be, the stronger the spell must be the more energy is drained from the caster. Those who practise this school are known as “Sealers”.

    Enchanting is a common form of magic that most intelligent warriors are at least somewhat knowledgeable in. It is based around binding a spell effect to a weapon or piece of clothing or armour to give it beneficial effects or not so beneficial effects to the user. The caster must have mastered the spell they wish to bind to the item beforehand, however. Those who practise this school are known as “Enchanters”.

    Shapeshifting (sometimes called Skinchanging) is an obscure form of magic that comes from being very much attached to a certain terrain and its wildlife, to the point where you can transform into any animal from within the areas range of animals. This form of magic is often practised by Druids and does not strain the user much to cast, however, remaining in animal form for too long can trap the caster within the body forever. Those who practise this school are known as “Shapeshifters”or “Skinchangers”, those who couple it with alchemical knowledge are known as “Druids”.

    Summoning is the opposite of Sealing and is used to call upon an item or creature and transport them to a certain area, unless they resist. The larger the object or being that is moved, the more energy it drains from the user. Those who practise this school are known as “Conjurers" or "Summoners".

    Mindbending is a form of magic only known by a select few, it allows one to manipulate the thoughts and feelings and thus, the actions of sentient beings, it requires the most intelligence out of the forms of magic and is perhaps one of the most resourceful for an ambitious soul. The more intelligent the person it is attempted to be used on, the more it drains the caster. Those who practise this school are known as “Mindbenders” or “Tricksters”.

    Elemancy is the rarest form of magic, it requires no intelligence to use and if you are not born with it, then it is almost impossible to gain the ability. It gives the gifted being power over the original elements: Water, Lightning, Earth and Wind, the way the caster uses this is up to them, but the stronger the spell the more it drains the user. The gifted being can only control one of the four elements. Those who wield this magic are known as “Elementalists” or “Elemancers”.

    Pyromancy is another rare form of magic; it is the manipulation of fire, the unnatural element. It requires moderate intelligence to wield and drains the user depending on the intensity of their spell. The more Pyromancy is learned and the more powerful the “Pyromancer” becomes, the more dragon-like they shall appear; it begins with gnarled fingernails, then a tail, then horns, then slit pupils, then fiery eyes and finally, scales.

    Most other forms of magic fall under “Miscellaneous”, most of these spells are utility spells used for certain tasks or combat situations, such as levitation, teleportation, telepathy, telekinesis and unlocking.

    Those who practise more than one school of magic are known as “Sorcerers”.

    On The Undisciplined Forms of Magic

    The above schools of magic are the disciplined schools that have been pre-made and are accessible to all, they can be taught by scholars and teachers in schools, however, it is not unheard of for Mages to train themselves to use unique magic. The creation of new forms of Magic is not for the faint of heart or weak of mind, doing so requires incredible intelligence, rigorous training, an unyielding will and the creator must know themselves incredibly well. Examples of undisciplined forms of magic are the Snow magic and the Scale magic of the Kha-Nen, the Light magic of Oronel, the First Archmage as well as the Corruption magic of Vhendel, the Lord of Heretics.

    The Creation of Fire and the Birth of the Dragons

    During a storm, a particularly special bolt of Yjorma’s lightning caused one of her daughter’s trees to combust into flames. With fire came shadow, the shadows cast by the fire changed the world, those caught in the shadows of the flame became savage, hostile and bloodthirsty. Then, from the heart of the fire, came the most fearsome beasts of all; Dragons. The Dragons were demons, borne purely of the flame and with no souls to call their own, the gargantuan creatures possessed the power of the fire that birthed them and used it to destroy all in their path. The Dragons brought with them the concept of death, mortality was now a very real concept, to combat this, Yjorma built the afterlife using the final energy from her Maitrenach fragment, a place that good and noble souls could go after death, a safe haven for those who did well in life.

    The Dragon War

    A mighty war sparked between the Giants and the Dragons, one that would shape the world again. The Dragons did not die easily, their fire was tenacious and they lacked any fear or mercy. Yjorma’s almighty lightning struck them from the sky, Rahmet unleashed his wrath in a blind fury of destruction, Vhumi turned her largest and mightiest beasts against the Dragons and Ailem led the Giants with the force of powerful magic.

