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Grand Teddy Hunt

  • May 27, 2017 5:30 AM EDT

    Hey, people. So if you haven´t noticed our Lissette got her hands on free Fallout 4 for the weekend (the horror!) and it wouldn´t be her if she didn´t come up with something really crazy to do with the game. Like, when a normal person gets Fallout he/she plays through the main quest first or just explores and such things.

    But Lissette? No, nothing like that. 

    Lissette came up with completely nuts idea about saving all Teddy Bears from the apocalyptic wasteland. And because it´s Lissette, we are saving all Teddy Bears.

    So yeah, who´s in? Who´s going to save all Teddy Bears with us? Go out there, find yourself a Teddy, take a picture - and frankly, the weirder Teddy the better, because we all know how weird Teddy Bears are in Fallout 4, right? Yup. 

    Gotta save ´em all! 

     

  • May 27, 2017 5:32 AM EDT

    So, here is my first Teddy Bear. I mean, I´ve been playing like for an hour and found only this one so far, in a destroyed house somewhere in north-western end of Boston city. Just simple Teddy, sitting there among toys. Where are the weird ones when you need them?

    • 215 posts
    May 27, 2017 5:49 AM EDT

    Yay!  So I have power armor and guns now, so I will go on quest!

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    May 27, 2017 5:57 AM EDT

    Good take them and lock them away so that they cannot harm Reginald, Fir would happily slaughter them all but she does not want Reginald to see that, so it is best that they are taken far away.

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    May 27, 2017 6:02 AM EDT

    *salvages teddy bear* MUHAHAHA

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    May 27, 2017 7:30 AM EDT

    I'm totally into this. Don't worry teddy's! The Silver Shroud is here to save you!

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    May 27, 2017 7:59 AM EDT

    I founds one, I founds one!!! Rescued its from Radiation and feral ghouls!!

    Here is the location. Wicked Shipping Fleet Lockup. 

    There was ghouls and things and I killeds them!!! And then I went in here, braving the radiations!

    And looky! All inside and scareds!  


    This post was edited by The Long-Chapper at May 27, 2017 10:25 AM EDT
  • May 27, 2017 8:03 AM EDT

    I found one real messed up family of Teddy Bears in a wreckage of a bus inside Mass Spike Tunnel. 

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    May 27, 2017 8:15 AM EDT

    Forgive my ignorance about Fallout, but what the hell is with the teddy bears?

    Is it like a sweetroll thing in Fallout?

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    May 27, 2017 8:17 AM EDT

    Damnit Karve, was about to post those. Ah well, I've got another one anyway XD

    These two teddies are having a grand old time down in the Beantown brewery. Mr. teddy went all out and offered his Misses some quality beer before inviting her onto the conveyer belt for some stuffing.

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    May 27, 2017 8:18 AM EDT

    KaiserSoSay said:

    Forgive my ignorance about Fallout, but what the hell is with the teddy bears?

    Is it like a sweetroll thing in Fallout?

    In Fallout 4, the developpers decided to put a whole lot of teddy bears in different scenes, from reading on the toilet to a full on surgery center in a bus. Liss heard of that and decided that she would spend her week-end tracking them down. You know? business as usual really.

  • May 27, 2017 8:20 AM EDT

    For some stuffing....hehehehe....phrasing! :D

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    May 27, 2017 8:23 AM EDT

    Teineeva said:

    In Fallout 4, the developpers decided to put a whole lot of teddy bears in different scenes, from reading on the toilet to a full on surgery center in a bus. Liss heard of that and decided that she would spend her week-end tracking them down. You know? business as usual really.

     

    The developers sure have a weird fetish. But who am I to complain. Keep on hunting! Commence Operation: Teddy!

  • May 27, 2017 1:14 PM EDT

    Found this poor chap buried under a rubble near the top of Layton Towers. Poor guy...

