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Event Build: The New Sheogorath

Tags: #Event:Deities  #Karver  #Game:OB  #Type:Build  #Specialization:Magic  #Classics 
  • November 7, 2014

    For this event I chose Sheogorath, our favorite daedric prince of madness. All of you have played Shivering Isles many times but have you ever embraced the fact that you are new Sheogorath? I tried that with this build and it was...mad. And fun. So I humbly presen....

     

    How does one write on this shiny thing? Oh! Greetings, mortals! Sheogorath here, your Lord of Cheese. Or was it Madness? Never sure. Anyway, the self-proclaimed author of this build died by the most agonizing – and tremendiously hilarious - death I've ever seen. Wheel of cheese fell on his head. And he CHOKED! ON CHEESE! Hahahahaha. Not that I had hand in that. Stop pointing fingers! Haskill did it! True story.

    But back to the point. Because that insanely sane author is dead, the responsibility of presenting this build about Me is mine now. So let's have a look at me, shall we?

    The New Sheogorath

    Nice colors, eh? The red color is made of blood and the others...ya don't want to know.

     

    Race: I wasn´t always a god, ya know. No, ya don't! How could ya? Don't try to tell me ya knew that, even I didn't know that, and I know everything. Almost. Mostly. Mostly almost. But two hundreds years from now I will be on a vacation in old friend´s mind of mine and ya will know I am Breton. How do I know that? How I am supposed to know?!

    Birthsign: Lord. Definitely Lord. Because I'm Lord of the never-there. There! On the sky. You see the Lord? NEVER!

    Major Skills: Illusion, Blade, Conjuration, Sneak

    Minor Skills: Alteration, Athletics, Acrobatics

    Specialization:Magic

    Main Stats: I´m the personification of Personality and Intelligence. Ya don't believe? Ya can ask my Dark Seducers. In a dungeon. With torturing tools – like cakes. Horrible things.

    Secondary Stats: My madness gives me really overwhelming Willpower. Ya will know that, when ya will want to kill your neighbour for calling your flowers: „beautiful things“. Doesn't make sense? Then there is time for a contest of Speed. Try and catch me, lazy maggot. It is like catching ataxia. Muhahaha

    Equipment: Naked. I prefer going to Tamriel naked.

    He is not being serious, mortals.“ - Haskill

    SHUT UP, HASKILL! Can't ya see I'm pulling their legs? Alright, let's be serious. I could pull your legs off ya know. But no vacation to Tamriel should be taken without My Regalia, Talisman of Abetment, Dawnfang/Duskfang – curse that thing! - Wabbajack and the most exquisite Staff of Me  Staff of Sheogorath, if ya didn't get it ya demented maniacs! Haskill, shame on ya! Now ya hurt their feelings. Apologize to those maniacal morons.

    Recommended Quests: Shivering Isles, Paranoia, My Shrine, Oblivion Crisis, Crazy Things

     

    Ya know what time it is? It's time for: 

    A COMMERCIAL!

    Best game ever, don't miss your chance. Ya can save the world of Tamriel from demonic hordes of Mehrunes Dagon bla bla bla. If ya buy now, ya will get a discount of an amazing 1 septim. And as a gift ya will get a wheel of true Tamrielic Eidar Cheese. But don't sniff that thing. It took me weeks to ressurect Haskill.

     

    The Build

    Sheogorath for president!

    Tamriel doesn't have president, my Lord. Only Emperor.“ - Haskill

    See, that's why I can be the new president.

     

    Time to look at how to be Me. Open your copy of Sheogorath's Guide: How to be Sheogorath on page 43 – that's where the things get interesting. Ya don't have SG:HtbS? No cheese for ya!

    Alright, let's start from the scratch. Don't scratch! Damn, scratch that.

