Skelebobs by the Dozen

  • Skelebobs by the Dozen

    By Auguris Cedas


    Skelebob number one was when we walked in,

    I never knew that I could scream that way.


    And skelebob number two was in Labyrinthian,

    He showed up and I just ran away.


    Now we've got skelebobs by the dozen, skelebobs by the score.

    Every corridor we go down, we find three skelebobs more.

    Yes I've got skelebobs by the dozen, a fight that I can't win.

    But the day you stop complaining, that's the day old Alduin's won.


    Skelebob number three was an Akaviri,

    I never knew that they could hit that hard.


    With grumbling that could be heard back in Markarth,

    You killed him and hauled me back upon on unsteady feet.


    Now we've got skelebobs by the dozen, skelebobs by the score.

    Every corridor we go down, we find three skelebobs more.

    Yes I've got skelebobs by the dozen, a fight that I can't win.

    But the day you stop complaining, that's the day old Alduin's won.

     Akaviri Skeleton


    Authors Note:


    Now follows an expert from the lives of Auguris and Lydia, in screenwriting, to give some background to the term “skelebobs”.


    SHROUD HEARTH BARROW - DAY

    In the depths of Shroud Hearth Barrow, Auguris and Lydia are slowly making their way past numerous Draugr and traps after discovering that the haunting was merely a ruse by a greedy Dunmer to obtain the sapphire claw.


    AUGURIS

    ARGHHH

     

    LYDIA

    What on Nirn? Oh it’s a skeleton, seriously Auguris!

     

    AUGURIS

    But it’s supposed to be dead!

     

    LYDIA

    Skyrim’s a bit, umm special, we have a lot of undead, necromancers like it here, the cold preserves the bodies

    (swings sword at approaching skeleton)

     

    AUGURIS

    (ducks away from the splintering bones which are flying in all directions, hears a splosh, looks over into the pool of water)

    Um, what do you think his name was?

     

    LYDIA

    What? (twists to fend off another skeleton) One minute you’re scared as a bairn, the next you want to know what his name was?

     

    AUGURIS

    I wonder if it was Bob?

     

    LYDIA

    (sternly)

    Bob?

     

    AUGURIS

    Well his head is just bobbing around...

     

    LYDIA

    One day Auguris… How on Nirn did your wife ever cope with you? This is not the time

     

    AUGURIS

    Well he’s now a dead dead skelebob

     

    LYDIA

    (shakes head)

    Come on, there’s still more of them and whatever else is buried in here

     

    Table of Contents - The Imperial Auditor

Comments

6 Comments   |   The Long-Chapper and 2 others like this.
  • Sotek
    Sotek   ·  September 11, 2016
    Skelebob!!!!
    Was looking forwards to see this get posted. 
  • Paws
    Paws   ·  September 4, 2016
    :D
  • The Long-Chapper
    The Long-Chapper   ·  September 4, 2016
    This 400 words though? Needs to be if tagged TSC:long. Now... tag it TSC : Poem and we're good. 
    • Meli
      Meli
      The Long-Chapper
      The Long-Chapper
      The Long-Chapper
      This 400 words though? Needs to be if tagged TSC:long. Now... tag it TSC : Poem and we're good. 
        ·  September 5, 2016
      I'll double check the word count, and update when I'm on desktop. Also, tags were confusing, it's sort of a poem but also a screenplay.. 
      • Meli
        Meli
        Meli
        Meli
        Meli
        I'll double check the word count, and update when I'm on desktop. Also, tags were confusing, it's sort of a poem but also a screenplay.. 
          ·  September 5, 2016
        Google says altogether, 406, but I wouldn't call it a long, so will add TSC: Poem (A)
  • The Long-Chapper
    The Long-Chapper   ·  September 4, 2016
    This made me laugh. Skelebobs.  :D