C.O.T.W Chapter 23: The Mad God's Game

  • Sheogorath stared in shock at Hircine,

    "My horny fellow, is your skull full of brains or is that fat head full of sawdust?" He chuckled a little, "What kind of game, why the

    kind where we conjure up the deadliest creature we can think of and see whose can beat the other."

     

    Hircine's eyes squinted as if he was trying to work out what Sheogorath had said.

    "So what you're saying is I conjure a creature and then you conjure one?"

     

    Sheeogorath noded sarcastically at Hircine,

    "That is my plan, you deer headed buffoon. Sheogorath paused, "Hmmm...this is way too small to hold such creatures, let's

    expand our horizons shall we?" He made the cavern about thrice the size with his hands, stretching and molding reality like a potter

    molds his clay.

    Hircine's eyes went wide with disbelief as he witnessed a miracle, was it a miracle of an abomination of nation? He couldn't be sure,

    in view of the world things belonging to the natural oder of things should be left alone and not messed aroound with. Sheogorath

    was too caught up in his own jovial delusions to hear or even care what Hircine thought about his powers. He liked them and that's

    all that mattered, he could care less about this so clalled 'natural world' that Hircine seemed to cherish so much.

     

    Hircine looked up at Sheogorath, who had decided that he would have a cup of tea, upside down on the ceiling,

    "Sheogorath, get down here, we need to take about your so called 'powers.' A grunt was heard from the ceiling and the mad god

    descended into the dimly lit cavern and rotated his body ever so slighty so he would land on his feet. 

     

    He bowed low to the ground, Hircine's nostrils fared,

    "Mad god, do you plan to be amused, because I can assure you I am not." 

     

    Sheogorath drew himself up to his full height,

    "Most assuridly not, your horniness." He bow again, flashing the briefest of smiles at Hircine

     

    Hircinne growledd at Sheogorath, causing him toackpedal, not looking where he was going, he tred on Azure's tail as the wolf lay

    there, getting ready for a nap. White hot pain shot up to the wolf's now reptilian brain and he yelped in respone, he snarled at

    Sheogorath, lowering himself into a pouncing stance. Sheogorath tried to apologize, he fumbled over his words and instinctively

    groped for his staff in the darkness. When his hands closed around it, a bolt of ppinkish-blue lit shot from it and hit Azure. He

    transformed a great big brown bear. Sheogorath fell onto his hind quarters and backed into corner with the bear baring his teeth at

    him. 

     

    Wabbajack!

     

    The bear had vanished and changed to an angry wasp, ready to sting the mad god if he mad any sudden movements.Sheogorath,

    sweating now flowing like a river off of his face, pointed the staff at the wasp and hoped that this time it will be something easy to

    manage. The wasp vanished and a huge grey wolf stood where the wasp was minutes before.

    Hircine yelled for Sheogorath to stop and he set down the ground rules for the game,

    "One, there is to be no magic or reality warping of any kind." He raised his middle finger to join with his index, two, there is to being

    no cheating like conjuring up annoying creatures." The wolflord raised his ring finer, "and lastly, there is be no whing if you lose or

    overzealous gloating if you win."

     

    Sheogorath agreed on all three except he has had his own idea how to do things, he hated when other people told him what to do,

    and that includes being told not to cheat by a horny goat. Besides, cheating and warping reality are two things that he does well,

    perhaps a littel too well.The two daedric princes stared each toher down, both wanting the other to make the first move.

     

    Sheogorath conjured a microphone out of thin air. He did his best 'arena announcer' impersonation,

    He waved he hand vaguely in the corner of the cave where Hircine stood, "In the red corner weighing in at a measly one hundred

    thirty five pounds is the horned goat of Tamriel," Sheogorath blew a raspberry at Hircine.

     

    The mad god's face brightened horribly,

    "In the blue corner, weighing in at two hundred seventy five pounds  is the king of illusion, the prince of Mania and Dementia, the

    Tamrielic joker, SHEEOOGORRATH!" He mimicked the cheering of a crowd while clasping his hands above his head, shaking his hands

    lleft and right.

     

    "Now when I say go, come out and think up the best creature you can and remeember, absolutely no magic." Sheogorath stuck his

    hand out to Hircine complete with a wide smile, "May the best daedric creation win." Hircine shook the madgod's hands. "Thanks,

    but, I think we both know who will be walikng away with the victory, mad god." The microphone vanished into thin air. He voice

    returned to its normal octave.

