Caylin's Monsters
Chapter 10: Gaining Perspective
My first assignment as an official Companion was all the way over in the Rift. My thoughts immediately went to Nilindil when I heard this. I wanted to see her so badly. I wanted to hold her and tell her how much I missed her and how much I loved her. It was all I could do to convince myself that I would see her soon enough. In less than a year she would be free of that awful orphanage. Until then, I would do my duty and grow stronger for her and for Skyrim.
After reaching Riften, I decided it was about time for me to purchase a horse. I had saved up enough money from working with the Companions. The stable owner told me her name was Eldi. I had to fight so hard to keep from squealing with glee.
It was embarrassing that I was so excited, but I had wanted a horse since before my parents died. I felt really silly. I was a grown woman after all.
My excitement was short-lived, however. Once I approached the cave we were hired to clear out, I prepared myself for the worst.
What I found was almost disappointing. There were a few reanimated skeletons and a couple of wolves. They all went down with a few well placed arrows.
I almost had to laugh. After what I had been through in the last few days with bandits, vampires, and dozens of undead warriors, this seemed like a joke. I guess that was a good thing. By facing true terrors, the smaller ones seemed much less frightening. It was a matter of perspective, I suppose.
As I looked around the cave, however, I found the body of a young man lying on top of a boulder.
Once I got a closer look, I saw that he was an elf; a wood elf by his skin tone and the shape of his ears. There was no way to tell who he was. By the look of his staff, it seemed that he was a mage. Was he the necromancer that raised those skeletons? Or maybe he was trying to stop whoever was in this place. I would never know.
It made me sad looking at him. What if he had loved ones waiting for him? What if he was just a good man who got caught up in something that got him killed? His family would never find out what happened to him. They would have to live with the pain of not knowing whether he would ever come back. Again my thoughts went to Nilindil. What if I died? Would Nil ever find out? Would she think that I just left her and never came back? Would she think that I stopped loving her? The thought was just too painful. I decided it was best to leave his body there and head home. My mission was complete.
It was late, but I wasn’t tired, and I decided to ride through the night back to Whiterun. I could have headed to the Rift earlier in the day, but after Eorlund gave me my new gear, I just went to sleep. That was odd for me, but maybe I was tired from my lack of sleep the previous night. Regardless, it was also just too bright during the day. I was much more comfortable in the evening.
I had to admit it was a bit strange, though. Growing up, I had always preferred daylight to the darkness of night, but maybe these were just the kind of changes that happen as one matures.
My idle musings were cut short when I came upon yet another skirmish between the Stormcloaks and the Imperials.
The battle ended quickly, but the carnage they left behind was heartbreaking.
Why?
Why did this keep happening!?
I couldn’t understand why so many people had to keep dying for nothing.
As I looked at the bodies of these husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons… I felt sick. These weren’t criminals or murderers. These were just regular people fighting for their homes, for their families. Needless to say, my heart was very heavy after that.
Eventually, I made it to Riverwood. It was a charming little village, even in the middle of the night. As I looked around, my spirits were lifted, if only slightly. These were the people that made the fighting worth it. These were the people I was becoming stronger for so they wouldn’t have to fight. I was fighting for the regular people who just wanted to live their lives. People who, after a hard day’s work, wanted to come home to be with their families.
I considered stopping by the inn, but then decided against it. I had been so thirsty, though. A drink may have been nice. It seemed, however, that no matter how much water I drank, I couldn’t shake this thirst. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was coming down with something. I had, after all, been going on missions nonstop for several days. The previous morning, Ria had even mentioned that I was looking a bit pale. Perhaps I just needed more rest.
I was relieved when I finally approached the steps of Jorrvaskr.
I still wasn’t tired, so I spent some time warming myself and drying out my armor by the fires in the main hall.
As I lay in bed, unable to sleep, my thoughts kept wandering back to the scene of that skirmish. All those soldiers… Were their deaths meaningful in the end?
Was that going to be me? Was I going to end up as just another dead body in the snow and mud? My plan had always been to join the Legion, so it very well could have been me someday. These morbid thoughts occupied my mind for most of the night until I finally fell asleep just before dawn.
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