This morning I took passage aboard a ship sailing from Solstheim to the frozen land of Skyrim. I write these words feeling queasy from the constant rocking and swaying of the vessel. I will miss the Retching Netch, the sounds and scents of the cornerclub so much remind me of home. I could happily live out the rest of my days in Raven Rock and imagine I am back in Ald'ruhn again.
Make believe. That is all it would be. Nothing remains now. Yet there is one thing I must do ere the end - in addition to completing this journal, that is.
So where was I? Ah, yes. The journey to Vivec City was unpleasant. The ashstorm which marked my departure soon turned to rain and I was soaked through and miserable by the time I arrived at my destination. Despite my bedraggled and gloomy state I recall I was overwhelmed by the size of Vivec. Indeed it was the most perfect thing I had ever seen. I said a small prayer to ALMSIVI before taking a gondola to Redoran Canton where I was to meet my uncle and sponsor of my entry into the Order of the Watch.
I spent the night in silent prayer in a small shrine in order to prepare myself for my new duties for the Temple. Thankfully I was not disturbed.
It was a cold and grey morning when I made the journey to Temple Canton and saw the Ministry of Truth for the first time. Exactly how it felt to see with my own eyes the power of a god is hard to describe. It was awe inspiring, terrifying and humbling to think that Lord Vivec had battled and overcome one of The Four Corners with but a wave of his hand. I hoped against hope that I might one day see my Lord in person. After regaining my composure I headed to the Halls of Justice to start my new life in the gods service.
My dormitory was well suited to me, plain and functional befitting the needs of an Ordinator. For did not Vivec himself say, "keep nothing in your house that is neither needed or beautiful"? I owned nothing of beauty save a small icon of Almalexia and my father's Ebony mace.
My fellow Ordinators were taciturn and grim. We spent our days on our arranged patrols around Vivec City, in quiet training in the arts of destruction magic or in the peace and solitude of prayer and meditation on the scriptures.
Thus my life continued with very little deviation for many years. Occasionally we had to share our place in the Halls of Justice with Vivec's Knights, the Bouyant Armigers, when they were in town. Late at night one could hear them singing and laughing as they strutted around in their fine Glass armour and telling jokes or reciting poetry as loud as they could. It was maddening.
It was on those occasions when I was at my most miserable.
For some reason I became their personal project. Of all the Ordinators in Vivec, they chose me to be the butt of their jokes and the recipient of their pranks. I used to dread their boredom. However that is not what made me miserable. No, the Armigers were good mer at heart. Just a little exuberant.
I was miserable because it was on one of those nights when they were recreating the scene of their latest victory right outside my door that I met her.
I feel the dark hand of despair clutch my heart as I write this memory, an extra feeling of nausea in my stomach to compound my already churning guts. My head bows with the weight of grief and I...
I must cease this narrative here lest I lose the sujamma and scrib jelly I have consumed this day. If I survive this infernal voyage it will be a miracle.
I miss you, Esha. I am so, so sorry.
Comments