    The End of the Dragon War

    Yjorma was struck dead in battle, infront of Rahmet, her eldest. Befitting of his title, God of Wrath, he unleashed the mightiest spell ever recorded, a spell that still hasn’t been replicated today by anyone, giant or otherwise. The spell broke into the bodies of thousands of Giants and stole their souls, draining them all to nothing to fuel Rahmets spell, which caused the death of so many dragons that it brought them to almost total extinction. With this deed, Rahmet was named the God of War; in his shame for sacrificing his brothers, he went into self-exile. Over the next few hundred years, the Dragons corpses became mountains.

    The Remaining Dragons 

     The last of the Dragons fled Ellinit and found Fohrundus in the North and attacked it without hesitation. Fhetis fought with tooth and claw, manipulating frost and snow and the savage fighting style of his Kha-Nen children to end the last of the Dragons. From the scales of the Dragons, the Kha-Nen performed a special kind of magic, creating the Drakes, a race of small Dragons that could be tamed and that the Kha-Nen would eventually fly into battle on. The Dragons here did too eventually become mountains.

    The Birth of Humans

    As the Dragon War was raging, the smaller Giants were pushed aside by their brother and sister Giants. They went far away from the conflict, further to the North of the continent, eventually they started to become smaller and more sly than their Giant brethren, within the next few hundred years the Giants had become Humans and had forgotten all ties to their Giant kin.

    The Un-Gods

    Ailem began to teach a select group of particularly intelligent Giants himself, these three were named Hrontha, Baleriik and Serlinta. The three were intrigued with humans and wished to learn of their nature, Ailem advised against this and enforced a more disciplined use of their magical talent. Hrontha became obsessed with Humans manipulative nature and sexual desires, Baleriik became obsessed with the political interest of Humans and their often deceitful intent and Serlinta became obsessed with Humans emotional desires and desire to be more powerful. Eventually, the three disappeared from Ailem’s lectures and became completely consumed by their obsession, they each discovered fragments of the Maitrenach causing them to become Elves and vanished into the ethereal plane, soon becoming known as the Un-Gods. The Un-Gods would sometimes be worshipped for their gifts in their different fields of power, but no gift is without a price; the price is normally the soul of the one receiving the gift to be a slave to them in the Ethereal Plane for all eternity.

    The Nature of the Mortal Soul

    The mortal soul is particularly unique, whilst within a body; the only one that can use its energy is the host unless consent is given to another. Loss of the soul does not cause the body to lose any qualities it originally had physical, mental or emotional, the soul simply becomes another consciousness outside of the body until and if it returns to the body, the soul itself is a ticket into the afterlife (without a soul, one may not enter after death) and also a means to use magic. Unless the spell devours all of the energy of the human soul at once, the soul will eventually regenerate, much like regaining strength after being fatigued, the soul can replenish after eating, sleeping, resting or drinking, the process is sped up slightly in the moonlight. Souls can be stolen through several magical means, but only once the body is dead, unless the individual stealing it happens to be an Un-God or other highly supernatural being.

    The Division of Fohrundus and The Death of Fhetis

    All was not well in Fohrundus, Fhetis had fallen to a deadly illness, fatal even to a God. Before long, he died from the poison, leaving the mantle of Lord of the Snow to his Firstborn, Vagen. However, many of the Kha-Nen believed that if Fhetis truly was a God and not a pretender, then he would not have died, to this Vagen had no answer and the questioners demanded Civil War. The land became split between Fohreniit and Fohrendael, those who followed Vagen as the rightful Lord of the Snow resided in Fohreniit and those who opposed him inhabited Fohrendael. Though the thick of the war is over, there is still bitterness between the two countries.

    The Great Manducation

    Sothil was slightly vain and demanded that his Saenn build more and more statues and temples in his honour out of sandstone. The Saenn rebelled, led by Keleia and consumed Sothil, this event was known as the Great Manducation, which is celebrated once a cycle with the devouring of an animal meat effigy of Sothil. Keleia also became known as the Goddess of Feasts after this, the Saenn also gained power over the sand their father had created.

    The Vanity of Keleia

    Keleia, like her father Sothil, was vain and demanded statues and temples be built in her worship, the Saenn then rebelled against her and devoured her in the same manner they did Sothil, however no feast is held in honour of the foolish Goddess.

    The Division of Ellinit

    The several clans of humans that had spread out on Ellinit and who had been living in relative peace for a time suddenly clashed, each of the three clans had chosen a leader and each thought their leader should rule over all of Ellinit, thus the land was separated into Urdia (North-West), Vahon (South) and Avandel (North-East.)

