Practice of Magic: Memories of a Very Stupid Orc, 1st Entry

  • 4E 206... shit, I actually have no idea what day it is today. Probably Sun's Dawn. Or First Seed?

     

    The Orc in black fled across the desert, and the Knights followed…

     

    Rather poetic, eh? There's not many hiding places in Alik'r so I can't really shake them off. They are persistent, I’ll give them that. Didn't expect they would be able to track me down again, but they did and now we are playing cat and mouse among the mighty sands of Alik'r. They are getting closer everyday - I see their fire in the night and each night it is closer. At first I was trying to throw them off the trail by not starting my own fire, but when they still managed to follow, I gave up. Plus...desert is tusking cold during night.

     

    I never thought I'd be the one writing a journal, but there's not much else to do here. Beside walking. And dying. Am I dying? It is quite possible. I drank the last drops of water five days ago. Now I'm drinking my own piss and I think I'm going crazy. People say it happens when you start drinking your own piss.

     

    Just makes me wonder what got me here. What set me onto this path? Maybe those stupid Standing Stones? Nah, that's not it. It was later, few months later, at College. Broody wanted me to go with him, to Mzulft. I think that's the shit storm that most likely got me where I am now.

     

    Or where I got myself...depends on the point of view.

     

    When I joined the College it was so strange at first. It was a place I didn't really fit in, but truth is...did I really fit anywhere? I was an outcast my whole life, but to my surprise, College started feeling like a home after time. They didn't give a crap about me being an Orc - maybe because their librarian was a freaking Orc. And I had a talent. In that time it seemed that Illusion and Alteration will get me far.

     

    And I was kind of happy. After everything that happened, I felt like I finally belong somewhere, that I have the fate in my hands now. I wasn't just an Orc thief with big mouth, I wasn't powerless. I had the power of Magicka at my fingertips.

     

    I remember the first time I overwhelmed person's mind with Illusion magic. Mess - Brelyna Maryon - was pissing me off for very long time and I had enough. I used my magic against her, I made her tremble in fear. Me! Skinny Orc who everyone was laughing at when he was trying to be intimidating. But not anymore. I had the power to make all the laughing tuskers fear me. I felt powerful. For the first time in my life I felt I was in control of my life. I was something.

     

    I got cocky. I got reckless. Because of feeling like something more than I really was. I was drank with power, stupid Orc who barely scratched the surface and felt like the I could play with the big kids on their yard. Well...there always comes a moment when you hit the reality with your face with stubborn force and it's forced to hit you back and break your nose.

     

    It all started with Mzulft. Me, Ash and Broody went there together, traveling down south from Winterhold to Eastmarch, to a Dwemer ruin at the base of Velothi Mountains. Broody said that we are looking for Synod researchers who showed up in College some time ago and it was Ervine who managed to overhear them talking about Mzulft. And because I was already there - or near it, so I knew where it was - Broody took me along. First real test of my abilities.

     

    I was trying to pry more information out of Broody but the only thing he was willing to say was that some tusker of Dunlain told him to go there - though to be honest, it sounded only like a half of the truth to me. But hey, at least I got the option to stretch my legs and to see what I can really do.

     

    Broody insisted he wanted to look into the Storage Room first, so I showed him how to bypass the traps. The last time I was there we didn't have time to carry anything out and neither we had it now, but Broody was thrilled about the treasures in there and said that he'll be definitely going to back and bring them back to College.

     

    We entered Mzulf then and ran into a dying Synod researcher. They were after something big there, that I could tell and I was quite curious.

     

    Now I wish I wasn't. It brought nothing but trouble. To everyone.

     

    We've had to fight our way through Dwemer automatons and when I look back, I see now how reckless I was back then. I threw away all my caution I was known for. I was feeling strong and powerful and I wanted to use the power. We've got through the Dwemer automatons with ease, but it was when we encountered the Falmer when I realized how careless I was. I burned myself out of magicka, but Ash and Broody still had plenty of it.

     

    I overdosed myself on Magicka potions, conquering the minds of Falmer, letting them fight against each other. I wanted to prove I was an equal to those mages, that I wasn't a baggage. Yet...I had a seizure, from the overdose.

     

    Careless.

     

    Ash had to remain with me while Urag went looking for some Dwemer gizmo. It was so humiliating. Once again I proved how stupid Orc I am. If I held back, as I always did, things would go much more smoothly, I know that now. But I had to prove myself I'm not useless, right?

     

    We found a breathing Synod researcher and to say that he was suspicious of us is an understatement. He kept accusing us - and College - of hiding something, of interfering with their work or something. Then he lead us to strange Dwemer device, saying that the Imperial Orrery gave Synod this idea. Instead of projecting the night sky, they were going to use the Dwemer Oculory to project the map of Tamriel, to track artifacts of great magical power.