    Illusion: I'm god of this thing. Nothing is as funny as those guards with Force Sense when they attack each other. Or nobody. Frenzy and Calm, chaps, Frenzy and Calm. Sounds like a mantra to me. And sometimes the people are running away from me in fear. FROM ME! From such pleasant fellow. Even in dungeons. And they pull all the horrible things doing who knows what. That is...MADNESS

    Blade: Sometimes folks just don't listen and ya don't have any choice but to make a sweater from their innards. Nice pink sweater, I think. I've never been a god tailor. Hahahahaha, Tailor God. Now that's a thing I must see. And then I'll make new shoes out of him. With that bloody thing Dawnfang or Duskfang– never know what it's name. Fang-something. It does what it wants. But it wants to kill. Twelve dead people and it's stronger. Why twelve I ask?

    Conjuration: Mainly for summoning Haskill. Every 5 minutes! Never gets boring! He'll always giva ya some melancholic advice on Shivering Isles.

    I will take that as a compliment.“ - Haskill

    Ya can also summon some Hungers. Not in your stomach. I mean that things I´ve borrowed from Boethiah. He's not funny Daedric Prince, he can't stand a good joke. Earil in Crucible can teach you how too summon them. Just don't waste much time there. Time!

    Sneak: Lord of never-there. Get it?. Ya can't obviously see madness. If ya could, ya would defecate yourselfs.

    Disgusting idea.“ - Haskill

    Alteration, Athletics, Acrobatics: Even a god must to protect himself. And armor's too heavy. And if that fails, you run and jump. Jumping makes you faster! SIMPLICITY!

    Madgod running from common bandits. World must have really gone crazy.“ - Haskill

     

    Roleplay

    See? That's me and my dad. Running the family business ya know. Sort of. Ya could say I'm my own father. Or my own son. Crazy, I know.

    You are a genius, my Lord. Really brilliant.“ - Haskill

     

    So let's start with becoming me. Open Sheogorath's Gui – Oh, you don't have one. I'm really starting to lose my... Don't know what. Alleft... I mean alright – why must it always be right? - let's talk being me. Ya must visit Shivering Isles. Didn't see that one coming did ya?

    Move aside, Madgod's coming.

     

    Really lovely time to visit Isles. Grey March this, Grey March that, Jyggalag sucks, Jyggalag spat. This is where ya obtain the most awesome items. Like that Fang-something sword. That one is important. And Staff of Me, that one is important too. When ya will become Me, don't forget I have two sides. Like a coin. Mania and Dementia. Crazy and Depression. Good and Bad. Sort of. Always the wild card. I could help ya or I could kill ya. So act like me. Help someone, fetch someone...eh, fetch something for someone, choke someone. FUN!

    It is true, mortals. If Lord Sheogorath meets someone on a bridge, he might talk with him. He might kill him. Or he might just walk across the bridge. Or just tear it down for sport.“ - Haskill

    After ya defeat that boring Order thing, ya might think you are a god. WHY DO YA THINK I'M WRITING THIS BUILD? You are not! But you are becoming me. Slowly.

    Lord Sheogorath wants to say thay you maybe earned title of the Madgod, but you are not a Daedric Prince yet. You might have some of his powers, but your mind is still yours. It will take time to fully merge your personalities.“ - Haskill

    So help people in my realm, please. Be nice, toss old granny from a rooftop. Something like that. Puppy-eyes please. That's an order, mortal! Ya don't want your people to be angry with ya. Just don't change the weather. Much.

    And then there are vacations!

    That's me on vacation in Jamaica. With butter-joint. It really smells of butter.

    Yes, I remember that one. Couldn't get the scent out of my underwear for years. No commentary.“ - Haskill

    As Haskill said, I'm not yet a fully grown Daedric Prince, so I can visit Tamriel anytime I want. Hilarious! Helping that good chap Glarthir, stopping Dagonfrom destroing my favourite vacation location in Tamriel, and visiting My shrine sounds like fun. But ya should make some noise. Ya know what I mean? No, it's not farting. Madgod doesn't fart. Just visit your friends in the Imperial City, steal some cheese, Wabbajack your own summoned Hunger, cast some Frenzy and Fear spells on bypassers – because they eat your cheese! That's fun! I could do that all day.

    But I might slaughter them later.

    Astounding as always, my Lord.“ - Haskill

     

    I hope next time you will take some fire precautions.“ - Haskill

    Combat

     

    I hate this thing. Someone's always trying to kill me.