    The Fate of the Hags

    Claudia was a lonely witch, there was only one thing she craved over all else, eternal life, the ability to study magic for all time and teach it to the newer generations, a noble goal. She and her companions who shared her dream set out into the woods, they experimented with magic and alchemy for decades, however, immortality is not an easily attained state. Their experiments succeeded in extending their life ten, or even twenty fold the average lifespan of their fellow humans, however, they were left horribly deformed and shrivelled and in their efforts, they had created the most deadly predators seen upon Aitu since the Dragons, the Vampires. As repentance for their abhorrent creation being unleashed upon the world, they remained in the woods, away from society and hunted the abominable creatures they had created.

    The Nature of Vampires

    Vampires are fast, strong and resilient; they have everlasting life and are capable of some of the most impressive feats of Necromancy in all of Aitu. Vampires must feed upon human blood each night, the more thirsty they are, the more blood they crave and the more deadly they become. If they go an entire moon without drinking blood they will begin to transform into a bestial vampire, only capable of running on all fours and they lack any sentience, however they are infinitely faster, stronger and more bloodthirsty than any sentient vampire, they are often used by Vampires to hunt down targets they specifically want to kill, the transformation is irreversible. Several moons after becoming a bestial vampire and not having access to blood, the creature will become immobile and constantly be in pain until it rots, torn asunder by its own bloodlust. The only way to kill a vampire is a blessed stake of wood through the heart or direct sunlight, otherwise they will reform by the next dusk.


    A war broke out between Avandel and Urdia, over resources from the mountain paths between the two countries. The war raged on for seven years and many men died, during the early parts of the second year, out of the chaos Taion rose. Taion was just a man, perfectly fallible, but he was just, kind, honest, hard-working and a devastating force on the battlefield, he believed in a pantheon of Gods that his parents and a few others had worshipped for the past eleven or so generations: Yor, the God of Storms and leader of the pantheon, his firstborn, Vhenit, the Goddess of the Forest and Fhalen, his secondborn and God of Intelligence and Strategy. With the gifts his Gods has allegedly bestowed upon him, he conquered the battlefield as a one-man vanguard, his amulet, blessed by Vhenit, that could heal any wound, his ring, blessed by Fhalen, that increased exponentially  his endurance and stamina in his heavy armour and his sword, Eridel (Shadow Breaker), blessed by Yor with unbreakability and imbued with the power of lightning. He quickly rose through the ranks and eventually became a captain and soon after, a general. During his last known battle, Taion held aloft a mystical orb and was transformed before the eyes of the army that he led, his appearance was now much more slender and graceful than any man, his ears were pointed, insect-like wings sprouted from his back, mighty antlers protruded from his skull and pointed skyward and his eyes were filled with golden light; the battle lasted mere hours and Avandel conquered Urdia. Not long after the climax of the battle, Taion vanished.

    The Formation of the Church of Yor

    In honour of Taion, a church was formed by his many admirers across Avandel, many believed he had ascended to Godhood and thus he was worshipped alongside Yor, Vhenit and Fhalen, as a God of War, it wasn’t long until the religion spread across Avandel and Urdia, and later, Vahon.

    The Corruption of the Church of Yor

    It was common belief that Yor was reborn amongst the human race, the only thing they knew for sure about his identity was that he would naturally be able to manipulate the elemental powers of lightning. Within the following five decades they discovered a child, Renoldus, he was merely seven years old, but had mastered the power of lightning; they dragged him to the Church and forced him upon the throne, proclaiming his as their rightful lord and the immortal God-King and father of humankind, they took him away from his parents and forced to train in the ways of government and leadership. Alas, the innocent monarch was not to remain this way. His adviser, Dryke was a manipulative sorcerer who had contracted Vampirism; he gave Dryke true immortality in the form of the Vampiric curse, fearing for his life, Renoldus never told anybody or left the Throne room or his Quarters, Dryke also extracted a fragment of Renoldus’ elemancy for himself. However, it is considered common knowledge by the common folk that Yor keeps his servant alive forever, when in fact, it is the opposite, as a result of Dryke and Renoldus' need to feed, many of the Deacons, Priests, Bishops and so on have also taken part in the vampiric curse. The Church deliberately keeps several of it's holy men untouched by the curse, so as to use them for missions  outside the walls of the Church. The capital of Avandel, Yorfhen, was built up around the Church.

