Caylin's Monsters
Chapter 19: Tears of Hope
“Nooo! Ria! Njada! What have I done!?” I screamed.
Farkas looked up from where he was sitting across the room, startled by my sudden outburst.
“Athis! Torvar! Tilma! Oh gods no!” I continued shouting. “What have I done!? WHAT HAVE I DONE!?” I was frantic now.
Farkas had risen and was walking toward me, “Caylin, everything’s alright. You were having a dream.”
“No! You don’t understand. They’re all dead! I killed them!” It was becoming more difficult to speak as I tried to stifle the sobs rising in my chest. “Ria and the others… I… I murdered them, Farkas!”
“Caylin, it was just a dream. You’ve been in this room all day.”
“No Farkas! Are you not listening!?” Why couldn’t I make him understand? “They’re dead! I… I killed them! Oh gods! You left me, and I killed them all!”
“Why did you leave me, Farkas!? I needed you! You said you would stop me! By the gods, Farkas! Why didn’t you stop me!?”
Farkas remained calm during my frenzy and spoke gently as he said, “Caylin, you were having a nightmare. I’ve been with you all day. I never left your side except for those few minutes when you first laid down.”
“But it was so real…” I said, beginning to calm down. “Farkas, I… I murdered them… all of them.. and I was enjoying it. How could I have been enjoying it?” I took a deep breath before continuing. “I can still taste… Oh gods. I can still taste their blood in my mouth.”
“Caylin,” he began in a reassuring tone. “Ria and the others were getting up right around the time you fell asleep. I actually saw Athis and Njada when I went to find Skjor. I promise you, they’re all fine. You didn’t do anything to hurt them.”
I turned my head away. “Oh Farkas…” but no more words would come as I began to weep.
I was emotionally spent, and even after sleeping for so long, I felt utterly exhausted.
Farkas, being the perceptive man that he was, didn’t say anything. He stood by me and let me cry, just like I needed him to. I just wanted this living nightmare to be over. I didn’t know how much longer I could go on like this, in constant fear of myself; fear of what I knew I was capable of.
As if he could sense my thoughts, Farkas placed a hand on my shoulder, and I could feel his gentle strength passing into me. His touch filled me with a calm I so desperately needed.
With every minute that passed, there were fewer tears and fewer reasons to be afraid.
And Farkas never uttered a word. He just stood by me, so patient and kind, comforting me with his presence and his touch. When the tears had run out and my trembling had all but stopped, then and only then did he make any kind of motion.
He slowly took a step back and asked, “Are you ready?” I turned to look at him, and he went on, “Skjor and Aela will be waiting for us. Let’s end this, Caylin.”
Though the tears had ceased, I still couldn’t find my voice to respond. So I nodded my acceptance, and Farkas reached out his hand to me.
He remained silent, but he didn’t have to say anything. His eyes said it all. They told me he would be with me through everything and that everything would be alright.
Still holding my hand, he led me into the hallway.
As we began to walk, I looked over at Farkas, dumbfounded. How could I have ever, even for a moment, thought that this sweet man was a monster? If a person could be a werewolf and still be like the man walking beside me, then maybe my future wasn’t so bleak. If a “curse” could produce such a man as this, a man full of compassion, then I would gladly share in this curse as well.
I came close to tears again, but not tears of sorrow this time. No, these were tears of relief, maybe even tears of hope.
Farkas had given me hope, and for that, I would be forever grateful.
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