    Why, I ask myself.“ - Haskill

    But they can't kill something they don't see! Invisibility! Just don't pull their ears, that makes people angry. Summon your Hunger and eat them! Ya know what I mean. I am almost a god of madness, so make them mad. FrenzyCalmFearControl, these are your weapons, their weak minds are your playthings. Madness ya say? THIS IS...I forgot my line. Oh, yes, THIS IS MADNESS!

    And ya can heal yourself, did ya know that? I am Lord with Lord birthsignand Lord Stone – no, forget about that. That one sucks. Use Aetherius Stone. It will boost your magicka and resistance to it. Back to healing. Blood of the North – still wonder why north. Your best healing spell – well, the only one. Use it often.

    Blood of the North is a spell associated with Lord Birthsign. It can replenish large portions of your health over time and it can be used how many times you want.“ - Haskill

    Most importantly, don't ya dare forget your Staff of Me. It works like a „Oh sh..Haskill“ button. Everyone will freeze. Just don't attack them, that is hardly fair. Ya know what? Feel free to try! It won't change a damn thing.

    If ya want to just rip people to shreds, use Fang-something sword. Really powerful thing. I just wonder, when it starts talking. Did ya know that Dawnfang has a brother? Yeah, Duskfang. They always switch. Like twins, ya never know who is who.

    Wabbajack. WABBAJACK! I know Jack, but who's Wabba? Nevermind, cheese for everyone. Use it on your Hunger when ya visit a city. Wabbajack. Not the cheese. If only I could throw cheese... 

     

    I´m glad you can't, my Lord. Beware, mortals. Don't take anything Lord Sheogorath says seriously.“ - Haskill

    Ya just can't appreciate fun.

    Final Words

    So that is it, build about me. And to be honest, I lied. The author is not dead. But that thing about cheese was true. He´s still stuck in that wheel of cheese. Trying to chew his way out! Hahahahaha.

     

     

    This isn't funny. Not at all? Who threw that cheese? I think I'll hate cheese for rest of my life. And it seems I wrote the build even with my head in a wheel of cheese. It doesn't look bad, I say. I hope you had fun reading it. And more fun when you do all the crazy stuff writen down.

    And I would like to thanks Kael´than for his help with my poor grammar. And for his patience of course.

    I think I should close it with something funny, but instead of it I will close it with something sad. I still don't get that Lord of the never-there. Could someone explain? :D

  • Member
    November 7, 2014
    YES!!!!! It's up! The pure maniacal genius of the great lord of cheese! Just another pointer, at the end you said writed - it's written. The sheer logic is so mind blowingly...non-existent :D. Don't bother saying the thing about not understanding never-there twice, but that's the only thing. Great job Karver, it's come out great!
  • November 7, 2014

    Thanks, Kael.

    I would like to edit it, but as you know, I have some problems with that right now. I think it's Madgod's doing! :D

  • Member
    November 7, 2014
    Or maybe that wheel of cheese messed up the ability to edit it.
  • November 7, 2014

    I hate cheese....

  • Member
    November 7, 2014

    Your presentation is very characteristic of Sheogorath, and really ties the piece together nicely. Also, your roleplaying, which you spread throughout the whole page, is probably the best I have seen in a while. However, here are a few minor suggestions:

    1) I like how you embolden important words in the equipment section. Could you please do that with all of the spell names, skill and attribute names, race/birthsign names, major combat tactics, and anything else integral to the build? Though I love the tone of the presentation, I would also want to be able to see any important parts without going through the whole page.

    2) Your quotations have strange punctuation; try to put the " mark on both sides of the quotation, instead of doing this: ,,"

    Other than these two finishing touches, the build is great. It really makes Shivering Isles feel personal.

  • November 8, 2014

    Strange. I didnt notice those quotations until you mentioned them. And I will make the important things more visible. As soon as page let me edit it.

  • November 8, 2014

    Edited

  • November 8, 2014

    Me too. Most of the tactics can be used there. But I think there already is Sheogorath Build. Not sure who´s but I am sure I stumbled upon it.

  • Member
    November 8, 2014

    This is impressive.