Short Story: An Account of Necromancy

  • Necromancy, being the tabooed practice that it is, is widely discouraged in most Tamrielan provinces. Though nobody is exactly sure why this particular veto came about, the general accepted reason for the prohibition of Necromancy is a rather simple one: dead things smell bad. Trivial? Perhaps to some, but not so to the friends and relatives of necromancers, who have, on one-too-many occasions, found their houses engulfed in eye-watering scents when their sons/colleagues/distant third-cousins experimented with the arcane. It is for this reason that the practice of Necromancy is only done by those who have no acquaintances to repulse- and even those sad few individuals keep their dealings with the dead secret.

    Around the time when M.Z.F. Anchivius was establishing laws for his well-known book Legal Basics, which informs readers how to properly conduct themselves in Tamriel, Necromancy practice was almost unheard of. As such, technically, no legal regulations bound the practice of Necromancy- and due to an oversight by a particularly inept researcher of the Mage's Guild, all updated rules and regulations that govern other schools of magic such as Destruction ('Thou shalt not cast a Flame Cloak when in a populated area surrounded by flammable or inflammable material') do not include laws to regulate the undead. The College of Winterhold Rule Book is, at present, the only guide book to mention Necromancy at all. The entirety of the entry can be found on page 549 under the sub-heading 'Necromancy', followed by a solitary word: no. 

    The vagueness of the rules of conduct regarding the undead have sparked many debates among necromancers; and one such dispute happened between three newly-appointed necromancers in Fellglow Keep of the Skyrim province in 4E 201:

    After a rather heated discussion about the things that could and could not be done to corpses, in which things like "You can't do that, that's disgusting!" and "I don't care if the corpse doesn't technically object!" were yelled, two necromancers were left staring at each other hatefully over the prostrate body of their very recently deceased colleague. Both men were in a fighting stance, a necromantic spell at the ready, and both were shiftily eyeing each other and the cadaver on the floor. 

    When, after a lull, the first spell was cast, the third necromancer (who until recently had been face-down on the floor) began to stir, and rise. Before the necromancer who had cast the spell could smile in triumph, however, the second necromancer cast his spell on the now undead corpse- and managed to wrest control of it. Frowning and confused, the first necromancer cast another necromantic spell on the zombie, and to his delight found it turning its attention back to the second mage. Not to be outdone, the zombie was re-configured again, and the cycle continued.

    Some forty casts later, the addled reanimated corpse somehow decided to end its own suffering by going against its commands, plucking a torch off of a nearby wall, and setting itself on fire. Unfortunately, this extraordinary behaviour was never catalogued, as while the smarter of the two surviving necromancers made a mental note of the zombie's actions, the other one promptly buried a knife in his back. As events unfolded, the only surviving account of the whole affair was a footnote in the remaining necromancer's diary that read: By Azura, dead things smell bad. 

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    Writer's Note:
    I've been re-reading Douglas Adams' 'Hitchhiker' books, and I've always found his writing style very intriguing. This is my attempt to write in a similar manner. I do hope I haven't made too many errors regarding lore...

    More Short Tales

Comments

21 Comments
  • Medieval
    Medieval   ·  January 1, 2016
    Necromancy its always good for me :P
  • The Wing
    The Wing   ·  September 30, 2015
    I know what you mean, FishDout! I have never been in mourning but have often tried to write characters who have had friends or family die in front of them. It's really really hard to make it sound believable. x_x
  • Andrew Shepherd
    Andrew Shepherd   ·  September 30, 2015
    Take your time. Sometimes a short story can stimulate ideas for your longer ones
  • FishDout
    FishDout   ·  September 30, 2015
    It's hard to sound sincere and heartfelt when writing about a mourning character... I'm far from giving up though, I have great things planned for the Guard!  : D
  • The Long-Chapper
    The Long-Chapper   ·  September 30, 2015
    You gotta go back to the guard's tale though. He's my favorite of your stories. This is well and good, don't get me wrong, but I really wanna know what happens to him. 
  • FishDout
    FishDout   ·  September 30, 2015
    So glad you enjoyed it, Unhelpful! Any more praise like that and my ego's going to become planet-sized before the day is out XD
  • The Wing
    The Wing   ·  September 30, 2015
    FishDout, this is pure genius. XD You used Douglas Adams' style so well, I could hardly believe it was your writing! Well done for having me laugh out loud - it doesn't happen often! 
  • Andrew Shepherd
    Andrew Shepherd   ·  September 29, 2015
    I actually thought you were grown up a while back! I need to keep my corrupting influence under control!

    Ok gotta go. Sitting on the Tarmac in Adelaide next to my screaming six year old daughter about to take off and fly to Sydney.
    more
  • Accursed
    Accursed   ·  September 29, 2015
    I'm not quite sure I will either! ;D
  • Andrew Shepherd
    Andrew Shepherd   ·  September 29, 2015
    And as for me, I actually never grew up