     

    And they did accomplish that. But there were only two places on that map. College and Labyrinthian.

     

    He went all crazy on our arses, shouting at us for destroying his life work and then he attacked us. Well...it didn't end well for him and he ended up in pool of his own blood. Another dead body at my feet, it made me sick, and it wasn't even me who dealt the killing blow and put the madman out of his misery.

     

    After that, Broody finally told the truth. We were looking for Staff of Magnus and apparently it was in Labyrinthian. Right under everyone's noses.

     

    Magnus. The architect of the world. What a load of horseshit, at least that's what I thought back then. Is it a really staff of the God of Magic that left the creation? Or just very powerful artifact? And same questions could be asked about Eye that was floating in College's Hall of Elements.

     

    With that information, we were heading back to College, to pass on what we have learned to Arch-Mage. On the way to College we met Shiny - how convenient - who wanted back his Elder Scroll. Tusking Elder Scroll! In College! The thought to steal it and sell it crossed my mind. Old habbits die slowly.

     

    And then the shit storm hit.

     

    When we arrived in Winterhold, the city was overrun by...tusking lantern lights or whatever. Magic Anomalies they called them as I learned later. Whole Winterhold became a battlefield powerful magics, the old ruined houses turned into battlements as mages and people were taking a shelter from the ongoing storm of spells. Ha, and I was one of them. What was I supposed to do? I didn't and still don't wield powerful Destruction spells, I was bloody useless there. Again! I studied the damn magic for more than four months and I was still the same useless bungler!

     

    Broody and Shiny then went to College and something happened. There was a big explosion and both Broody and Shiny showed up, grim as never before. The Arch-Mage was gone, Ancano was messing with the Eye and we couldn't do anything about it. Well...I always knew I have a way how to get myself in all kinds of shit storms. And this one was big. How was I supposed to study when there was a freaking Thalmor mad with power and set on destroying whole College?

     

    Next time, when I'll get that urge to prove myself and others that I'm not useless, that I can pull my own weight...I'm going to slap myself. Real hard. Broody and Shiny decided to go to Labyrinthian and what did I do? I volunteered to go with them. Zenithar's marble balls on an anvil! How can be anyone so stupid as me?

     

    So, beside dragging my arse through frozen wasteland of Pale, getting through bunch of starving Frost Trolls and then hordes of undead...it was about to get much much worse.

     

    I always thought that dragons were intimidating and deadly enough...well, that's because I actually haven't met an undead dragon until Labyrinthian. Trying to fight a thing like that...thing that can't be hurt by normal means, with bones hard as stone and when being completely drained of magicka by a mad Dragon Priest wielding Staff of Magnus? Never again, thank you.

     

    When we got through the dragon and hordes of skeletons, trying to catch our breaths, we encountered a...projection of Arch-Mage's memories. Or an echo that got trapped in that gods cursed ruin. So apparently, Aren had been in Labyrinthian before. With five companions. I think that back then I already could figure out how exactly that went.

     

    As we were progressing through the ruin, the Dragon Priest was constantly sending shockwaves of magic through the rain, completely burning every drop of magicka from our souls. It was there that I realised how precious Magicka is for a mage. I finally understood.

     

    When a mage has plentiful of Magicka in his reserves, he is full of vitality and life, because the Magicka is sustaining him. He can get away with only four hours of sleep and feel rested when he wakes up - with regenerated Magicka pool as well, because I found that during sleep magicka regenerates faster. Also, I found out that to fully regenerate it takes few days, and all that depends if the mage gets enough sleep, eats, drinks and all that.

     

    But without Magicka...I felt like after a party with Sanguine. Weak, with shaking knees, my head hurt and whole world was dizzy. All I wanted was to lay down on the ground and sleep. And maybe with twelve hours of sleep I would regenerate at least something. But we didn't have that luxury.

     

    Yet...once again I became useless. I was completely stripped of the only thing that was making me special, powerful, being reduced back to that little piece of useless knives throwing shit. I had to rely on my wits again.

     

    But Shiny and Broody...they owned that shit. With their big muscles, resolve, willpower and all that shit. I was angry and hurt, because I had to rely on someone else again. Speak about self-reliance, eh?

     

    Who was I in comparison to the all mighty Old Mary Dragonborn who could also shoot a damn fly's wings from the other side of continent with his bow and swing his sword around like if it was net meant for catching butterflies? Or three hundred years old Orc drinking spells thrown at him like if they were bottles of mead and rip Draugr's head off with his bare hands? They were kicking arse while I was running around with toothpicks which the Draugr barely noticed.