     

     

    • 202 posts
    May 27, 2017 1:47 PM EDT

    Lis is actually "saving" all the teddy bears so she can load em' as ammo into the Junk Jet and kill people with plushies! :D

    • 215 posts
    May 27, 2017 1:51 PM EDT
    We respect the teddys, Noodles. They are like chickens in Skyrim. Sacred. :D
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    May 27, 2017 7:35 PM EDT

    I found these two in an overrun sattelite station by the name of Olivia. Not sure what the first one is doing but the second one is clearly a distinguished member of the Teddy military and has risked his life protecting the army's supplies. Good on you soldier!

    • 202 posts
    May 27, 2017 8:50 PM EDT

    Massachusetts State House. Be extra careful. There's mines, a mirelurk queen and a raider boss in power armor with a minigun.

    • 215 posts
    May 28, 2017 12:22 AM EDT

    Well, I found a grand total of 14 teddies with a total of 13 rescues in my inventory.

     

    Teineeva posted the ones in the Olivia tower., which I found as well.  But I found this one near Tempine's Bluff. I think. He had a wee bottle of that Radaway.

    And this one... at an abandoned shack.

    But then uh this happened. :D At the Super Duper Mart at Lexington. He could not be screwed, and believe me, I spent about 20min shooting at that basket.

     

    Then I stumbled upon post 115 while on my way to Diamond City. And yeah, I went inside. I found a bunch of super ghouls. And then these poor, poor teddies. 

    In total, 8 teddies were rescued from Post 115. That was sick. Should I have been tackling super mutants at level 8, probably not. But it sure was fun.

     

    Our hero, Teddy Ruxpin. Made it to level 10. He is wielding the Teddy Rescuer, a modified pistol of some type.

     

     

     

  • May 28, 2017 4:22 PM EDT

    秋蝶滅熊記

    Qiu Die's Teddy Bear Purge

     

     

    May 2062

    Mother was known all across Foshan as the best seamstress in the province. While Father worked the rice paddy fields, she stayed at home with her needle and thread and helped everyone around the village with their clothes, patching up holes and adding extra pockets. But the one thing she loved the most was making cloth dolls. When no work was coming in and everyone was warmly dressed, she would plonk herself down, bring out a collection of rags and her sewing kit, in within an hour she would have a little braided Qing official or a tiny girl in a Qipao with a hand-painted smile sitting on her desk. On the weekend, she would take her dolls, venture into the city, and sell them at the markets.

    Between her needlecraft and Father's farm work, the two of them saved up enough money to send me to a prestigious international academy, one of the few places left where one could learn English. 'Know thy enemy' - and the first step to that is understanding his language.

     

    December 2064

    I hated the smell of the hospital. The disinfectant ran straight up my nose and down to my stomach, stirring it, making me retch. But I would gladly sniff every trace of bleach in the ward if it meant that Mother could live another day.

    'Mama,' I pleaded, pressing my face against her covers. 'Mama, don't go away. I'll be a good girl from now on, I promise, I'll even help Baba around the farm, so please don't go away...'

    Mother reached out with a withered, shaking hand and cupped my cheek, stroking my tears off with her thumb.

    'My darling little Butterfly,' she rasped as her eyes dimmed.

    That day and the day of her funeral had been the only times I ever saw Father cry. When the wake was over and the daoshi had left, I saw him take a little cloth doll and place it silently on her gravestone.

     

    April 2073

    The Day of Qing Ming had come just after my army leave, but Major Wong had been kind enough to allow me one extra day to do my Tomb-Sweeping duties.

    Flowers and incense sticks had been easy enough to buy at the markets, but when I went to look for cloth dolls, all the stores and stalls turned up empty. None of them sold toys any more, the times were hard enough as they were with the war effort.

    I sighed, depressed, then turned around and began to make my way out of the city. Baba and Mama were waiting.

    As I left the main street, a neon sign caught my eye. 'Wa wa deem,' I read, stopping in my tracks. A dollhouse.

    Hopeful, I pushed my way inside. A bell tinkled, and the shopkeeper looked up. I stiffened and my hand twitched for my service pistol. The store was run by a white man!

