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Freaking Kids!!!

    • 457 posts
    May 27, 2015 10:21 AM EDT

    Any time we are expecting a new child, and somebody jokes, "Hey... maybe it's twins!" I kind of want to punch them in the throat. The first three months can be rough, and I can only imagine what it's like getting a double dose of that--you and your significant other are survivors! xD

    My hat's off to you... much respect ;D

    • 394 posts
    May 27, 2015 10:25 AM EDT

    The 1st 6 months especially was tough! And we nearly had triplets :O

    Thank you Sir :)

    • 207 posts
    May 27, 2015 11:35 AM EDT

    And have better odds of protecting you from burglars.

  • May 27, 2015 11:54 AM EDT

    This is the best thing that i have read in months...

    • 743 posts
    May 27, 2015 12:20 PM EDT

    Couldn't agree with you more, Overhate.

    • 1441 posts
    May 27, 2015 12:34 PM EDT

    A year or two ago, my now eleven year old cousin punched me in the crotch, and a year before that, when I was about to sit down, he positioned a pencil so it stabbed me

    • 457 posts
    May 27, 2015 2:19 PM EDT

    I used to think that way when I was a kid too... then I had kids:

    "Dad, I can't find the broom."

    "Did you look in the laundry room where it has always been since the very first day you blessed this home with your presence, and where you have often fetched said implement in times past?"

    "Uh.... found it!"

    -Or-

    "Okay! We cleaned our room... can we play on the computer now?"

    "Will it pass inspection?"

    "Uh..."

    "If I go into your room right now, will I agree that it's clean or will I have to call Child Protective Services to come get you before something happens that sends Daddy to jail?"

    "I'll go check again."

    3 minutes later

    "Okay, now it's clean!"

    "What if I check under the bed?"

    "Be right back!"

    3 minutes later

    "Done!"

    "Closet?"

    "Lemme go double check..."

    This scenario can go on until it's so late that it's time for bed (and when they try to go to bed it is ultimately discovered that all the offending items have been meticulously spread over their bed and covered with the bedspread, or neatly shoved into their pillowcases). I don't know how old a kid has to get before he/she realizes that it's less work to actually do the work than it is to eternally cut corners.

    I can laugh about this, but it has my wife seeing red xD

    • 457 posts
    May 27, 2015 2:21 PM EDT

    That sounds like a young man that is not long for this world (or if he is, you may not be long for this world :O)

    • 457 posts
    May 27, 2015 2:23 PM EDT

    They can be exasperating, but they do make for some interesting stories ;D

    • 2 posts
    May 27, 2015 3:31 PM EDT

    To have kids with red hair you both need to carry the recessive gene for it. If you both have the recessive gene there is a 1/4 chance your offspring will have red hair. But if one of you does not have the recessive gene you are in the clear (:

    • 203 posts
    May 27, 2015 4:51 PM EDT

    Oh the great memories! I used to be exactly like that, too bad for my parents I discovered they never really did any inspections so if you just said "yes" with enough confidence the first time, you were ok. Even if your stuff was stashed about everywhere it could fit, except in the place it belonged.

    • 20 posts
    May 27, 2015 6:01 PM EDT

    Father of triplets here. 

    They are our "only" kids: girl, boy, girl.  

    And they're great.  But, yeah..... 

    Put it this way.  They kids were born in July of 2011.  Skyrim came out in November.  We got Skyrim (and a computer to run it) in December.  Between my wife and I, we have logged *countless* hours in that game.  

    Because, with triplets, there is no "going out to a nice restaurant to annoy the other patrons".  No freakin' way.  The girls were carsick, the nearest restaurant is at least 20 minutes away, and just the *effort* involved in going anywhere with 3 toddlers is spirit-breaking.  

    And you can't really get a babysitter or pawn them off on the in-laws for a few hours, because it's *three freaking toddlers*.  You can't dump that on someone else!  

    So the only option for "getting away" on a regular basis is "getting *mentally* away", and Skyrim has really fit the bill.  :)

    • 33 posts
    May 27, 2015 6:54 PM EDT

    Fun Fact About Kids, Harriet tubman drugged kids so they would shut the hell up on the underground railroad.

    • 457 posts
    May 27, 2015 7:05 PM EDT
    Hmmmmm, I like the way that woman thinks... maybe cough syrup for their pancakes tomorrow xD
    • 394 posts
    May 27, 2015 8:28 PM EDT

    Kids! You spend their 1st 2 years teaching them to walk & talk, & the next 15 telling them to sit down & be quiet!!

    • 394 posts
    May 27, 2015 8:33 PM EDT

    My little boy is fond of taking a running jump & launching himself in the direction of my crotch while I'm on the sofa watching TV. I've taken to keeping a big cushion handy, or OUCH! He'll understand 1 day 

    • 457 posts
    May 28, 2015 2:21 AM EDT
    Yeah, a straight right cross from a 5 or 6 year old will rock your world xD
    • 22 posts
    May 28, 2015 2:42 AM EDT
    And what is wrong with red heads?
    • 394 posts
    May 28, 2015 6:48 AM EDT

    Like it!  In hindsight I wish I'd called mine Luke, just so I could say " - well, you know.. 

    • 3 posts
    May 28, 2015 9:37 AM EDT

    I did that to my father when I was 2 as well. He and my mother were watching TV in bed, I came in and sat on his chest and looked him in the eye, said "hi daddy" then smashed my toddler fist down, breaking his nose.

    I can only conclude that all toddlers are violent towards their fathers and secretly loathe them.

    • 457 posts
    May 28, 2015 10:06 AM EDT

    Wow, Paul... triplets! There is something sincerely terrifying about having one more child than the Missus is equipped to feed naturally xD

    I was going to say that I could definitely see myself logging some serious Skyrim time in that situation, but honestly... I think I would spend most of my time  trying to find a quiet spot to sleep. I get tired just thinking about it ;D

    • 485 posts
    May 28, 2015 10:12 AM EDT
    Nope. I want nothing to do with kids.
    • 457 posts
    May 28, 2015 10:18 AM EDT

    That's awesome, but there's no way it would fly with my wife... she takes names serious, and the cooler they are, the more frivolous she sees them. She shot down 'Atom' while we were still dating, and in one of her weaker moments I got her to consider 'Dermot' (a good Irish name) for our youngest son until I mistakenly said, "Yeah, and the cool thing is every time we get upset at him it sounds like we're swearing, 'Get that backpack off the floor, Dermot!'

    The child's name is 'Declan' now (which is too bad, because he does a lot of things that make me feel like swearing xD)

    • 457 posts
    May 28, 2015 10:18 AM EDT

    Got a buddy who did just that... rubs it in my face every time we see him ;D

    • 457 posts
    May 28, 2015 10:22 AM EDT

    And because (if mommy is in the room) they know they can get away with it ;D

    Still, that's some serious bragging rights... "My kid is pretty hardcore. Broke my nose and everything--thinking about training the child for MMA" xD