     

    They both retreated into their corners. A blueish-black portal opened to nirn from the hunting grounds and a daedroth, as high as

    two highrises stacked on top of each other stepped forth from the portal. Hircine had a smug grin on his face.

     

    Sheogorath frowned,

    "I thought we agreed no magic."

     

    Hircine folded his arms across his chest and shrugged and answered in a sarcastic tone,

    "You would just cheat, so I thought why not beat a cheater at his own game?"

    Sheogorath also called forth a creature from Mania, A bright yellow portal opened just inches from where Sheogorath stood. A tiny

    bright colored bird hopped out. Hircine stared at it, mouth agape and then let out a laugh that echoed through the cavern. 

     

    He stared at Hircine with a bemused expression etched into his skull,

    "That? you're kidding right? That is who you sent into battle? My daedroth will easily crush that thing."

     

    Sheogorath smirked as he clearly had the adantage in this battle. quickness as well as brains beats brawn every time, in any battle

    whether it be with the mortals on nirn between two gods, as was the case here.

     

    Hircine and the mad god got their champions ready for battle, except that this was not a battle but merely a test to determine who

    could conjure up the better creature as well as a test of brain versus pure muscle.

     

    Sheogorath caught the bird in his hand and whispered,

    "Okay champ, go for the eyes andd watch out for the mouth and fists as daedroths tend to hit hard with both, jus have fun out there

    and make me proud." With those words, he set the bird free.

     

    He turned to see Hircine doing the same pep talk to his creature, the bell rang and both creatures came out fighting. The daedroth

    lumbered toward the bird and tried to smash it with its scaly fists but missed. Sheogorath had adopted his 'arena announcer' voice

    again.

     

    "Here they go, who will win? bird or hideous monster from Oblivion? The daedroth swungs at the bird, I think he might be a finch or

    a canary, anyway it is a small, very quick bird. The bird easily dodges the great lumbering beast's fists and, wow, the bird flew

    straight through the beast's open maw, can you believe it folks? the bird is definitely a survivor."

    Azure circled around and laid down, his tail tucked underneath his, ready to take a nap. By the gods, I hate daedra, especially

    Sheogorath He thought just before drifting off to sleep. The two daedra were too busy fighting to notice that the hound or 'Mr wolf'

    had fallen asleep and was therefore missing the shenanigans. 

     

    Azure watched as Hircine's monstrous daedroth and the madgod's miniscule bird went at it. The wolf whined as his ears lowered and

    cautiously watched the rest of it unfold.

     

    Hircine grinned as he watched his creation pin the bird against the cave fllor,

    "That's check and mate, well Sheogorath, it looks like I win.""

     

    Sheogorath took offense to Hircine's false bravado, but he knew, deep down in his heart, that he would come out on top. Just as the

    beast was about to chomp down on the bird's head with its mighty jaws, the bird flit through one of the creature's gitantic claws.

    Hircine looked stunned as Sheogorath did ssome sort of scottish jig. Ripping his eyes away from the madgod, Hircine watched as his

    creation tried, in vain, to catch the bird who was darting quickly and effortlessly above and below the daedroth frantically swiped

    claws. 

     

    The bird flew straight at the ddaedroth and perched itself on the creature's snout. The bird waggled its brightly colored rear end at

    the daedroth and flew away just as the scaly clawed hand was about to smack it away. The creature howled in pain as he clawed

    right through his snout, slicing it in half. Blood poured through the wound on the creatures face as it continued swiping at the bird,

    however, the bird was too quick for it.

    The daedroth lycanthrope growled, showing that he was done playing games. The beast bent his strong back legs and pushed from

    the cave floor and came soaring through the air at the bird, the bird saw this threat a little too late as the daedroth had it pinned to

    the cave wall next to its master. The helpless bird squawked and fluttered madly as the giant green hand held it fast to the wall by

    its tail.

     

    Hircine grinned with sasisfaction, 

    "Sheogorath, any lat works before your bird become my creation's dinner?"