    The Avarice of Dryke and the Sloth of the Guards

    Over the following decades, Dryke spread the rumour that if you did not pay enough money to the Church in life, your soul would be ugly, deformed and decrepit after death. With the money, the Church grew more and more powerful and the common folk who where not in the Church's pocket, like the Nobles, grew poorer and poorer. The guards became less and less interested in their duty and spent most of their days drinking and gambling, the few that did their duty were shunned by their superiors and comrades.

    Yor's White Hands

    Yor's White Hands or the White Hands as they are commonly called are a secretive sect of the Church of Yor, they are highly trained assassins that operate in the shadows to ruthlessly hunt down and slaughter any and all that oppose the Church. They are fast, cunning and a force to reckoned with in one-on-one combat, let alone when the five are together. Their cruel, barbed arrows and pure white bows strike fear into enemies of the Church and their longswords are crafted specifically to cause heavy bleeding, the group are known to wear white cloaks wit cowls that completely obscure their face, despite being in plain view due to the colour of their clothing, they are completely undetectable to the naked eye whilst in the dark.

    The Remaining Maitrenach Fragments and the Elves

    When Unbound Disparity destroyed the Maitrenach, the smaller pieces that did not react with the clouds floated about until embedded within the lands created by Sothil, Yjorma and Fhetis. When a sentient mortal creature, such as a Giant or Human or Kha-Nen or Saenn comes into prolonged contact with one of these fragments they become Elves, mystical creatures with God-like abilities, they gain insect-like wings, sky-scraping antlers, slender and elegant body shapes and golden eyes. The height of an Elf depends on the race they were in the material plane. Elves cannot exist for long within the material plane, which is where the mortal species’ originate; therefore they eventually disappear into the ethereal plane, where they are only able to return to the material plane for short periods of time and the amount of time before they can return to the material plane can vary from a few days, to a few years to a few centuries. It has also been speculated that the Elves also gain omniscience. Those who have become Elves are:

    • Hrontha, Un-God of Sexual Desire and Manipulation
    • Baleriik, Un-God of Politics and Deceit
    • Serlinta, Un-God of Emotion and Power
    • Taion, God of War (In the Human Pantheon)

    The Rise of Oronel and Vhendel

    Two brothers, Oronel and Vhendel, both raised in Vahon. The two were both potent Mages, Oronel was focused on academic research into the Arcane, whereas Vhendel was obsessed with a cure for death; this obsession had had a strangle-hold on him ever since their mother passed away when they were both very young. Oronel was a prodigy, ascending far above his classmates and his teachers, at the age of eighteen he was already a master of every disciplined school of magic (With the exception of Necromancy, which had not been invented yet.) Vhendel was jealous of his brother's success and using his knowledge of himself and his desire to bring his mother back to life, he invented Necromancy, with his new talent he went to his mothers grave and resurrected her corpse from the ground, upon seeing her decomposing corpse groaning and moaning as it wandered the ground, he was driven mad, birthing another undisciplined form of magic, Corruption. Vhendel declared war on the world that had taken his mother away, using his new magic to raise an army of the undead, he gathered a small following and began razing villages to the ground in an act of blind insanity, with the power of his corruption magic, he transformed his undead servants into monstrous beasts that slaughtered all that came close. Oronel was powerless against his brother's school of magic, he meditated and pondered upon himself and created Light magic, a form of magic that manipulated the soul in such a way as to command light to purge all impurities from whatever it touched. With his new magic, he brought an end to Vhendel's reign of terror and restored peace to Vahon. Upon his victory, he was awarded the new title, Archmage, the greatest title a Mage could be granted. Vhendel went down in history as the Lord of Heretics for his abominable creation and is damned by the Church of Yor to this day.

    The Foundation of the Swiftswords

    The concept of being a mercenary is nothing new; offering your services to the people in exchange for coin. However, a famous mercenary, Mortimer, had an idea to bring hardworking hirelings together. He purchased a tavern in the perfect location to appeal to both the nobles and the common folk, he renamed the tavern "The Swiftsword Inn", which is a reference to his own fighting style - fast and aggressive with his curved sword in combat. By spreading word through the people who visited the tavern, many people began leaving contracts on the board outside of the inn, which in turn led to the inn being a hub and home for mercenaries. Those mercenaries that Mortimer took under his wing would later be known as "Swiftswords", many of them trained in the art of the sword in the same way as Mortimer was. After two decades of gathering Mercenaries, Mortimer died of sickness at age 65, passing on the mantle of the leader of the Swiftswords to his most talented student; Harald.