    'Zdravstvutye,' the shopkeeper said cheerily, then corrected himself and gave his best attempt at Mandarin. 'Ni hao. Wo de ming zhi shi Nikolai. Sui bian kan kan.'

    I relaxed. The Soviets may not be as friendly with us nowadays, but we were still Comrades under the same Red Banner.

    'Zdravstvutye, Tovarishch Nikolay,' I said.

    Nikolai hid his wince poorly, and from that point on we both resolved to communicate in English.

    'I was wondering if you sold any cloth dolls. Rag-stuffed ones with painted faces.'

    'Hmm,' Comrade Nikolai rubbed his chin. 'I'm sorry, but all we have in stock right now are teddy bears.'

    'Nothing else?' I was shocked.

    'No one has the time to make dolls by hand any more, and the import ban meant that plastic dolls and bobbleheads don't reach the mainland. All that's left are the teddy bears. Teddy bears are eternal,' Nikolai joked. 'Won't you buy one? No one ever stops by these days...'

    Feeling sorry for the man, I bought a teddy bear off the shelf and headed for the cemetery with the rest of my offerings.

    The walk up the mountain was short, and the spring rain was just light enough to justify going without an umbrella and just heavy enough to be irritating. I stared at the teddy bear all the way. The stitching was perfect, but of course it was, it had been machine-tooled. The proportions were even, each limb the exact same size, and the buttons and threads that made up the bear's face had been mathematically arranged to be completely symmetrical. The air gun that blew the stuffing into the fluffy body had been calibrated to shoot the exact amount of cotton to allow the bear to be firm but still soft and bouncy. And this was only one of the thousands of teddy bears that a single factory could produce in a day. I stopped a few rows from Mother.

    It was the most disgusting thing I had ever laid my eyes on.

    With a cry of fury I dashed the thing against a nearby tree, tearing one of its arms off as it caught on the bark. I flung it by the leg into the air, and it landed next to a rusty dustbin in a pile of dog shit, where it belonged.

    How dare I? How dare I even entertain the thought of desecrating my parents' graves with this loveless, lifeless, production-line manufactured perversion?

    'I'm sorry, Mama,' I murmured as I set the flowers in her tombstone's marble jar and lit the incense. 'I won't do it again.'

     

    September 2077

    'I said no!' I shouted. 'No teddy bears for Shaun!'

    'Honey, is something bothering you?' Nate said, quite alarmed. 'All kids love teddy bears. You don't seriously expect our boy to grow up with only Codsworth to play with, do you?'

    Breathing heavily, I calmed myself. Stay in character, maintain your cover.

    'I'm sorry.' I slumped, feigning resignation. 'It's just that I've had... some bad experiences with teddy bears in the past.'

    'What kind?' Nate probed, staring at me. I saw concern in his eyes... mixed with a hint of suspicion. Oh, hell. I loved him so, but he could be a little too astute at times. I was going to have to lie.

    'I accidentally locked myself in a closet once,' I whispered, hugging my chest. 'It's silly, I know, but it was so hot and stuffy and there was nothing in there but a giant teddy bear staring me right in the face...'

    This had to be the most ridiculous story I'd ever spun yet, but by some insane stroke of luck my husband believed it.

    'Really? I've heard of strange phobias, but this one takes the cake,' Nate laughed. 'All right, no teddy bears for Shaun. We'll look into getting him some other toys instead.'

     

    January 2288

    'Watch out!' Valentine's hand shot up, the servos and motors drawing his pistol faster than any human muscle. The Gunner sneaking up behind my sniping point fell with two slugs buried in his chest.

    'I owe you another one, Detective,' I called, wiping my brow. 'Is the waystation clear?'

    'Not picking up any life signs,' he answered as I made the climb down, my Type 41 slung across my back. 'You picked a good spot there, overlooking the highway. Might have been a bit too predictable, though. These mercenaries are familiar with sharpshooters.'

    'It was either that or potshots from the open,' I shrugged. 'At least there's cover here.'