     

    Sheogorath look from his brid, clinging to life by a rapidly fraying thread and then at the power hungry daedroth and finally to

    Hircine with a look of shock on his face. He knew he was beaten but he had to win somehow. He snapped his fingers and blood

    started spurting fro the daedroth claw, he wretched it back causing the bird to fly free. The bird flew up high and then came down

    hard on the daedroth and began pecking the giant lizard's eyes out. The daedroth roared in pain as he was blinded. Still determined

    to kill the bird, the daedroth used his  unsually storng sense of smell to pick on the birds scent and snatch it in his mouth. 

     

    The bird ttried feebily to escape the muscular jaws, but it was no use as the teeth began smashing the bird to a bloody mess. When

    the daedroth was finished with his meal, he spat out the bird, who was now coverred in blood, at Shegorath's feet. At this point,

    Sheogorath became outraged and advanced on Hircine, who had a stupidly smug look on his face.

     

    Sheogorath snarled at Hircine,

    "Why have you done this to my bird? No fair, I was supposed to win, it says so right here."

     

    A yellow peice of paper appeared in front of Hircine who brushing it aside with one hand. He did not need a sheet of paper to tell him

    the madgod was pissed, he could see it in his eyes, he was certain his tiny bird would win over Hircine's big, dumb, slow daedroth.

    He was utterly dumbfounded when that was not the case.

     

     Hircine smirked at Hircine,

    "What's the matter? are you upset that your tiny bird could not best my daedroth?"

     

    He then wagged his index finger at Sheogorath,

    "Tut, tut, well, you know what they say? When a lycanthrope is blinded, their other senses become two times stronger." He paused

    and though a bit, "A lyycanthrope's eyesight is piss poor anyway so," He laughed a little, "I geuss that makes sense, HA! get it?

    sense? See? you are not the only one who can make jokes."

     

    Sheogorath snarled at Hircine,

    Enough! You beat me so now I'll answer your damn question." Hircine waved a hand at his creature and it vanished just as quickly

    as it had arrived.

     

    Hircine sat down on a rock to his left,

    "Sheogorath, o you know anything about Molag Bal's plan that he is putting into action?"

     

    Sheogorath conjured a big armchair, similar to the one he sat on in the pitch dark room,

    "If you are asking am I helping the bastard? I'm not but I do know his plan, I mean knowing is half the chaos, right?" He said,

    tittering.

     

    Hircine slammed his fist down on the rock, disturbing tiny particles of dust,

    "For Nirn's sake, Tell me what you know, enough of your mindgames!" He yelled, causing some stalactites to come crashing to the

    ground.

     

    Sheogorath held his hands in front of his face, trying to shield himself from the falling rocks,

    "Ok, Ok, no need to get your antlers in a knot. So, I was in my castle in New Sheoth and a portal opened up next to my throne. I

    walked over and poked my head in. I saw Molag Bal sitting on the steps of a pyramid belittling a black-skinned Argonian for thinking

    he can outwit him. He was also surrounded by his vampiric servants."

     

    Hircine groaned,

    "By Oblivion, tell the whole story, you mad fucking moron."

     

    Sheogorath snapped his head around to face the Huntsman,

    "How rude. Now please, be a good huntsman and sit still and quiet while I tell my story."

     

    Sheogorath cleared his throat and began his tale,

    "I stepped into the portal and found myself in a swamp. Molag's minions could smell my cheesy musk on the air."

     

    The wolflord raised an eyebrow,

    "Your cheesy musk?" He sneered, sniggering


    Sheogorath glared at him, Hasir raised his hands and said that he should continue his tale. Sheogorath thanked him and told him

    about what he saw in the portal,

    "In the middle of the swamp when I was surrounded by bloodhungry fiends, I whipped out my wabbajack and I attempt to turn them

    all into lowly skeevers. The mad god sighed, "but, little did I know that vampires were immune to transmogrification magic."

     

    Hircine stared at the mad god, fighting the urge to laugh. Sheog glared at him in a 'don't you dare' way and proceeded with his tale,

    "Ahem, anyway, a great storm broke out and the pyramid's door flew open and a black Argonian with skeletal facepaint burst forth

    from the structure. The Argonian was livid, for years all reptilian peoples of Argonia had feared Sithis instead of having him ingrained

    into their lives like Argonians are doing now; he also said he had just perfected a machine that would pump a deadly over the

    regionwent inside the pyramid and saw a massive stone weather machine; it had a series of steel pipes protruding from it and

    climbing the wall behind it like vines; it looked like a dwemer ruin made of stone." 

