One of my mates just sent this to me, I thought I'd share it here seeing how we're trying to liven the forums up again. Hopefully this won't be as shockingly criminal as last nights thread...
You have to wonder what this guy did to tick someone off this badly. Wow! A Scottish householder returns home to find that some idiot has took a shit down his chimney. Mike Williams is furious as the chimney had only just been cleaned.. Mike raged: “I was just getting home from work when a neighbour ran up and said they had seen a wee ned (Scottish for ruffian) shitting down the chimney. “He’s even taken a wee photo on his phone.
When I open the door the smell was incredible. “The wee bastards’s shite had landed in the grate, it was all over the place! “It was all on the rug in front of the fire. There’s no way it’ll brush out. What the hell am i going to say to the insurance? ‘Och, a ned shat down the chimney’? “If I get my hands on the little bastard I’ll kick him so hard in the arse he’ll never sh*t again.” A source at Grampian Police said the crime was “Unpleasant and unusual”.
Hahaha! Love it! Unfortunately, I was a "ruffian" in my youth as well. Three of my friends and I pissed in a chick's car one night. She showed up next day of school in said car with no cares in the world. I still wonder how she reacted or if she just assumed it was a stray cat.