Limericks of the Nine Holds

• Posted by Cinae March 25, 2016 - 848 views

  There was a man headed for Dawnstar.
  Don’t go there, I said, ‘cause that’s where bad dreams are.
  But he went to Dawnstar, slept in a bed
  and in the morning woke full of dread
  all because he went to Dawnstar.
  
  There was an elf headed for Winterhold.
  Why are you going there, I said, it’s too cold!
  The College, said he, it’s the place to be.
   Oh, I said, I see
   and left him to freeze in Winterhold.
  
  There was a Nord heading for Solitude
  Now, to the Imperials, I said, you mustn’t be rude
  or they’ll give you the boot
  and instead of Roggvir, it’ll be you they execute
  and then the Nord didn’t head to Solitude.
  
  There was a dark elf heading for Windhelm, I said,
  be careful, ‘cause there’ll be Nords who’ll want you dead.
  He told me that Mephala and Boethia were on his side
  that they’d play games with those Nords, and Nords couldn’t hide.
  I sighed, and said, well, don’t blame me, if you’re dead.
  
  There was a great lady heading for Riften.
   I said, the thieves’ll want those jewels you’ve gotten.
   Well, said she, if they take my jewels, they’ll die on the spot
   or, at least, in the dungeon they’ll rot.
   So the great lady and her jewels headed for Riften.
  
   There was a man heading for Markarth.
   He came from Winterhold, and wore a scarf.
   Don’t get involved in anything politic
   I said, ‘cause that’ll end you awfully quick.
   The man agreed as he headed to Markarth.
  
   There was a woman headed for Falkreath
   Didn’t you know, I said, that here there is grief?
   The dead are more than the living in this town
   and a werewolf has turned things upside down.
   A werewolf? she said, and did not go, to my relief.
  
   There was a vampire heading to Morthal
   and I didn’t speak to him at all.
   Because I thought he’d drain me dry
   and I didn’t want to die,
  I didn’t warn the vampire about Morthal.
  
  There was a young adventurer heading to Whiterun
   They’re not letting anyone in, I said, sorry, son.
   Then he said, that won’t do.
   They must let me through,
   ‘Cause it’s from Helgen I’ve come.