    Victor the Unascended

    Victor, a high-achieving human scholar from Yorfhen's magic academy, had the misfortune of discovering a piece of the Maitrenach. His curiousity with the magnificent energy he uncovered led him to conduct several experiements on the fragment with several of his associates and peers. A grievous mistake on their behalf, for Maitrenachh shards are not to be defiled by such experimentation. The tainted Maitrenach fragment unleashed a spasm of malformed magical energy, which twisted all of Victor's scholars into hideous monstrosities and Victor himself, the most hideous of all, was ascended to something above Man, but below Elf. None have heard from him since, but witnesses at the academy claim to have seen Victor and his followers skulk into the dark passages beneath the academy halls.

    The Humans of Avandel, Vahon and Urdia

    The Humans that settled in Avandel are known to be viciously religious, as such, many Clerics are found within the land. The Church's army is famous for its Paladins and Knights being incredibly skilled with both blades and hammers, their tower shields once struck fear into wrong-doers heart, alas, no more. In the past few decades, the corruption of the church has left them lazy and unwilling to do their duty.

    The Humans of Urdia are also known to follow the faith of the Church of Yor, but far less fiercely than the Avandelians, their berserkers are unrivaled and as such, many of the Urdians are well built for the agricultural lifestyle as well as life of the battlefield. The Urdian army is well known for its warriors going into mighty rages, it is not unheard of for a small platoon of Urdians to defeat a small army of men. Though Clerics aren't rare in Urdia they are not as common as in Avandel, however, Urdia is also famous for being home to the Druid Academy, those who wish to learn alchemical mastery and shapeshifting would do well to attend,  mostly due to the incredible amount of forests in the land and the diverse plants and wildlife.

    The Humans of Vahon are stereotypically known for producing talented sorcerers and mages, the greatest magic academy in all of Ellinit is found there, though they don't specialise in any specific school the academy is perfect for those wishing to learn any form of magic, with the exception of the Druid Academy, which would be ideal for shapeshifters. The people are known for their sharp minds and their moral discipline, they are much more political than the other regions in Ellinit. Vahon has been known to be relatively disconnected from Avandel and Vahon, especially during the war between the two regions, almost no mages left to assist either side and nor did they try to prevent the conflict. The people of Vahon loosely follow the Church of Yor, but are usually much more interested in the progress of magical and political knowledge than religious knowledge.

    The Kha-Nen of Fohreniit and Fohrendael

    The Kha-Nen residing in Fohreniit that sided with Vagen as the next Lord of the Snow are known to ride Drakes into battle and more often than not wield spears, they are incredibly dexterous and their speciality drakescale armor is known to be light and almost indestructable. The people themselves are known to worship Fhetis even after his death, they believe that his blessing is what allows them to survive in the treacherous and snowy plains of Fohrundus.

    The Kha-Nen of Fohrendael are much less faithful than their brothers towards Fhetis, they believe him to be false, for they believed Gods to be immortal. With the division of Fohrundus they lost the art of creating the Drakes from the corpses of the Dragons, which became the mountains. In compensation for this they trained rigorously and eventually mastered the use of bows, their arrows tipped with the most potent snow magic they could command, they tore the Drake's wings and scales to shreds in a similar fashion to how Yjorma did in the Dragon War of Ellinit. The Kha-Nen of Fohrendael have since grown into Atheists, believing that there are no Gods and that those deluded with visions of greater beings are foolish.

    The Saenn of Vurentil

    The Saenn residing in Vurentil are an odd race of creatures, their bodies seem to be a cross between dark-skinned humans and snakes. The Saenn pride themselves in devouring Sothil and Keleia, believing themselves to be above the God that birthed them; now when they are confronted with any form of divinity, they seek to devour it in an act of defiance and dominance over divine power. The Saenn call magic heresy and any Saenn that are caught in the act of performing magic are publically executed. They are not an advanced people by any means, they do not build mighty cities, nor do they work or farm, they simply eat whatever edible thing they can find and live in small camps or villages built of sandstone. 