    'Whatever you say. I know better than to argue with Commie snipers.' He flinched. 'Sorry.'

    'Don't worry about it.' Valentine was still coming to terms with his memory subroutines, which were taken from a pre-War American policeman. I understood prejudice better than most, so I let it go.

    'Should check those ammo crates,' the Detective said, changing the subject. 'If we're lucky, we might find a spare bullet or two for that gun of yours.'

    'Now there's an idea...' I trailed off, staring at one of the Gunners' bunks.

    No.

    No.

    No, no, no. It couldn't be, not- not here!

    But there it was, a pristine teddy bear, plopped on top of the mattress.

    With my mouth agape in horror, I sprinted towards the damned thing, sliding my combat knife from my boot.

    I grabbed the bear by the throat and pushed it against the makeshift metal wall and stabbed it again and again and again until I spilled its cotton guts all over the ground and one of its button eyes was hanging loose from its face and the gashes on its arms and legs were opening and widening and kept stabbing until the seams came loose and it came apart completely in my hands falling floating tearing ripping.

    'What's gotten into you?' Valentine exclaimed, and I spun whiddershins to face him.

    'Teddy bears?' I screeched. 'Fucking teddy bears? In a post-nuclear war wasteland? Ngo pok gai dui nei lou mou tsau hai hum ga fu gwei on lun gau gau ngo mm lun sun yee bak leen guo zho nee go sai gai zhong yau pok gai be be hong ngo diu nei lou mou hum ga tsan...'

    'Jesus, I'm glad the Institute didn't install a Chinese language module in my noggin,' Valentine muttered, backing away slowly. 'Yeah, there's a lot of those scattered all over the place for some reason. Think I found a whole little family of them in a wrecked bus once.'

    'WHAT?!'

    'Now that I think of it, seem to remember there was this Teddy Ruxpin fellow off on some mission to rescue teddy bears. Some other oddjobs have taken up the job too, and they've already found quite a few-'

    I screamed so loudly the sound echoed three times across the wastes.

    A few minutes later a couple of hulking green shapes appeared on the horizon.

    'Human loud! Human stupid! We eat human now, crunch your bones!'

    'GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY,' I shrieked, raising the Si Yi Shi to my shoulder and firing. I drew the bolt back, ejected the spent cartridge, loaded a fresh round into the chamber and fired again, completing the doublet. Super Mutant skulls were tough, but depleted uranium shells were tougher. Their heads exploded like red confetti. 'I HAVE WORK TO DO.'

    To think that even after two hundred years, even after the scourge of nuclear fire, such abominations, such sick mockery of dolls spawned of the Western devils' cultural imperialism, still plague the Earth!

     

     

     

    I will not abide it.

     

     

    I WILL NOT ABIDE IT!

     

     

    I SWEAR ON MY FAMILY NAME OF QIU, I WILL NOT ABIDE IT!

     

     

    FOR EVERY ONE TEDDY BEAR YOU CAPITALIST PIGS RECOVER, I WILL DESTROY TEN!

     

     

     

    EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!


    This post was edited by A Shadow Under the Moons at May 28, 2017 4:26 PM EDT
    • 215 posts
    May 28, 2017 4:38 PM EDT

    Harrow, uh did you have your tea today? 

    • 215 posts
    May 28, 2017 5:45 PM EDT

    Don't worry, that's just Harrow being.. well, Harrow.

    • 215 posts
    May 28, 2017 5:46 PM EDT

    Don't worry, that's just Harrow being.. well, Harrow.

    Re-edit: Ignore this double post. Damn internet connection.


    This post was edited by KaiserSoSay at May 28, 2017 5:49 PM EDT
    • 37 posts
    May 28, 2017 8:19 PM EDT

    haha I love this thread guys! I too have found many a strange fluff toy, but have neglected to pick any up during my time... Then again my character isn't the loving type :P

    • 650 posts
    May 29, 2017 9:54 AM EDT

    I think... this is my favorite Fallout thread of all time.