     

    I remember that moment when we stumbled into something that might have been a laboratory and I found a book on the table. I opened it, saw the strange runes, yet for some reason, they were making  a sense to me. I saw the name Shalidor. Spellbook written by Shalidor himself! I was thrilled, because there was a possibility that in that book was something that might make me useful again. When Broody noticed me with the book he took it from me, with Shiny frowning at me - or the book, doesn't really matter - and said something like: “Nothing for you, runt.”

     

    Yeah. Runt, that's what I was to them. Just a baggage.

     

    And the end? Dragon Priest trapped by spirits of Aren's friends, absorbing Magicka with Staff of Magnus. How did that thing get into his bony hands is beyond me, but damn...it was the biggest display of raw power I ever witnessed. Shiny channeled his Highborn power, Urag went berserker, drinking all the spells the Priest threw at him and he also used a spell I never saw before.

     

    His skin began to peel off, he became pale, old scars opened, but in exchange he was regenerating magicka! The storm of fire, frost and lighting was raging around me, but only thing I was able to think was that book, Liturgy of Affliction. Mage casting Destruction spells through his body. But this was different...Urag was using his own life force, turning it into raw Magicka that could be used for casting spells. Refined spell. Spell promising a power to whoever wielded it.

     

    And then it was over, shouts in Dragon language died off, spells vanished and the Dragon Priest turned into dust. We were all burned and bloody, Urag barely standing on his feet, but the Staff...I lifted it from the ground. The power it was emanating! It was almost like holding a pure crystallized Magicka in my hands. Broody than took it and we headed back to College, meeting the spirit of Aren for the last time.

     

    Hm. The dawn is breaking. That's my cue. I'm going to leave this note behind, because what use I have for it? I hope you tuskers find it and read it. Maybe then you'll at least understand what kind of prey you are trying to catch. Because I imagine you'll catch up with me sooner or later, as many times before.

     

    But not a single time before I was so desperate as I am now. It might turn ugly this time. So stop, please. I'm not interested in going back, definitely not Wrothgar or Dragontail.

     

    Just...think about what you read here. Maybe then you'll finally understand... me.

     

     

Comments

10 Comments   |   A-Pocky-Hah! and 8 others like this.
  • Caladran
    Caladran   ·  December 18, 2017
    Poor Grulmar. o:
  • Sotek
    Sotek   ·  January 21, 2017
    Poor Gru... feels he has so much to offer yet at the crunch he comes short. I find this take of the protagonist far better than a character who comes out om top all the time. It's quite refreshing to see a char struggle so. 
    Well done Karver. L...  more
  • Meli
    Meli   ·  January 13, 2017
    Awww, Grulmar... It's like the first day at the perfect job and you think you have so much to give, and then you realise you know nothing and have to learn about the place and processes first before you can make a difference
  • Teineeva
    Teineeva   ·  January 12, 2017
    Poor, stupid, Grulmar... Nice to finally see this one up.
  • The Sunflower Manual
    The Sunflower Manual   ·  January 12, 2017
    ...is it really a good idea to tell your pursuers exactly how weak or strong you are and what you're capable of?

    Then again, this is Grulmar, so he could be just misdirecting them.
  • The Long-Chapper
    The Long-Chapper   ·  January 12, 2017
    It's very funny to read Grulmar's account of events. Somehow, I don't think it went down exactly that way. ;) But I love his perception of them. 
    • Karver the Lorc
      Karver the Lorc
      The Long-Chapper
      The Long-Chapper
      The Long-Chapper
      It's very funny to read Grulmar's account of events. Somehow, I don't think it went down exactly that way. ;) But I love his perception of them. 
        ·  January 12, 2017
      You know how it´s with memories. After 3 years you basicaly remember only images and feelings and that certainly paints the memories in different colours. :)
  • A-Pocky-Hah!
    A-Pocky-Hah!   ·  January 12, 2017
    What did you do, Gru? WHAT DID YOU DO!?
    I find it ironic that Grulmar thinks Aelberon is better at magic than him, despite the latter having the same problems when it came to using the Thu'um in his earlier days.
    • Karver the Lorc
      Karver the Lorc
      A-Pocky-Hah!
      A-Pocky-Hah!
      A-Pocky-Hah!
      What did you do, Gru? WHAT DID YOU DO!?
      I find it ironic that Grulmar thinks Aelberon is better at magic than him, despite the latter having the same problems when it came to using the Thu'um in his earlier days.
        ·  January 12, 2017
      Hehehe. I'm no tell :D


      And I think that Grulmar's beef is that when Albee's magic fails he still regulary kicks ass.
      • The Long-Chapper
        The Long-Chapper
        Karver the Lorc
        Karver the Lorc
        Karver the Lorc
        Hehehe. I'm no tell :D


        And I think that Grulmar's beef is that when Albee's magic fails he still regulary kicks ass.
          ·  January 12, 2017
        lol, Grulmar just has a beef with Albee. Shiny this, Shiny that. Tusk Shiny!