    The Giants of Ellinit

    The Giants of Ellinit are a peaceful race, for the most part. They are patient, calm and well-mannered, despite what humans think of them (Man-eating mountain men), Giants are unique in this aspect, they have no conflict with any other race, with the exception of maybe the Dragons, however, this is also their weakness as they are vulnerable to attack as they refuse to strike first. A giant, when enraged, is said to be like facing down a raging storm. They revere Rahmet, Vhumi, Ailem and Yjorma, although Rahmet is easily forgotten in this day and age, as he is still in self-exile. They are the only race that is immune to the vampiric curse, as their tough skin does not allow them to be bitten. They have no need of eating and can sustain themselves entirely on rainwater, making them perfect for the environment, unlike the other races which often pride themselves in trophy hunting or hunting for food. The Giants live in clans scattered throughout Ellinit's mountains, which they rarely leave, they have no interest in mingling with humans. Giant's reproduction is exceptionally unique, once two partners are so close that their very souls intermingle with each other, they are surrounded by a mighty storm that births another Giant, the two parents then vanish and become a star in the night sky (Giant matings are relatively rare.)




    • Main Character
    • Age undecided
    • Human (Soulless)
    • Swiftsword Mercenary
    • Female


    • Jes's magic teacher
    • Age unknown
    • He worshipped Serlinta in life and when Jes wished for power over magic to bring down the Church, his soul was placed into the body of a squirrel to teach her, he is not happy about this.
    • Un-God Worshipper, Magic Teacher
    • Male


    • Swiftsword Mercenary
    • Human
    • Male
    • He was a childhood friend of Jes's and his wrongful execution by the Church drove Jes to become Soulless for power.


    • Swiftsword Barkeep
    • Human
    • Male
    • A kindly soul that hosts the inn that the Swiftswords are known for residing in.


    • Leader of the Hags
    • 230 years
    • She is hardened and almost devoid of emotion, she lives for her duty now; to purge the vampire menace from the world.
    • Female


    • Hag
    • 200 years
    • Female


    • Hag
    • 189 years
    • Female


    • Hag
    • 213 years
    • Female


    • Hag
    • 173 years
    • Female


    • God-Monarch of the Church
    •  Age unknown
    • Vampire
    • Frail, powerless and unable to stop his adviser making the Church completely corrupt.
    • Elemancer, Lightning


    • Adviser to Renoldus
    • Age unknown
    • Vampire
    • Manipulative, he is pulling the strings of corruption in the church and keeping Renoldus unable to protest.
    • Elemancer Lightning.


    • Rebel Leader
    • Human
    • Utterly mad, wanting to bring down the church and replace it with Dragon worship, who he believes will wipe out the Church and nothing more, in fact, the Dragons will consume the world in an inferno.
    • Leader of a rebel cult of Pyromancers, Mages that mimic the power of the Dragons and command the unnatural power of fire.


    • Soren's right hand man
    • Human
    • As mad as his master, whom he idolises, he also believes that his master should rule alongside the Dragons.



    Feel free to leave some of your thoughts below

    This post was edited by Mortiferous at December 23, 2016 2:00 PM EST
    • 51 posts
    June 19, 2016 11:12 AM EDT
    I've always loved reading fantasy and I want to be a fantasy author so seeing stuff like this is cool. I like the idea of dragon corpses slowly decomposing into mountains over the years, it just sounds cool. Depending on your protagonist's motive, if (s)he is willing to sell his/her soul to become more powerful. Perhaps they'd be willing to become a vampire. But, again, that depends on motive, as well as how vampires work in your world. Like, whether or not it's something you can become or an actual race, if that makes sense. I'm also going to assume vampires are possibly hunted by the church? I'm not sure what semblance of the story that'll be set in this you have so far, but perhaps it could be interesting, given my last assumption, if vampires were sort of 'infiltrating' the church. Like the church figures out that some of its agents are vampires and they have to find some way to weasel them out maybe, because if they're taken over by vampires how would they make the coin they so love? Of course, this is your world, and it's what you want to do that matters. I've learned you've gotta toss ideas and see what sticks, just like spaghetti.
    • 273 posts
    June 19, 2016 11:27 AM EDT

    Cheers for the reply, Blooded.

    I thought about him/her becoming a vampire, but I felt it wouldn't be right somehow. They are willing to sell their soul and become something I haven't come up with a name for (My original idea was "hollow", but Dark Souls has already taken that), like an empty vessel with incredible power over dark magic.

