Alduin is Real and Shoor is Akatosh

  • So, some of you mite have read my pa's book, Alduin is real and he ent Akatosh. It shoor was a real good story, but he's not the smartest Pa around and he just don't really no that much about how things are. Now shoor, you can say, "but Thromgar, you can't just say your Pa was a dum man", and I ain't saying he's dum, just that he didn't live near a big city like me, and he ain't that smart. So he gots some things wrong about his riting, it just weren't rite and he said some dum things.

     

    So I wanta clear this up. My Pa said this one in his book, but you gotta think real smart about what's he saying.

     

    Now I hope you understand the problim. Akatosh is good. Everyone, from Nord to Imperial noes that. But Alduin? He ent good! He's the oposit of good! That Alduin is evil thrue and thrue. So you see, Akatosh and Alduin cant be one and the same.

     

    Look Pa's saying that Alduin is evil and taht Akatosh is good, and shoor he mite be rite about that. I mean, yeah Alduin shoor is evil and Akatosh ain't, but think of this. We all no somebody who's not always nice, in fact, tell me one man who always bean good for his hole life and I'll show you a man who's a liar. There ain't someone who's always good, in fact most men are bad sometimes. You got people who fight in wars that aren't good and you got them no-good Elves in the Thalmoor who try and kill us cause we ain't Elves. Those people ain't good, not all the time but I bet you that they're sometimes not bad, they got families some of 'em, and I bet that they aren't bad to their family.

     

    So, what if Akatosh is sometimes bad? If he were bad sometimes, then ain't that mean that he culd be Akatosh at sometimes and Alduin at others? Now Pa also said something like this witch is important to think about.

     

    Akatosh is some kind of spirit dragon I think, wen he bothers to be a dragon at all (and not a god livin in sum kind of god plac like Obliviun). But Alduin is a real dragon, with flesh and teeth and a mean streak longer than the White River. And there was a time when Alduin tried to rool over all of Skyrim with his other dragons. In the end, it took sum mitey strong heroes to finally kill Alduin and be dun with his holy sorry story. So I got to ask - does that sound like Akatosh to you? No, friend. No it does not.

     

    Okay, so. Pa said that Akatosh is a god, and let me ask you this one friend. What do you think about Akatosh being a god that can just give himself a body? I means, he's a really powah.powar...strong god and he probably got the powar to make himself a real body. By Talos, I bet he can even be in more than one place at a time, he culd probably be a living dragon and a spirit dragon at the same time. Tell me friend, what do ya think about it?

     

    I say, that it don't make sense just to think that Akatosh ain't powerful enough to be split in two. He got powah over time and all that, so maybe he could even do some weerd time magic stuff to make himself apeer in two places. I say he probably able to do that, and I ain't never seen anyone who said he culdn't. So if Akatosh could be evil like an Elf, and he could be in more than one place, then who says he ain't both Alduin and Akatosh?

     

    Told to me by me da, who was told by his da, who was told by his da, and so on. And one of those stories was about Alduin. But see, he was not Akatosh. He was another dragon and a real wun at that.

     

    So my Pa also said that bit just above, about how he was told stories that go back a long time and how one of em was about Alduin and all that. But stories are wrong, I got a naybor that says he got himself a deer that was over 100 feet tall. I don't really know how much 100 feet is, but I shoor no that he's never caught any deer at all, do he's just making a story up. Maybe that's how the Old Nords did it, I meen, they didn't even believe in Akatosh before the Imperials came to Skyrim, so if they didn't beleeve in him and then they did, then how come the story is so old. There has to be stories from before wat my Pa was told, so who can say that those stories are saying that Alduin is Akatosh.

     

    I even herd about that time where he went forward in time. See, some old Nords sent him into the future is how the story goes, some Dragonborn fella was talking about how Alduin was moved in time, but who says he didn't do it on purpose. See there are more people then there used to be, more of us for him to eat and to kill, and I think it just make more sense if he new that and came to kill us when there were more of us.

     

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    So that's the story. I ain't saying that there's no chance that Alduin ain't Akatosh, but I am saying that Pa's words just ain't making sens to me, he got some good thorts but he ain't really smart enough to make it all make sens. So this is why, Alduin shoor is Akatosh, or at least why I say he culd be.

Comments

17 Comments   |   Paws and 9 others like this.
  • Sotek
    Sotek   ·  August 20
    Finally got to read it DB and what a read.
    It's got so much character, it almost drips off the page. 


