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Pun-ny Pun-tastic Puns!

    • 206 posts
    July 16, 2017 12:32 PM EDT

    Over the course of a few weeks there have been riddles, poetry and other fun topics on this site. But then I realized that there was something lacking. Something that's slightly different that anyone can join in on and have fun (without the utter humilation).

    I'm talking about PUNS dammit!

    Elder Scrolls has always twisted words as metaphorical or literal meanings so why not we twist words for the sake of humor?

    So share us your puns. Be it cheesy or creative, all puns are accepted. 

    Why don't I start with a few of my own?

    When a Hlaalu celebrates a victory - "That's 'Hlaalu' do it in House Hlaalu!"

    If Jyggalag took on a female form and had HDT physics - "Jiggle-lag"

    If Sheogorath decides to appear as a Khajiit - "Shag-gorath"

    What's the Skyrim version of 'Journey - Don't Stop Believin''? - "Dawnstar Believing"

     

     


    This post was edited by KaiserSoSay at July 16, 2017 12:33 PM EDT
    • 199 posts
    July 16, 2017 12:34 PM EDT

    Why doesn't Sheogorath play online games? Jygga-lag.

     

    Epic idea for a thread, good sir.

    • 360 posts
    July 16, 2017 1:17 PM EDT

    You want silly?

    Aela, Farkas and Vilkas are all sitting in the hall of Jorrvaskr looking miserable and feeling worse for wear. Aela half yelled at the Harbinger over the unsucsessful hunt they went on.

    "There's a deer out there. I swear to Hircine Harbinger... It breathed fire, it ran like a whirlwind and it even Fus Ro Dah'd Farkas to the ground".

     

    Kodlak rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath.

    "Sounds like you've med the Dragonfawn".

    • 127 posts
    July 16, 2017 11:42 PM EDT

    A redguard wanted to be a smith but he had butter fingers and his hammerfell.

    @Sotek met* :)

  • July 17, 2017 1:44 AM EDT
    Why Orcs make good gardeners? They have Green Thumbs.
    • 824 posts
    July 17, 2017 2:07 AM EDT

    I'm no master wordsmith and in fact I might just be bad at puns but hey why not it seems fun.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    "Say there, where do you live?" 

    "I live in Solitude, real nice people there" 

    "Wait, if you live in solitude, that means your alone doesn't it?"

    "Huh, no plenty of people live in Solitude, all together in one big location"

    "Friend, I'm not sure if you understand what solitude means"

     

    • 206 posts
    July 17, 2017 2:37 AM EDT
    Alright, round two for me.
    What do you call an Orcish choir? - "An orc-hestra"
    What's the secret door knock to enter the Twilight Sepulchre? - "Knock. Turn. All."
    What's the most favorite sport played in Coldharbor? - "Molag Ball"
    What happens when you combine the Dubstep Gun and the Wabbajack? - "You get the Wub-bub-jack"
    • 1356 posts
    July 17, 2017 2:42 AM EDT

    KaiserSoSay said: Alright, round two for me. What do you call an Orcish choir? - "An orc-hestra" What's the secret door knock to enter the Twilight Sepulchre? - "Knock. Turn. All." What's the most favorite sport played in Coldharbor? - "Molag Ball" What happens when you combine the Dubstep Gun and the Wabbajack? - "You get the Wub-bub-jack"

    Ok, that one got me :D

    What do you call a horny male elf? A Wood elf.

    What do you call an attractive female elf? An "I would elf"

    • 206 posts
    July 17, 2017 3:03 AM EDT
    Ooo I just thought of another elf pun during chemistry class.

    What do you call an Elf with many wives? - "A polymer"
    • 199 posts
    July 17, 2017 4:55 AM EDT

    Not mine, but too great to not share:

     

    • 96 posts
    July 18, 2017 4:46 PM EDT

    Which hold of Skyrim makes the best athletes?  Whiterun.

    I tried to get to Anvil once, but got knocked off course.  Elsweyr now.

    What club can get you to the Cloud District?  A giant's club.

    Who is the God of Dance?  Juliardos.