Here we go...I didn't do the whole song, because, frankly, Sir Mix-A-Lot could use a lesson in brevity, but here's the first major part of the song. The part most everyone bothers to listen to before they get tired of listening to a song about butts and want a song about something else. Maybe murder. Or squids.
Oh, my, Kyne. Jordis, look at his sword
It's so big. [scoff] He looks like
One of those dumb Nord giants.
But, you know, who understands those giants? [scoff]
They only fight with him, because,
He looks like a total companion, 'aye?
I mean, his sword, is just so big
I can't believe it's just so long, it's like,
out there, I mean - run! Look!
He's charging...now!I like big swords and I cannot lie.
You other brothers can't deny
That when a guard walks in with a nitty-gritty case
And a round shield in your face
Your hilt's wrung, things are gonna get rough
'Cause you notice those boots are cuffed.
Blood's on the mail he's wearin
I'm crooked and I can't stop starin
Back off, I'm gonna come get you
Priest read your scripture.
Companions have adorned me
But that strut you got makes me so thorny.
Ooh, Crippled has been
You say you're gonna come take me in?
Well, bruise me, noose me,
'Cause you ain't nothin but a trainee
I'll have you dancin'
To hell with your prancin'.
No threat, vet,
Arrow to knee filled with regret.
I'm tired of these soft high kings
Hirin' men who can't upswing
Take the average Nord man and ask him that
Sword's gotta have no slack
So fightas! (Yea) Fightas! (Yea!)
Has your swordarm got the steel?
Go 'head and swing it! (Swing it!) Swing it! (Swing it!)
Swing that heavy steel!
Blades've got smack.(Whiterun forge with Markarth silver)
Blades've got smack.
On further note, I think this should be part of my intervention. I obviously need psychological help...
My List...(Yes there's a list I have so many addictions...)
Collecting ingredients - I love to pick mountain flowers and catch butterflies. Pretty camp, but it's my addiction....
Picking up gold - Doesn't matter whether it's 2 gold or 2,000. I will ALWAYS pick it up, I just can't ignore even a septim, be it in a chest, or on a corpse....
Restartitis - God knows how many characters I played, but guaranteed 98% of them are thieves or assassins...sometimes both.
My latest one (up until a week ago) is hoarding cheese....I don't why....I just love everything about it. I'm not even that fond of cheese in RL. Weird....
Playing stealthy toons. I can't remember a time when I haven't played a stealthy character.....this is probably my biggest addiction....to the point I may need RL professional help
So, meet me, Nelaf. A cheese-loving, butterfly-catching, materialistic, money-grabbing assassin thief.
Pleased to meet you.