     

    Sheogorath pulled a huge wheel of cheese from his pocket, laughing at the Argonian's hang-dog expression, conjured a knife, cut a

    wedge and stuffed it into his mouth,

    "I heard the Argonian come back and pull some kind of pulley system that seemed to operate the machine. They had strange

    markings that only the Argonian seemed to recognize as he positioned the large blocks on the pulley systems near the door he had

    just came from; the machine whirred to life as levers I have never seen before pressed themselves into the machine. I could then

    see a long string of light that extended from the top of the machine to the clouds which filled with the deadly plague.

     

    He took a breath and then continued,

    "The Argonian walked over to the machine and fiddled with a setting with I could not see and made it raiin acid green upon the

    region. I head a rather loud thunderclap sound outside, but I dared not investigate as I already knew: Molag Bal came to drag the

    region, known as Haj Uxith, into coldharbor., he heard the tell-tale whirring sounds as the dark achors appeared in the sky as well as

    clanking sounds as chains ending with long stakes cascade down like fallen angels and slam around the two Xanmeer and the hist

    tree. The mad god did not know why Molag Bal wanted Haj Uxith but he does know one thing: the village upset Molag Bal in one

    wayy or another.

     

    He started to move, but froze as he heard a familiar voice,

    "Beela-Kaar, you think you are above me? Foolish Argonian, I'll show you what happens when insects think they are above a god." A

    rumbling sound rippled through the ruin like water and then the mad god heard a sound like a million trees being uprooted as the

    village, he and Beela-Kaar were lifted skyward. The machine whined pitifully to try to stay active but pipes began breaking like

    human bones, spewing steam instead of blood. The Miasma, however continued to mix with the clouds in the swampy sky. Molag Bal

    only wants the buildings, beings and land of the region, not the sky. The building the Sheogorath was in started pllaneshifting from

    the swampy, serene atmosphere of Blackmarsh flickered away and was replaced by the cold, unforgiving atmosphere of the daedric

    realm which was moreorless a twisted, inhuman mirrored version of Nirn. The mad god retreated out of the ruin entrance,

    "What in Oblivion?" He asked, seeing many strange sides around him

     

    Molag Bal's voice boomed out of the dreary sky as if out of a megaphone,

    "Well, that is one way to put it. mad god. I brought the pathetic Argonian here because he dared to defy me."

     

    Sheogorath cocked his head as if to comprehend what the god of domination had told him,

    "Really, why did you have to punish the other Argonians then?"

     

    The voice laughed, causing the sky to shake,

    "The more souls I can drag down into my realm the better."

    The wolflord sat on a rock sticking out of the cavren floor as he eyed the daedric prince questioningly,

    "So I guess Beela-Kaar is not evil then. He may just be a victim of circustance." He thought on this, "I guess Molag Bal is the real

    villain.

     

    Sheogorath nodded and said after he heard that from Molag Bal he teleported back to his palace from that cold, twisted realm. Azure

    smelled warm light coming through the slits in the cavern's walls. He transformed back into his Argonian form. Hasir walked over to

    the mad god, who was grinning madly at Hircine,

    "So, what are you guys talking about?" he asked as he looked from one the the other

     

    Sheogorath told the Argonian that he rrecounted the last time he was in Blackmarsh to the horny god. He also told Hasir that the

    black Argonian, Beela-Kaar, an Argonian long seen as evil was more of a victim of circumstance and that Molag Bal was the real

    villain. Hasir said that was news to him but that still did not explain the destruction of the mnemic seeds.

    Hircine exchanged bewildered looks,

    "Well, ermmm, I know nothing of such things." Hircine said. 

     

    Hasir glanced at Sheogorath, who did not know either. Hircine Suggested a local village tree minder,

    ""Hound, you might try a tree-minder in your homeland of stormhold, they might know more than we do." He gestured between

    himself and Sheogorath. Hasir smiled and assented mournfully.

     

          

Comments

1 Comment   |   Sotek likes this.
  • Sotek
    Sotek   ·  March 18, 2020
    Ouch...  lots going on here. Liked the fight. Got other plans fot that. Hope it goes as well as yours did.