    The vampires are something you can become, simply being bitten by one is enough, just like conventional vampires, it is however a process that takes time.

    The church hates vampires, although they don't hunt them themselves because they are lazy gluttons. I might give the vampire hunting role to a faction at a later date when I can think of a name for it.

    You've definitely got an interesting idea there with the church being invaded by vampires, perhaps I could tie it in with the current God-monarch being a vampire, but I'll give it some more thought before I just throw that in.

    • 51 posts
    June 19, 2016 11:40 AM EDT
    I like the "empty vessel with incredible power over dark magic."thing. I'd love to see how these ideas develop and where you go with them. It may also have inspired me to share my own ideas on here.
    • 273 posts
    June 19, 2016 11:44 AM EDT

    I hope your own ideas come to fruition. 

    • 273 posts
    June 19, 2016 11:54 AM EDT

    Added the idea for Hags.

    • 273 posts
    June 19, 2016 1:58 PM EDT

    Added a way for the Church to gain more money.

    • 122 posts
    June 19, 2016 10:12 PM EDT

    Good luck with your writing!

    I'd suppose that I would do the following in order to muddy the waters of your world:

    -I'd give your world a number of lower ranking Paladins who shirk the "corrupt and lazy establishment shill straw man"  mold and are actually struggling to uphold their tenants. I would then pit these "Actual Paladins" directly against your main character. I would not ever make them friends. I would prefer bitter enemies, but would settle for people who occasionally share information or throw one another a bone simply because they would feel worse for leaving the other to die.

    -I would place your protagonist in a position where selling his/her soul actually made him/her weaker, not more badass. Maybe an ironic and largely useless power, like "Being able to see the truth" meaning being able to read the past of an area with a given degree of success rather than a cursed-with-awesome series of superpowers like Spawn or something.

    -With your theocratic rule, I would enter a Martin Luther to protest the church's abuse of the common people and possible even incite a rebellion. I would not make the Martin Luther character much of an improvement, and in fact would make him a man hated by the protagonist, even if he may be better for the people. I would forcibly ally the protagonist to this character for at least part of the story.

    -I would love to see the theocratic church rulers coerce at least one giant from the mountains, only for the giant to turn on everyone and just start leveling cities. If dragons are mountain-sized, I can only assume a giant is at least taller than a three-story house.

    -I would make Vampires secretly a product of the Hags' search for immortality, an early misfire which went long out of control. I would have the hags quietly seeking to undo their mistake, but doing so in a way that would lead to a near-extinction-level event.

    -I would combine Vampires and Zombies/ghouls, stating that a vampire who hasn't fed in a month begins to rapidly decompose, rotting and destroying its physical form with its own unnatural strength as it seeks to devour the blood and flesh of the living. I would make this state permanent once reached, and I would make Vampires terrified of this fate, even using it as punishment among their own kind by locking them away until they turn feral, then holding them until they decide to unleash them as walking, shambling weapons of mass destruction.

    -I would not make the idea of alms for salvation a rumor. I would make it official church doctrine.

    -I would make the head of the evil church empire an innocent, weak-willed, isolated figurehead who has no idea what his underlings are really doing. I would then have him utterly and irrevocably ruined by the end of the story as he finally gains enlightenment as to what has been going on, but then is forced to either be complicit in the corruption, tortured until he consents, or is violently replaced and either martyred or painted as a heretic.

    -I would make the protagonist clever and crafty rather than all-powerful, his strength largely based on his intellect and creativity rather than his ability to kung-fu fight, parkour, magic badassedly at people, or use magic weapons to do the prior three things.

    -I would not make the protagonist extremely wise to the world or the smartest person in the world/city.

    -I would give the main character with the missing soul a visible mark on his or her body as a sign of the contract. This would desperately need to be hidden, lest he or she is discovered by the paladins and tortured/burned/executed horribly.

    -I would create another faction in the city/country/region/world which obsesses over resurrecting the dragons, even though history and common sense all say that it's a stupid idea.

    • 273 posts
    June 20, 2016 12:47 PM EDT

    Jesus, that's a lot of nice ideas you got there.

    1.I love this idea, I'll certainly add this in.

