February 11, 2013 2:54 AM EST
1. Welcome to the cold land of Skyrim. Please, introduce your Dovahkiin.
Umm, hi. My name is Igiri and I'm an alcoholic... Wait what?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN "NOT AN AA MEETING"?? *shuffles feet awkwardly* I'm a redguard. And a guy... Hence the beard.
2. Troubled beginning... Why was your Dovahkiin captured in the first place?
I was walking through the Woods half drunk with a hell of a hangover, when some dorky skirt wearing imperial ran up to me, sword raised, and yells "DIE STORMCLOAK" so I broke his wrist and ran him though with his dinky sword. Who was I to know he had lots of friends?
3. Now show us what your Dovahkiin is good at.
Holding my two axes, Axel froze and Icescream, while taking heads. Or sitting where you can't see me and putting an arrow where the sun don't shine.
4. Most favorite NPC vs least one! What happens?
Helgi the loner archer chick(fave) and Delphine(I think parthanax is rad)
Me: you want me t-to KILL parthanax? Just so I can join your club??
Delphine: Your choice, the monster or us.
Me: then I chose Helgi!
Delphine: what?
Helgi:I'm independent.
Delphine:ok, but what does this have to do with parth-
Helgi:my family was killed by bandits...
Delphine:...um, want me to find and kill them?
Helgi: nope, did it already, thanks though.
Delphine: ...ok, umm, Igiri?
Helgi: he left at "by bandits"
Delphine:Bastard!
5. Everyone needs some lovin! Whom does your Dovahkiin want some from?
Everyone! I save the world, end the war, lead the companions, run the thieves guild, listen to a dead chick and I'm the headmaster of the only school IN ALL OF SKYRIM! The least people could do is show a little respect! NO SOMEBODY DID NOT STEAL MY FREAKING SWEETROLL, AND YOU, if you think my clothes are so ugly THEN WHY DO YOU SELL THEM??!?!
6. What about quests ? Which one is your favorite?
Decerning the transmundane! That crazy old bastard! Every bit of that quest was creepy, from the skooma feind in the begining to my first glimpse into the horrorshow that is Blackreach. First time I was down there i thought I'd explore, five days later I made it out, blooded like never before!
7. Factions, Factions... Which one do you prefer?
I am my own faction!...walk with the shadows while hailing sithis shield sibling...oh and do your homework!
8. What if your Oblivion/Morrowind character met your Dovahkiin?
Igiri: GAH! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE??
Dorkly the woodelf: knerf blerg nee HAW!!
Igiri: by the nine, you poor thing, have a septim.
Dorkly: *drools*
Igiri: eww...
9. What did you like most in Skyrim?
Dovahkiin, dovahkiin, come and sing to skyrim! Ho ho ho what was that? I just cut off my foot! I just cut off my foot, in one single slice! Dovahkiin, follow me wa-ha-ha-hatch the skys!
10. Is there anything you didn’t like?
Followers AI, I used j'zarrgos flamecloak and it hit Lydia so she decided to start hitting me, surprisingly just this once she was actually doing damage... So I cut her head off...
11.Anything else to add? Then rate the game and spread the TESV: Skyrim Meme love!
I JUST CUT OFF MY FOOT!!