    Added to TSC Event.
    • Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      Sotek
      Sotek
      Sotek
      Finally got to read it DB and what a read.
      It's got so much character, it almost drips off the page. 


      Added to TSC Event.
        ·  August 20
      It was a really fun blog to write, there's something just insanely fun about writing a character that is purposefully so...illiterate. Thanks for dropping by Sotek and I'm glad that you enjoyed it :D
  • Legion
    Legion   ·  August 19
    This is gold. A castle full of gold. 
    • Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      Legion
      Legion
      Legion
      This is gold. A castle full of gold. 
        ·  August 19
      Bugger, I'm more of a Vault full of gold sort of person but I'll make do with a castle :P Thanks for reading Legion
  • Felkros
    Felkros   ·  August 19
    Amazing. Like, I want to scream, but in the best way.
    • Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      Felkros
      Felkros
      Felkros
      Amazing. Like, I want to scream, but in the best way.
        ·  August 19
      Hah, mission accomplished then. Thanks Felkros :D
  • KaiserSoSay
    KaiserSoSay   ·  August 19
    Reading the original was hard for me the first. I had to resist the urge of punching my monitor at seeing all those grawmar mistakes. :P
    Sometimes I wish the Thalmor also arrested illiterate Nords. That way they'll be literal literary grammar nazis.
    • Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      KaiserSoSay
      KaiserSoSay
      KaiserSoSay
      Reading the original was hard for me the first. I had to resist the urge of punching my monitor at seeing all those grawmar mistakes. :P
      Sometimes I wish the Thalmor also arrested illiterate Nords. That way they'll be literal literary grammar nazis.
        ·  August 19
      Hmm, that'd be interesting. I would also enjoy seeing the Thalmor write reports on the correlation between illiterate Nords and the worship of Talos, them trying to prove a link just seems like something they'd do :D


      I hope reading th...  more
  • David
    David   ·  August 19
    I don't know what bugs the most about this. The fact I could read flawlessly and find the mistakes, or the fact that a lot of people write like this. Anyways, this was good DB.
    • Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      David
      David
      David
      I don't know what bugs the most about this. The fact I could read flawlessly and find the mistakes, or the fact that a lot of people write like this. Anyways, this was good DB.
        ·  August 19
      Urgh, I try and stay away from anything that even half looks like the spelling would be this bad, for me that'd definitely be the worst bit. Thanks for reading Amadeus :D
      • David
        David
        Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
        Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
        Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
        Urgh, I try and stay away from anything that even half looks like the spelling would be this bad, for me that'd definitely be the worst bit. Thanks for reading Amadeus :D
          ·  August 19
        I hated reading the original book because of how "dumb" it was, and you are welcome. :)
  • The Lorc of Flowers
    The Lorc of Flowers   ·  August 19
    It's like Cabbage Farmer was trying to explain the Nordic viewpoint...wait, he is trying! Well done, DB. This was fun to read.
    • Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      The Lorc of Flowers
      The Lorc of Flowers
      The Lorc of Flowers
      It's like Cabbage Farmer was trying to explain the Nordic viewpoint...wait, he is trying! Well done, DB. This was fun to read.
        ·  August 19
      Well, let me think. I sort of imagined the character to live around either Dawnstar or Morthal (but not even really that close, just....whatever their equivalent of Riverwood is) so no cabbages :P

      Glad it was fun though Karves :)
  • Paws
    Paws   ·  August 19
    Evil like an Elf :D Good stuff DB. I really enjoyed the source material when I first read it, and you have shown that it is a gift worth giving. Would not bat an eyelash if I saw this as a book in a Nord's farmouse somewhere.
    • Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      Paws
      Paws
      Paws
      Evil like an Elf :D Good stuff DB. I really enjoyed the source material when I first read it, and you have shown that it is a gift worth giving. Would not bat an eyelash if I saw this as a book in a Nord's farmouse somewhere.
        ·  August 19
      Oy, he at least then gave credit to the fact that the Elves are only evil most of the time. That's a highly complex point that was made :P
  • A Shadow Under the Moons
    A Shadow Under the Moons   ·  August 19
    I need to see this in print.
    • Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      Mega-Dragonborn-of-Doom (1921)
      A Shadow Under the Moons
      A Shadow Under the Moons
      A Shadow Under the Moons
      I need to see this in print.
        ·  August 19
      Hah, thanks Harrow, that really is appreciated :D