    2. I'll see what I can do with this idea, I can see it working in some ways but not in others.

    3. I really like this idea, maybe merge it with idea 12? As in have this character being a rebel/terrorist wanting to bring about an age of dragons as a religion. (Like Salvation from Dragons Dogma)

    4. The giants are going to be enormous, roughly 400 feet tall and I can actually see this being a driving point in the novel, so I will likely use it.

    5. Love this idea, definitely will be using it.

    6. Again, I love this idea and I can see it working very well with 5.

    7. I'm 50/50 on this idea, spreading the rumor was a way for the church to gain money for nothing although it could certainly work either way.

    8. Yes, something like this is less cliche than what I had in mind, possibly the adviser the God-Monarch is the really evil one who makes up lies and keeps the God-Monarch unaware and well looked after.

    9. I do want my main character to use some kind of magic as making purely intelligent main characters isn't entirely my style. Maybe a complimentary intelligent companion would be useful? Let's say he/she sells their soul to a Dark God (Or Un-God as I like to call them) and they gain a companion that continually points out the mistakes the main character makes and is a condescending smartarse, whilst trying not to be annoying to the reader.

    10. He/She will not be the smartest, but they won't be stupid either, they'll realize where they live is a bad place and as such they don't bother making it worse than it already is.

    11. I had a similar idea when I was discussing this with some other people. Possibly the Paladins have some kind of detector (Fetus in a jar that screams when the soulless are nearby, maybe?) that detects the soulless and causes the main character to constantly be on the run, or risk being executed for dealing against the governing religion.

    12. See 3.

    • 273 posts
    June 20, 2016 2:31 PM EDT

    Organized ideas into categories.

    • 273 posts
    June 20, 2016 2:44 PM EDT

    Sorry, 400 METRES tall, not feet.

    • 133 posts
    June 20, 2016 3:01 PM EDT

    You say that you've yet to decide how the paladins can detect soullessness, but how about this? What if they kidnap special gifted people and somehow "activate" those people whenever they are looking for soulless people. By "activating" (a better, punchy word would be cool) they spend a portion of that kidnapped persons soul, slowly withering them away until they die. I'm imagining a scene where your character accidentally comes upon a chamber with tons of dead/half-living bodies of people that were spent trying to find them. 

    • 51 posts
    June 20, 2016 3:02 PM EDT

    Wow, that's about Empire State Building height!

    • 273 posts
    June 20, 2016 3:10 PM EDT
    That's really interesting, like some kind of sacrifice to fuel a kind of searching magic? That's pretty cool, I'll see what I can do.
    • 273 posts
    June 21, 2016 11:52 AM EDT

    That's about 19 meters taller than the Empire State Building. These mofos are... *GIANT* 

    • 273 posts
    June 21, 2016 3:28 PM EDT

    Added a section for magic.

    • 273 posts
    June 21, 2016 4:05 PM EDT

    Vastly expanded world lore, more to be done tomorrow.

    • 51 posts
    June 21, 2016 10:11 PM EDT
    I absolutely love the new lore you added and I don't know if you've ever read Christopher Paolini's Inheritance Cycle, but your magic system is reminiscent of that. It's my favorite book series so I like the similarity.
    • 161 posts
    June 21, 2016 11:05 PM EDT

    I love Dark Fantasy and really your world. I like they magic is used in your world but you should flesh out on how this Magic was made and taught. Might even have to make a another god for it. It would be a cool idea to have outcast schools that teach different types. Maybe even using the some type of Physical form of an Ancient Giants souls to fuel different types perhaps. Good luck on your Novel!

    • 273 posts
    June 22, 2016 11:15 AM EDT

    I've read the Inheritance Cycle, its my favorite book series too.

    • 273 posts
    June 22, 2016 11:17 AM EDT

    Cheers, Manni.

    I will certainly see what I could do, reading over it caused me to think a similar thing.

    • 54 posts
    June 22, 2016 11:19 AM EDT

    It reminds you of that? I do not quite see the similarity, what links them?

    • 273 posts
    June 22, 2016 11:28 AM EDT

    Added lore for the God of Knowledge.

    • 273 posts
    June 22, 2016 11:39 AM EDT

    Added more to Magic and included how fire created Dragons.

    • 54 posts
    June 22, 2016 1:04 PM EDT

    What Gods do the Church worship? Or are they just false, a way to earn money without labor for the Church? And if your anti church character wanted to topple the Church, the unleashing of the dragons would be an interesting tactic. Probably catastrophic though.